Grief and Loss
Resource Page

Post Falls School District Elementary Counseling Program

Fact Sheets: GRIEVING CHILDREN

Information for Families About Grief What you may see at home. How to help your child

· Children grieve when they have a major loss in their lives

· The loss could be due to death or separation (i.e. divorce, jail, moving)

· Children grieve for people and also animals/pets.

· Everyone experiences grief in their own unique way

· Because children are often less able than adults to put their feelings into words, their grief is expressed through their behavior

· Children’s reactions will differ depending on their level of emotional development, their relationship to the loss, the information they receive concerning the loss and their past experiences with loss

· Shock/denial

· Sadness

· Lack of feelings

· Guilt

· Rebellion

· Sleep disturbance

· Appetite disturbance

· Fighting

· Withdrawal

· Poor concentration

· Attention seeking

· Change in peer interactions

· Physical complaints

· Preoccupation with the loss

· Regression

· Loss may be seen as temporary or like sleep

· Nightmares

· Blame self for loss

· Easily upset

· Excessive crying

· Clingy

· Bedwetting

· Temper outbursts

· Self harm

· Argues

· Play or drawings with a dark twist to them

· Increase in physical complaints

· Child may laugh and seem happy

· Allow child to express feelings. Say:

-Go ahead and cry, it takes courage to express your sadness.

-Would you like to talk about your tears?

-You don’t have to be strong for me.

-I know it will take time for you to feel better, I will help you as much as I can.

· Avoid saying:

-I know how you feel.

-It could be worse…

-Everything is going to be okay.

-But you still have….

· Keep your routine the same and predictable

· Be honest and don’t minimize the loss

· Allow child to attend memorial if wanted

· Find ways to remember the person/animal lost

· Observe your child’s behavior.

· Be involved with your child – listen to them

· Reassure them their feelings are normal

Additional Grief Resources

· Hospice of North Idaho – 208-772-7994 (support groups for grieving children)

· www.centerforloss.com (Grief books and other resources)