Good relationships are good for you and good for your children. It’s never too late to start working on improving your relationships.

People in supportive, loving relationships are more likely to feel healthy, happy and satisfied with their lives. They are less likely to have mental or physical health problems or do things that affect their health. People in good relationships help each other practically as well as emotionally. They share the good times and help each other through the tough ones. All relationships have challenging times.

Your relationship greatly affects your children as they grow up and become adults. Children will benefit from your efforts to enrich your relationship.

Breaking up can be a health hazard

It often takes two years or more for a couple whose relationship has ended to begin to put their lives back together and recover from their emotional pain. Many people can develop serious health and emotional problems during this time. Financially, many men and women and their children are significantly worse off following separation and divorce.

Good relationships

Good relationships involve:

• respect, honesty and trust

• love, companionship and shared activities

• mutual emotional support and intimacy

• communication

• agreement about finances, child raising and other matters important to you

• shared dreams for the future.

Relationships can change

Over time, people change in many ways including their interests, confidence and attitudes. Relationships can change when:

• children arrive and as the children go through various developmental stages and eventually leave home

• there are financial pressures

• work demands increase and responsibilities change

• one or both partners retire from work

• if you stop doing things together.

Some couples also face unexpected changes like:

• illness

• disability

• unemployment

• addiction problems

• living apart due to employment or family issues.

All changes bring their own challenges, but are easier to cope with if the couple relationship is solid and they can talk and work their way through the issues that concern them.

Good relationships are good for you and good for your children. It’s never too late to start working on improving your relationships.

People in supportive, loving relationships are more likely to feel healthy, happy and satisfied with their lives. They are less likely to have mental or physical health problems or do things that affect their health. People in good relationships help each other practically as well as emotionally. They share the good times and help each other through the tough ones. All relationships have challenging times.

Your relationship greatly affects your children as they grow up and become adults. Children will benefit from your efforts to enrich your relationship.

Breaking up can be a health hazard

It often takes two years or more for a couple whose relationship has ended to begin to put their lives back together and recover from their emotional pain. Many people can develop serious health and emotional problems during this time. Financially, many men and women and their children are significantly worse off following separation and divorce.

Good relationships

Good relationships involve:

• respect, honesty and trust

• love, companionship and shared activities

• mutual emotional support and intimacy

• communication

• agreement about finances, child raising and other matters important to you

• shared dreams for the future.

Relationships can change

Over time, people change in many ways including their interests, confidence and attitudes. Relationships can change when:

• children arrive and as the children go through various developmental stages and eventually leave home

• there are financial pressures

• work demands increase and responsibilities change

• one or both partners retire from work

• if you stop doing things together.

Some couples also face unexpected changes like:

• illness

• disability

• unemployment

• addiction problems

• living apart due to employment or family issues.

All changes bring their own challenges, but are easier to cope with if the couple relationship is solid and they can talk and work their way through the issues that concern them.

One of the most significant theories created by The Gottman Institute is the Sound Relationship House. In John Gottman’s book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, those seven principles are connected to each level, or floor, of the Sound Relationship House. Those levels are:

1. Build Love Maps

2. Share Fondness and Admiration

3. Turn Towards Instead of Away

4. The Positive Perspective

5. Manage Conflict

6. Make Life Dreams Come True

7. Create Shared Meaning

And the two walls holding up the house are trust and commitment, which are essential to all relationships. We’d like to start at the foundation with the first level of the Sound Relationship House: Build Love Maps. The principle of building Love Maps is simply this: knowing the little things about your partner’s life creates a strong foundation for your friendship and intimacy.

Why Love Maps are so important

In our research, we found that emotionally intelligent couples are intimately familiar with each other’s worlds. We call this having a richly detailed Love Map: our term for that part of your brain where you store all the important, and even not so important, information about your partner’s life.

Another way of saying this is that these couples have made plenty of cognitive room in their minds for their relationship. They remember the major events in each other’s histories, and they keep updating their information as the facts and feelings of their spouse’s world change. They know each other’s goals in life, each other’s worries, and each other’s hopes and dreams. Without such a love map, you can’t really know your partner. And if you don’t really know someone, how can you truly love them?

From knowledge springs not only love, but the fortitude to weather marital storms. Couples who have detailed love maps of each other’s worlds are far better prepared to cope with stressful events and conflict. Partners who are already in the habit of keeping up to date and are intently aware of what each other are feeling and thinking aren’t as thrown off course by changes and stress in each other’s lives. But if you don’t start off with a deep knowledge of each other, it’s easy for your relationship to lose its way when your lives shift with the challenges and stressors that come to you over time.

How to build Love Maps

Start creating and strengthening your Love Maps today! Try to answer the following questions about each other and find out how much you really know about your partner’s world. While you’re having fun playing, you’ll also be expanding and deepening your relationship.

Love Map Exercise:

• Name my two closest friends.

• What was I wearing when we first met?

• Name one of my hobbies.

• What stresses am I facing right now?

• Describe in detail what I did today or yesterday.

• What is my fondest unrealized dream?

• What is one of my greatest fears or disaster scenarios?

• What is my favorite way to spend an evening?

• What is one of my favorite ways to be soothed?

• What is my favorite getaway place?

• What are some of the important events coming up in my life? How do I feel about them?

• What are some of my favorite ways to work out?

• Name one of my major rivals or “enemies.”

• What would I consider my ideal job?

• What medical problems do I worry about?

• What was my most embarrassing moment?

• Name one of my favorite novels/movies.

• What is my favorite restaurant?

Asking these questions will help you develop greater personal insight and a more detailed “map” of each other’s lives and worlds. However, getting to know your partner better and sharing your inner self with them is an ongoing process. We suggest regularly updating each other’s love maps by sitting down and catching up. Remember, the more you know about each other, the more you feel a strong connection, and the more profound and rewarding your relationship will be.

Did a man called Jesus of Nazareth walk the earth? Discussions over whether the figure known as the “Historical Jesus” actually existed primarily reflect disagreements among atheists. Believers, who uphold the implausible and more easily-dismissed “Christ of Faith” (the divine Jesus who walked on water), ought not to get involved.

Numerous secular scholars have presented their own versions of the so-called “Historical Jesus” – and most of them are, as biblical scholar J.D. Crossan puts it, “an academic embarrassment.” From Crossan’s view of Jesus as the wise sage, to Robert Eisenman’s Jesus the revolutionary, and Bart Ehrman’s apocalyptic prophet, about the only thing New Testament scholars seem to agree on is Jesus’ historical existence. But can even that be questioned?

The first problem we encounter when trying to discover more about the Historical Jesus is the lack of early sources. The earliest sources only reference the clearly fictional Christ of Faith. These early sources, compiled decades after the alleged events, all stem from Christian authors eager to promote Christianity – which gives us reason to question them. The authors of the Gospels fail to name themselves, describe their qualifications, or show any criticism with their foundational sources – which they also fail to identify. Filled with mythical and non-historical information, and heavily edited over time, the Gospels certainly should not convince critics to trust even the more mundane claims made therein.

The methods traditionally used to tease out rare nuggets of truth from the Gospels are dubious. The criterion of embarrassment says that if a section would be embarrassing for the author, it is more likely authentic. Unfortunately, given the diverse nature of Christianity and Judaism back then (things have not changed all that much), and the anonymity of the authors, it is impossible to determine what truly would be embarrassing or counter-intuitive, let alone if that might not serve some evangelistic purpose.

The criterion of Aramaic context is similarly unhelpful. Jesus and his closest followers were surely not the only Aramaic-speakers in first-century Judea. The criterion of multiple independent attestation can also hardly be used properly here, given that the sources clearly are not independent.

Paul’s Epistles, written earlier than the Gospels, give us no reason to dogmatically declare Jesus must have existed. Avoiding Jesus’ earthly events and teachings, even when the latter could have bolstered his own claims, Paul only describes his “Heavenly Jesus.” Even when discussing what appear to be the resurrection and the last supper, his only stated sources are his direct revelations from the Lord, and his indirect revelations from the Old Testament. In fact, Paul actually rules out human sources (see Galatians 1:11-12).

Also important are the sources we don’t have. There are no existing eyewitness or contemporary accounts of Jesus. All we have are later descriptions of Jesus’ life events by non-eyewitnesses, most of whom are obviously biased. Little can be gleaned from the few non-Biblical and non-Christian sources, with only Roman scholar Josephus and historian Tacitus having any reasonable claim to be writing about Jesus within 100 years of his life. And even those sparse accounts are shrouded in controversy, with disagreements over what parts have obviously been changed by Christian scribes (the manuscripts were preserved by Christians), the fact that both these authors were born after Jesus died (they would thus have probably received this information from Christians), and the oddity that centuries go by before Christian apologists start referencing them.

Agnosticism over the matter is already seemingly appropriate, and support for this position comes from independent historian Richard Carrier’s recent defense of another theory — namely, that the belief in Jesus started as the belief in a purely celestial being (who was killed by demons in an upper realm), who became historicized over time. To summarize Carrier’s 800-page tome, this theory and the traditional theory – that Jesus was a historical figure who became mythicized over time – both align well with the Gospels, which are later mixtures of obvious myth and what at least sounds historical.

The Pauline Epistles, however, overwhelmingly support the “celestial Jesus” theory, particularly with the passage indicating that demons killed Jesus, and would not have done so if they knew who he was (see: 1 Corinthians 2:6-10). Humans – the murderers according to the Gospels – of course would still have killed Jesus, knowing full well that his death results in their salvation, and the defeat of the evil spirits.

So what do the mainstream (and non-Christian) scholars say about all this? Surprisingly very little – of substance anyway. Only Bart Ehrman and Maurice Casey have thoroughly attempted to prove Jesus’ historical existence in recent times. Their most decisive point? The Gospels can generally be trusted – after we ignore the many, many bits that are untrustworthy – because of the hypothetical (i.e. non-existent) sources behind them. Who produced these hypothetical sources? When? What did they say? Were they reliable? Were they intended to be accurate historical portrayals, enlightening allegories, or entertaining fictions?

Ehrman and Casey can’t tell you – and neither can any New Testament scholar. Given the poor state of the existing sources, and the atrocious methods used by mainstream Biblical historians, the matter will likely never be resolved. In sum, there are clearly good reasons to doubt Jesus’ historical existence – if not to think it outright improbable.

Australian Spirituality

2016 Australian Community Survey (2016 ACS)

In December 2016, NCLS Research conducted the 2016 Australian Community Survey (2016 ACS).

The three goals for this Community Survey are:

1. To compare the attitudes of church attenders and the wider community on a range of social issues in the time period at the end of 2016

2. To track religiosity trends over time, including religious beliefs, practices and experience.

3. To evaluate how the Australian community views the role of churches in society.

View infographics on the religion, spirituality and wellbeing of Australians (2016 ACS)

Religion and spirituality of Australians (2016 results)

Is religion good for society?

About four in ten Australians agree that religion is good for Australian society and about the same number are neutral or unsure. (2016 ACS) View infographic

How important is religious faith or spirituality in shaping life decisions?

About four in ten Australians say religious faith is important in shaping life's decisions. (2016 ACS) View infographic

Have you ever had a mystical or supernatural experience, about which you have no doubts it was real?

About a quarter of Australians report having had a mystical or supernatural experience. (2016 ACS) View infographic

Spiritual belief

About six in ten Australians believe there is a God or spirit or life force. (2016 ACS) View infographic

Belief about God

Nearly half of Australians believe in God. (2016 ACS) View infographic

How often do you pray or meditate?

Three in ten Australians say they pray or meditate at least once a week. (2016 ACS) View infographic

How often do you attend religious services (apart from special occasions)?

Less than a fifth of Australians say they attend religious services at least once a month. (2016 ACS) View infographic

Spiritual but not religious (2011 results)

Spirituality in its broadest sense is the evidence of, or attempt to explain, human transcendence. Used by the Church at many stages and in varying ways to attempt to define, explain and outline the entire relationship between a person and God a precise definition becomes impossible. Contemporary usage in wider society incorporates any aspect of humanity's connection to something other than itself. Explore definition below.

What do Australians believe about God and life beyond?

“No religion” on the rise

There has been a decline in the religiosity of Australians, with an increasing number stating that they have no religion. In the 20 years from 1991 to 2011, the number of Australians with a Christian affiliation declined from 74% to 61%. This is a major change that impacts all churches.

There is something beyond this life that makes sense of it all

Almost half of Australians (44.6%) agree that there is something beyond this life that makes sense of it all, with a third neither agreeing or disagreeing (33.5%) and around a fifth disagreeing with this statement (21.8%). Young people aged 15-29 are the least likely to agree. There are many who say they are not religious but who consider there to be a spiritual dimension to life. Church attendance is strongly related to the belief in something beyond. (2009 ASSA) (NCLS Research Spirituality Fact Sheet 1, 2010.)

Australians not willing to “just believe”

Critical reflection and questioning are significant components of contemporary Australian spirituality. Nearly half (49%) of Australians surveyed think we should strongly oppose the idea of “just believing”. More than half (54%) of all men surveyed think we should question our beliefs. Being willing to question and reflect on beliefs is associated with higher levels of education. Indecision is most evident among younger people. Those who have a religion are much more likely to have a non-questioning approach to belief. Amongst those attending church, attenders have a preference to question their beliefs rather than be dogmatic. (2009 ASSA) (NCLS Research Spirituality Fact Sheet 2, 2010.)

Christianity most influential life philosophy

Four out of ten Australians nominated the Christian religion as the most influential life philosophy on how they live today. A further 32% were unable to name an underlying life philosophy that most influenced them. Those born overseas are more likely to nominate both Christian and non-Christian religions as influential. Church attendance is strongly related to belief that Christianity has an influence on one’s life. (2009 ASSA) (NCLS Research Spirituality Fact Sheet 3, 2010.)

Guided by faith

Nearly four in ten Australians say religious faith is important to shape life’s decisions, however around two in ten find it of little importance and the remaining four in ten say it has no importance at all. Men are much more likely to say that religious faith or spirituality has no importance in their life decisions and most younger people say it is of little importance (73% of 15-29 year olds). Compared to those Australian-born, people born overseas tend to hold faith and spirituality as more important in decision making. (2009 ASSA) (NCLS Research Spirituality Fact Sheet 4, 2010.)

Australians split over Jesus’ resurrection

Around one third (35%) of Australians do not believe in the resurrection, one third (34%) are uncertain and the remaining 31% believe it was an actual event in history. Extremes in these views are seen in the youngest and highest age brackets. Higher proportions of women believe in the resurrection and those university educated are more unlikely to believe it was an actual event. (2009 ASSA) (NCLS Research Spirituality Fact Sheet 5, 2010.)

Spirituality Fact Sheets (2009 ASSA results)

NCLS Research has released a set of fact sheets on Australian Spirituality, based on the 2009 Australian Survey of Social Attitudes, which are available here.

Spirituality Factsheet 1 - Something beyond this life

Many Australians agree there is something beyond that makes sense of it all.

Spirituality Factsheet 2 - Just believe or question?

Studies reveal Australians not willing to ‘just believe’

Spirituality Factsheet 3 - Philosophies of life

Research shows diverse philosophies influences how Australians live

Spirituality Factsheet 4 - Guided by faith?

Four in ten Australians say religious faith is important to shape life’s decisions.

Spirituality Factsheet 5 - Jesus' resurrection

Australians split over Jesus’ resurrection

Defining spirituality

The term 'spirituality' is French Catholic in origin and did not fully develop as a concept until the 18th Century. Giving an exact definition for the term becomes difficult. Used by the Church at many stages and in varying ways to attempt to define, explain, and outline the entire relationship between a person and God a precise definition becomes impossible. Contemporary usage in wider society complicates a definition further with the concept leaving its Christian roots behind and coming to mean any aspect of humanity's connection to something other than itself. This includes deism (natural revelation), and theism (revealed revelation), yet also expands to include even other human relationships. Spirituality in its broadest sense is the evidence of, or attempt to explain, human transcendence.

Some have sought to argue that religion refers to an institutional dimension whereas spirituality is to do with more subjective personal perspectives (Hill and Pargament 2003, 64). Such distinctions are often used to paint religion in a negative light in contrast with more 'enlightened' contemporary spirituality. Of course, there can be both helpful and unhelpful religions and spiritualities. Religion can also be intensely personal (eg Wuthnow 1998) just as some contemporary spiritualities can form part of large international business complexes. Further, in practice, many experience spirituality in a religious context and do not draw such distinctions (Marler and Hadaway, 2002).

Hill, P.C., & Pargament, K.I., (2003). Advances in the conceptualisation and measurement of religion and spirituality: Implications for physical and mental health. American Psychologist, 58 (1), 64-74.

Marler, P.L., & Hadaway, C.K., (2002). "Being religious" or "being spiritual" in America: A zero-sum proposition? Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion, 41, 289-300.

Wuthnow, R. (1998). After heaven: Spirituality in America since the 1950s. Berkeley: University of California Press.

How ‘Christian’ are Australians

How 'Christian' are Australians? How much confidence do they have in the churches and what do they see as the role of churches in our multi-faith society?

According to the Australian Census of Population and Housing, in the 1911 Census 96% of Australians reported Christianity as their religion. Today we have more diversity in religions and denominations, as well as an increasing number of people reporting that they do not have a religion.

In the 2016 Census, Christianity was the most common religion reported in the 2016 Census (52%), with Catholics the largest group (23% of the population). Other religions make up a much smaller proportion of the population (8.2%). Nearly a third (30%) of Australians reported that they had no religion in 2016.

Compared with the 2011 Census, the proportion of the population with a Christian affiliation decreased from 61% to 52% in 2016. Conversely, the proportion of the population with a religion other than Christianity increased from 7.2% in 2011 to 8.2% in 2016. The proportion reporting to have no religion also increased from 22% in 2011 to 30% in 2016 (over an additional 2 million persons).

Source: ABS article 'Religion in Australia 2016'

Most Australians have some contact with the churches and see them as having a wider role as moral guardians, but also to provide public worship and a range of social services. There is no doubt that there have been changes in the place of Christian churches in the past few decades, yet they remain a significant part of the Australian landscape.

Rugby Australia claims Israel Folau admitted that his social media post caused harm but maintained that he would continue to post “whatever he likes”.

The chief executive of Rugby Australia, Raelene Castle, made the comments outside the federal court in Melbourne on Monday where the sacked Wallabies player and his wife, Maria Folau, were attending a mediation meeting over his $14m compensation claim.

Folau claims he was wrongfully dismissed by Rugby Australia and Rugby NSW after a controversial Instagram post in April condemning “drunks” and “homosexuals” and warning “hell awaits” them.

“Israel admitted he had caused harm with his comments and stated that he would not curb his social media use and will post whatever he likes whenever he feels the need to share his views,” Castle said.

Spectre of Israel Folau hangs over Wallabies' Rugby World Cup tilt

Read more

Last week the former rugby league and AFL player increased his compensation claim from $10m to $14m, and said the Wallabies would have done better in the 2019 Rugby World Cup if he was playing.

“I understand that not everyone shares my faith and some find it difficult to reconcile with their own beliefs,” Folau said in a video posted on his website before the meeting.

“I want to be clear that I only share passages from the Bible as a gesture of love.

“We pray that we might all find redemption and peace in the words of the lord Jesus Christ as we head to today’s mediation. We also ask that he watches over us, so that both parties might realise the courage to uphold the truth.”

But Castle said she had been sent messages and emails from the rugby community supporting the decision to sack Folau.

“That leaves us in no doubt that we are doing what’s right,” she said. “Israel’s commentary subsequent to his termination has only reinforced this belief.”

Castle said a tribunal found Folau had committed a high-level breach of his contract and he had refused to curb his social media use.

“Rugby Australia is confident in its legal position but we come here today with a genuine desire to find a settlement that is sensible and reasonable so that we can return all our focus and resources to growing the game of rugby across Australia,” she said.

Folau is a hardline Christian who also recently claimed fatal bushfires were God’s punishment for legalising abortion and same-sex marriage, sparking criticism from the prime minister, Scott Morrison.

Australian Culture, Values And Customs

Posted October 13, 2011, By Andrea Riddell

Many people, tourists, students and migrants alike, are drawn to the diverse and welcoming culture of Australia – a product of a rich, multicultural society. When planning to live, work, study or visit a diverse country such as Australia, being aware of the culture is extremely important to ensure you get the most out of your travel, while respecting the values of your host country.

With a unique landscape – as varied as the inhabitants – Australia has attracted a cultural bed of international students, travellers, workers and migrants. There are over 200 different languages and dialects, including 45 indigenous languages, spoken in Australia, with English the national language. In order to adapt to this tolerant and diverse society, you will need to be aware of some of the common social values and customs.

Australian Values Statement

Permanent visas and some temporary visas require you to read or be familiar with the government-provided book Life in Australia before you sign the Australian Values Statement. By signing this statement you are saying that you will respect and abide by the customs and laws of Australia. All visa applicants must sign this statement if they are 18 years old or over. If you refuse to sign the Values Statement, your visa application may be delayed or even declined.

The Australian values include:

• Respect for the equal worth, dignity and freedom of the individual

• Freedom of speech

• Freedom of association

• Freedom of religion and secular government

• Support for parliamentary democracy and the rule of law

• Equality under the law

• Equality of men and women

• Equality of opportunity, regardless of race, religion or ethnic background

• A spirit of egalitarianism that embraces mutual respect, tolerance, fair play, compassion for those in need and pursuit of the public good

Although these values are not exclusive to Australia, they are inherent to the Australian way of life and are ingrained in history. Australians believe in freedom bound by law. This means that although Australians are entitled to a number of fundamental freedoms, they have a civil duty to obey the law while taking advantage of them.

Indigenous community

The Aboriginal and Torres Strait people were the first inhabitants of Australia, and have lived in Australia for up to 60 000 years. Indigenous Australians have their own unique beliefs, traditions and reverence of the land. This can differ according to where they lived.

Aboriginals and Torres Strait Islanders are an important part of Australia’s history, culture and national identity, and have made valuable contributions across many fields, including the arts, media, business and sport. While Australia’s Indigenous history has been a turbulent journey, today the government is committed to improving equality, health, education and employment opportunities for all Indigenous communities.

Around 16 per cent of Australian land is owned or controlled by Indigenous people. This land, usually found in remote or regional areas, is linked to their culture and beliefs and is considered sacred. Some sacred sites have specific traditions or rules, so be aware of any cultural and social customs when you’re travelling.

City versus country

Australia has the lowest population density per square kilometre of any country, due to the large tracts of sparsely inhabited land in the interior. The outback – remote, inland areas – makes up a large part of Australia’s geography, history and identity. There are many employment opportunities in regional Australia. Living in a regional or rural area can allow you to experience a different side of the Australian way of life, and regional centres have strong cultural diversity and great support systems. They are also less expensive than the cities when it comes to cost of living.

Dress

Australian dress codes can differ according to situation and location. Workplaces usually have dress codes depending on what type of environment it is. Office jobs generally require you to dress neatly, cleanly and modestly, even if the dress code is ‘business casual’ or ‘smart casual’. Jobs that require labour or construction may have dress requirements such as steel-cap shoes and hard hats, to ensure safety.

In the general public, there are no laws or rules regarding clothing. Many people will dress to suit their style, express themselves, or for the weather or situation. During the warmer months, beaches can be a popular location for all Australians, and people tend to dress accordingly – think bathers, shorts and thongs.

Wearing your national dress for religious or customary purposes is also widely accepted in Australia.

Greetings and polite behaviour

It is polite in Australia to shake someone’s right hand when you meet him or her for the first time. This is also customary for business practices. Amongst close friends, it is becoming increasingly common to greet each other with a kiss on the cheek.

If you are talking with someone who you have met for the first time, it is polite not to talk about personal matters. It is also a social custom to look someone in the eye when you are talking to them, but staring at someone for a long period of time is considered rude.

Australians tend to be fairly informal in their everyday interactions and it is common practice to call someone by their first name only. You can address someone by their title and their family name, but this is considered unnecessary and overly formal for most situations. People do, however, tend to be more formal in business and professional situations.

It is also customary to use words like ‘please’, ‘thank you’, ‘sorry’ and ‘excuse me’ when talking with strangers as well as friends. These words are also commonly used when making purchases and in other business transactions.

Australians are famous for using a lot of slang, which can be unintelligible even to native English speakers from around the world. Here are some colourful examples of Aussie slang.

Celebrations/holidays

Australians celebrate a number of holidays and special events. Some recognised days hold national meaning or commemorate a past event and are remembered with a public holiday. Most states and territories celebrate public holidays on the same day. Small businesses may close on public holidays. Some of the main public holidays, apart from Christmas and Easter, include Australia Day and Anzac Day.

Australia Day is celebrated on 26 January and commemorates the arrival of the European settlers. It is a time to celebrate Australia as a united and strong nation. Australia Day is a time when many Australians get together with friends to go out or have a picnic or BBQ – and Australians do like any excuse to be festive!

Anzac Day is celebrated on 25 April and honours the day the Australian and New Zealand Army Corps (ANZAC) landed at Gallipoli during World War I in 1915. Today Anzac Day is a time to remember those who lost their lives fighting for Australia, not only in World War I but also in subsequent wars. Anzac Day is celebrated with marches and parades. A ceremony also takes places at the Australian War Memorial in Canberra.

Why can an outsider see us more clearly than we see ourselves?

Someone not weighed down with our history, not burdened by shame, guilt or anger, can wade through a torrent of words and reveal a simple, heartbreaking truth.

The American woman, white and middle-aged, approached me with her husband and hugged me tightly.

"You always have to bend to them," she said.

She had just seen the international premiere of The Australian Dream at the Telluride film festival, high in the mountains of Colorado.

The film — written by me and directed by British film maker Dan Gordon, another outsider with a piercing eye on Australia — is one of the handful of movies selected from thousands of entries.

I introduced the film to the audience in my language, Wiradjuri, likely the first time those words had ever been spoken on American soil. Like my language I wondered if the film would translate.

It is uniquely Australian, chronicling the booing of AFL player Adam Goodes. The football is of course, baffling to American eyes. Some of our colloquialisms, equally impenetrable.

But there are issues here beyond borders or sport: issues that are universal. Race, racism, the legacy of history, nationhood, justice and just what it is to be human.

I watch the audience looking for what resonates.

How 'must-see' became the kiss of death for Goodes doco

The Australian Dream is a film that's ahead of its time in many ways but, like Goodes, while its heart is in the right place the nation did not rise to meet it, writes Cameron Williams.

Read more

For two hours these Americans are taken on a journey into Australia's dark heart; a journey that reveals their own country too. There is barely a movement, or a whisper, just the occasional groan, a sigh of empathy or a nod of the head.

They watch as Adam Goodes, an Indigenous man and a former Australian of the Year, was subjected to what amounted to a tirade of racial abuse until he walked away from the game he loved and so dominated in ways few others have.

A voice for Black Australians

In the film Goodes — for the first time and in his words — takes us on his journey.

It is the story of a young boy raised by his Indigenous single mother as he chases his sporting dreams and explores the history of Australia. We see him struggle with a legacy of pain: invasion of Aboriginal lands stolen; massacres, people chained and forced into missions and reserves, and the ongoing poverty and trauma of Indigenous communities.

His mother reveals her own pain. How she was taken from her parents; torn from them. As a five-year-old girl stripped, scrubbed and her hair shorn as she cried for her mother she would never see again.

The history of the stolen generations — a history that includes members of my family — passes from mother to son.

It is Adam's history too.

Adam Goodes devoted his life to fighting racism.(ABC News: Simon Beardsell)

I have seen this film countless times from production to the big screen, but this time something touches me in a way it hasn't before. Another former AFL great, Nathan Buckley, says simply, Adam's body or desire for the game didn't give out: his heart was broken.

That's what I am watching on the screen, Australia breaks our hearts. America has broken the hearts of its Indigenous people too.

I know that's what is going through the minds of this audience.

In my introduction I paid respects to the Ute nation. These are the first people of this part of Colorado, forced off their land and onto reservations. A history just like our own.

Americans don't hear the voices of Native Americans, just as many Australians can pass through their lives without meeting or truly listening to an Indigenous person.

The Australian Dream film is the voices of Black Australians: Adam and his family, fellow footballers, Gilbert McAdam, Michael O'Loughlin, Nicky Winmar, athlete Nova Peris, politician Linda Burney. I can't take credit for this film, among my people our stories belong to us all.

Afterwards a Native American woman comes up to me, wraps me in her arms and says thank you. Then speaks to me in her language as I had spoken to her in mine. Language so different, but on this night needs no translation.

'You always have to bend to them'

The white woman and her husband have reminded me of something so true.

Adam Goodes bent towards White Australia. He devoted his life to reconciliation and fighting racism — and paid an enormous price.

Goodes speaks

The former Sydney Swans star says the booing saga that overshadowed the final years of his AFL career turned the football field into a place he hated.

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Once again we are seeing Indigenous Australia bend to White Australia. The Uluru Statement from the Heart asks all Australians to come on a journey with us to give the First People of our land a voice in the nation's constitution.

We bend, and it hurts. I can understand why some are tired of compromise, tired of bending. But my people — Wiradjuri people — have a saying "Yindyamarra Winanghanha": it is a philosophy that means to live respectfully in a world worth living in.

If my father and others like him bend, they bend from strength. From knowing who they are, and where they belong.

They bend knowing they will never move. They bend for our country, in the hope one day others will be ready to listen.

Being in America reminds me of what a great American, Martin Luther King Jnr, once said: "The moral arc of the universe is long, but it bends towards justice." It bends.

In a foreign country among strangers, a Wiradjuri man from Australia and a white American audience bent a little closer to each other.