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Supporting Children during the Holidays
Supporting Children during the Holidays
The holiday season can be magical, but also overwhelming. Sometimes for children, changes in routine, sensory overload, and social expectations can be challenging. Here are ten practical tips to help your family navigate the holidays with more ease and joy:
Stick to Routines When Possible
• Maintain regular sleep, meal, and activity schedules.
• If changes are coming, prepare your child with visual schedules or social stories.
Use Visual Supports
• Calendars, countdowns, and picture guides can help your child understand what to expect from visiting relatives to opening gifts.
Practice Holiday Scenarios
• Role-play greetings, gift exchanges, and mealtime behaviors.
• Preview new places with photos or videos to reduce anxiety.
Create Sensory-Safe Spaces
• Designate a quiet retreat area with comfort items like headphones, weighted blankets, or favorite toys.
Choose Comfortable Clothing
• Let your child pick festive outfits that feel good and suit the occasion—comfort matters more than style.
Plan for Food Preferences
• Bring familiar snacks and communicate dietary needs to hosts ahead of time.
Set Realistic Expectations
• Limit events or guests if needed.
• Be flexible and prioritize your child’s comfort over rigid plans.
Communicate with Others
• Share helpful tips with family and friends like not expecting hugs or eye contact to foster understanding.
Celebrate Your Way
• Adapt traditions to suit your child. Quiet, simple celebrations can be just as meaningful.
Reflect and Adjust
• After each event, talk about what worked and what didn’t.
• Use this insight to shape future plans.
Talking with Those You Love
Talking with Those You Love
By Courtney McRoberts
It is encouraged to intentionally foster communication with your kids, family, and loved ones. A great conversation allows you to learn a lot about a person like how they feel about certain things, what they are struggling with, and how you can best support them. By facilitating quality communication–we are able to love those around us well. As we live in a society that incorporates screens and technology in our daily lives, unfortunately, it can be extremely easy to miss out on these connections. Conversation does not have to be difficult, sometimes it just requires a good question!
What makes a question good?
Try avoiding questions that can be answered with one or two words. For example, “Was school good today?” has the potential to end in a simple, “yes.” Instead ask, “What was the best part of your day?” A good question stems from a genuine curiosity and desire to hear the person's response. Listening to a person without trying to rehearse your response is important. Be curious about what they have to say and nonjudgementally hear what it is they are communicating. Additionally, a good question is short and clear. Avoid asking questions after a long-drawn out dialogue or asking several questions in a row. Be patient and allow the person time to respond–afterall–good questions may not be easy to answer quickly!
Examples of Questions that May Spark a Good Conversation:
What’s the hardest part of your life right now?
What helps you feel better when you’re upset or stressed?
What was something that made you laugh today?
What part of the day do you look forward to?
Do you have any friends you’re worried about right now? (This one is a yes/no answer however, it may be an excellent question to ask teenagers!)
How do you feel about the number of friends you have?
What is something you wish I would do more often?
How would you change the world if you could?
What do you think I would change about you?
After eliciting a conversation with a quality question, remember to listen. Sometimes the answers to these questions may not be what you desire to hear, and that is okay. The information you gain from hearing these responses may guide you to make helpful changes in the way you show up in someone's life. Try your hardest to thank them for sharing without lecturing or expressing frustrations. Following up answers with phrases like “tell me more about that” and “I am curious why you say that” will help the conversation continue! Responding with curiosity and without judgement will allow them to feel more comfortable talking about deep topics with you in the future!
Keep these tips in mind as you make connections with others today!
Book Review: The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt
This year I read the book, “The Anxious Generation” by Jonathan Haidt, that was both insightful and informative. I want to share the valuable insights and practical takeaways from the book. Some of the information below is direct quotes from the book.
In his book, Mr. Haidt discusses the relationship between smartphones and social media and childhood mental health. In his book, he describes two distinct crises we are facing as a result - digital under-parenting (giving kids unlimited and unsupervised access to devices and social media) and real-world over-parenting (protecting kids from every possible harm in the real world). The result is young people who are suffering from addiction-like behaviors and poor mental health.
Mr. Haidt provides a handful of recommendations to parents:
1. No smartphones before high school. Parents should delay 24/7 access to the internet before 9th grade. He recommends giving only a basic phone with no internet browser to children not in high school. This phone should be monitored daily by the parents themselves in addition to having parental controls installed.
2. No social media before age 16. Let kids get through the most vulnerable period of brain development without constant review from others.
3. Phone-free schools. I love that we do this in our schools already!
4. Far more unsupervised play and childhood independence. This is the way children naturally develop social skills, overcome anxiety, and develop self-governing skills. Well intended parents who try to raise their children in a bubble of satisfaction, protected from frustration, consequences, and negative emotions, may be harming their children. They may be blocking the development of competence, self-control, frustration tolerance, and emotional self-management. Several studies find that such helicopter parenting is correlated with later anxiety disorders and low self-efficacy. It is best if children and young adolescents get a lot of experience by doing things together or with adults in their real world community, rather than alone watching video games, playing mobile games, or reading posts from people online. He recommends:
a. Practice letting your kids out of your sight without having a way to reach you. For example, going to the store to get food. Reference the LetGrow.org program.
b. Encourage sleepovers and don’t micromanage them. If a friend brings a phone, hold on to it until they leave.
c. Encourage walking to school in a group. If the school is too far to walk or ride a bicycle, consider “drive to five” and drop the kids off with other kids at a spot that is five minutes away from school.
d. After school is for free play. Try not to fill up most afternoons with adult-supervised “enrichment” activities. Join a play club or going to each other’s homes after school. Friday is a particularly good day for free play because child can then make plans to meet up over the weekend.
e. Go Camping. At campgrounds, kids are usually way more free range than at home.
f. Find a sleepaway camp with no devices. Avoid camps that are essentially summer school with academic work and internet access or camps that do not provide children with communal responsibilities.
g. Form child friendly neighborhoods and play areas.
Screen Time Recommendations for kids 6 to 13 years old –
1. As a general rule no more than two hours per day is recommended for screen based recreational activities. For younger children the content should be educational and should be used in common areas.
2. Learn how to use parental controls and content filters on all digital devices in your home. You want your children to become self-governing and self-controlled with no parental controls and monitoring by the time they reach age 18. Do not count on these to work all time. You should also be checking the devices for accurate filtering and monitoring. As a counselor, I have heard countless stories of parental controls not working or older children figuring out how to get around them.
3. Focus more on maximizing in person activity and sleep rather than on the total screen hours. The main harm done by most screen activities is the opportunity cost, which directly drives two foundational harms -social deprivation and sleep deprivation. If your children are spending a lot of time in person with friends, such as on sports teams or in unstructured play, and if they are getting plenty of sleep, and if they show no signs of addiction or problematic use on any devices, then you may be able to loosen up on the time limit. For example, playing video games with a friend in person and in moderation is better than playing alone in one's room.
4. Shared meals should be phone free. Having a regular family movie night would be good.
5. Delay the opening of social media accounts until age 16. This doesn't mean they can never see any content from these sites, as long as they get to a web browser they'll get to the platforms. But there's a difference between viewing tick tock videos on a browser and opening an account on TikTok. Opening an account is a major step in which adolescents provide personal data to the platform, but themselves into the stream from the content designed to engage, begin to post themselves.
6. Talk with your preteen about the risks and listen to their thoughts.
Recommendations for teens 13 to 18 years old -
1. Increase their mobility. Encourage them to get their driver's license as soon as they are eligible.
2. Relying more on your teen at home. Teams can cook clean and run errands.
3. Encourage your team to find a part time job.
4. Find ways for the to nurture and lead. Any job that requires caring for younger children and guiding, such as a babysitter camp counselor or coach.
5. Consider a high school exchange program.
6. Bigger thrills in nature. Let your teens go on bigger longer adventures with their friends or a group like backpacking rock climbing canoeing or hiking. Consider programs that run a month or longer with organizations such as outward bound and national outdoor leadership school.
7. Take a gap year after high school.
Back to School Tips
Hello! My name is Dr. Wanda Miller and I am the Director of Mental Health Services for Springfield Catholic Schools, We provide individual counseling and classroom education about mental health. If you are interested in receiving counseling or any resources for your child at school or have any questions about services, please reach out to me at wmiller@scspk12.org. Below I have included some back to school tips.
It’s that exciting time of year again when summer vacation draws to a close and a new school year emerges. A new school year equals a fresh start. The transition back to class as summer ends can be a stressful time for children and parents alike. Parents may notice their children exhibiting some nervousness about new routines, schoolwork, or social interactions. Usually this is a normal part of back-to-school jitters that gradually diminish over a few weeks. Creating a plan and routine will set your child up for a bright and positive school year. Here are some tips for having a successful school year:
1. Set a daily routine
Daily routines can help children understand what they need to do, when to do it each day and why it's important. To help prepare your child for their first day of school, get them into a routine which includes going to bed early, waking up at a certain time and eating a healthy breakfast. You can start establishing your child’s new sleep routine at least two weeks before the start of the school year for a smoother transition. According to the Sleep Foundation, children who don’t get enough sleep can have a difficult time learning. Before your child starts school, make sure you talk to them about what to expect. Remember to be flexible, as it may take some time for them to understand their new routine and adjust comfortably.
2. Plan Healthy Meals and Snacks
A nutritious lunch can act as brain fuel for your child during the school day. You can plan out a weekly or monthly meal schedule. You can also simply compile a list of options by food groups, so you can pick and choose as you go. Prepare healthy and delicious lunches you know that your kids will love.
One of the things that I do every year to prepare for the busy school year is having a freezer meal day. I spend a whole day cooking my family’s favorite meals and then popping them into the freezer so they are ready to eat on some of those busy school days.
3. Family Dinners
Speaking of dinners, weekday dinners are a great opportunity for the family to gather around the table and catch up on each other’s day. Make these dinners a routine and have your children share what they learned at school that day.
4. Ask your Kids about their Concerns
Make sure you take some time to discuss what your kids are looking forward to and worried about this year. Going back to school can bring up mixed emotions, and anxiety can manifest in numerous ways; from nightmares and difficulty sleeping to “tummy aches” or a sudden renewed interest in a security blanket. Even children who have never experienced anxiety or separation troubles in the past, can struggle at the start of the school year. Sometimes just talking about it can help alleviate some of the stress. Talk about some of the things they can do to handle different types of situations.
I am a big fan of the book “The Invisible String” by Patrice Karst. It helps children deal with feelings of separation and loss.
5. One on One time
Include some special 1:1 time with your child before school starts. This can be a special time to talk, cuddle, listen to a favorite song – whatever your child wants to do, or just be together.
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