Review the 4S Conversation questions. Print the cards, cut out each question, and then write Sparks, Strengths, Struggles, or Supports on the opposite side of each card.

You may say something like: “Let’s play a question game to get to know each other better. There are four categories of questions and each starts with the letter S: Sparks, Strengths, Struggles, and Supports. Sparks are talents, deep interests, and activities that you love doing. Strengths are skills, values, and other things about you that help you do well in life. Struggles are the things that you worry about or challenges you’ve experienced. Supports are things that help you get through struggles and succeed at things.” 

To make this activity feel more like a game, we recommend laying out the cards with each of the categories showing face-side up and the question side faced down. Each of you will take turns picking questions to ask each other. Be sure to let your Little know that they are welcome to pass if they don’t feel comfortable answering a question. You might say something like: “There are no right or wrong answers to any of these questions. These are just questions to help us get to know each other better. If there is ever a question that you don’t want to answer, it is okay to say ‘pass.’” 

You can choose to go through all of the questions, or you may decide to break it up over several mentoring sessions. 

Together, reflect on the process of sharing about your sparks, strengths, struggles, and supports. Reflection questions could include:

1. 1. What did you think of our conversation today? 

   2. Were some questions easier or harder than others to answer?

   3. Did you learn anything today that surprised you, either about yourself or me? 

   4.  What other questions might be fun to add to our list of questions?

You can return to these questions from time to time to go even deeper, especially as you continue building trust. 

When you have conversations that bring up struggles, be sure to brainstorm with your Little about ways these struggles can be resolved. Consider whether there are appropriate resources that you can connect your Little with to make sure they get the support they need.

• Discuss questions in an informal and warm way. The goal of the conversation is to get to know one another. You may remove any questions that you anticipate may be challenging for your Little to answer.

• Affirm your Little’s experiences by listening more than you talk, avoiding absolutes such as always and never, and affirming difficult circumstances while also maintaining hope.

• Depending on the conversation, sensitive topics may come up. Make sure you know what to do if something is reportable or referable.