Grief and Loss
Resource Page

Post Falls School District Elementary Counseling Program

Fact Sheets: GRIEVING CHILDREN

 Information for Families About Grief What you may see at home. How to help your child

· Children grieve when they have a major loss in their lives 

· The loss could be due to death or separation (i.e. divorce, jail, moving) 

· Children grieve for people and also animals/pets.

· Everyone experiences grief in their own unique way

· Because children are often less able than adults to put their feelings into words, their grief is expressed through their behavior

· Children’s reactions will differ depending on their level of emotional development, their relationship to the loss, the information they receive concerning the loss and their past experiences with loss

·  Shock/denial

·  Sadness

·  Lack of feelings

·  Guilt

·  Rebellion

·  Sleep disturbance

·  Appetite disturbance

·  Fighting

·  Withdrawal

·  Poor concentration

·  Attention seeking

·  Change in peer interactions

·  Physical complaints

·  Preoccupation with the loss

·  Regression

·  Loss may be seen as temporary or like sleep

·  Nightmares

·  Blame self for loss

·  Easily upset

·  Excessive crying

·  Clingy

·  Bedwetting

·  Temper outbursts

·  Self harm

·  Argues

·  Play or drawings with a dark twist to them

·  Increase in physical complaints

·  Child may laugh and seem happy

·  Allow child to express feelings.  Say:

-Go ahead and cry, it takes courage to express your sadness.

-Would you like to talk about your tears?

-You don’t have to be strong for me.

-I know it will take time for you to feel better, I will help you as much as I can.

·  Avoid saying:

-I know how you feel.

-It could be worse…

-Everything is going to be okay.

-But you still have….

·  Keep your routine the same and predictable

·  Be honest and don’t minimize the loss

·  Allow child to attend memorial if wanted

·  Find ways to remember the person/animal lost

·  Observe your child’s behavior.

·  Be involved with your child – listen to them

·  Reassure them their feelings are normal

Additional Grief Resources

·  Hospice of North Idaho – 208-772-7994 (support groups for grieving children)

·  www.centerforloss.com (Grief books and other resources)