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CN: words for genitals, hate crimes, bodily functions that involve primary and secondary sex characteristics.
Genitals are a tricky topic and for many can be an uncomfortable one. The way people talk about gender, and sex characteristics is often inaccurate and can be damaging to trans and intersex people or make them feel uncomfortable. For example, people often equate having a penis with being a man and having a vagina with being a woman. This is, of course, not always true.
Many non-binary people and trans women have penises, and many non-binary people and trans men have vaginas. At the same time, many trans men have penises and many trans women have vaginas. Many intersex people may have a vagina, a penis or some variation there upon. It’s no use assuming (or in fact busying yourself with) what’s in other people’s pants.
Some things you can do:
When you’re talking specifically about pregnancies, and you want to group the people who can get pregnant, the phrase ‘people who can get pregnant’ works. Wanna talk prostates? ‘People who have prostates’ has got you covered!
Some gay men love to joke about how disgusted they are by vaginas. In a world where society tells you you’re meant to have sex with women with vaginas (or if you’re a gay woman, with men with penises), this might feel fun and rebellious. However, it is also:
1. pretty negative about people’s bodies,
2. not necessarily accurate,
3. oh my god such a tired joke.
Don’t ask about people’s genitals. It’s incredibly intrusive, and can be even more so for people who might have a more complicated relationship with theirs. It really is none of your business.
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