One thing that jumps out to me from the 12th Renaissance in Abelard and Heloise was the philosophical discussions of morality and stereotypes. In Abelard and Heloise, Abelard constantly questions himself, his life, and his connection with education/God. For one, the increase in education, specifically that in academia, we can see through Abelard. Although Heloise was educated, Abelard was her tutor and found intelligence attractive in her. I think because education (in college) was more valued and normal in this period of reform, you can see how even things like attractiveness are changing due to that.
Abelard battles with morality and his life's actions throughout most of the letter to his friend. The whole purpose of the letter was to explain how his life was worse off than his friends because of all the things that have happened to him. He also goes into how he doesn't feel like a man anymore and can't be with Heloise anymore because he got castrated. These feelings could be debated and questioned due to the cause of his castration. Like that was a punishment for having premarital sex, so do you have a right to complain or do you have to live with it? Is it morally right/wrong? How does God and religion play a part in this, especially since he devoted his life to Christ afterward? There are so many ways to deconstruct his conversation morally and theologically with his friend. In the 12th century, they spent much time arguing over laws, morality, and situations in the church and state to come to agreements/solutions to the problem. There was a contrast between scientific and theological arguments, which I think Abelard explores. Abelard explores these questions in his Sic et Non, which some we can see in his letters to Heloise.
I think one thing that was also very interesting was their conversion into the church and becoming monks/nuns because they couldn't be together without suspicion and because of the castration. I think during this time it was normal to join the church as a profession. Nuns/monks were allowed education, safety, etc., so it feels like a good solution to some problems. But in this case, there is a conflicting sense of love of another person and devotion to God (and celibacy).
One thing I noticed was the continuation of the "epic" story line, specifically through battle, heroes, and representations of a culture/nation. The Song of the Cid follows Rodrigo Diaz, the Cid, who goes through battle in honor of his king. While his battle and journey represents the "epic" story line, it also goes along with our understanding of honor and loyalty to country (or king). The Song of Roland also follows the storyline through "epic", where the Battle of Roncevaux Pass takes place. Following Charlemagne and Roland and their Christian militia during their battles against the Muslim armies. In this "epic", the understanding of loyalty, honor, and religion. In both epics, there is a very blurred line when speaking of how honor and battle translate into loyalty for your religion. This also related to identity at the time. Both protagonists gained honor and loyalty through their devotion to their king (country), specifically through their religion and culture of the time.
Another small similarity is the hospitality that is shown, even to said 'enemies'. Charlemagne welcomed guests with hospitality and in return, they offered him riches. While the Cid was denied hospitality in the beginning of the poem due to a decree telling citizens they would be punished for helping him, he then experienced the hospitality after his honor was gained back again through battle.
It is interesting to see the valued traits that are expected for different periods of time and cultures, specifically in the transitions of religion. Going from the Roman values of pietas (God, country, father), we have now seen a shift into warriors, loyalty, religion, honor, devotion to king, and hospitality. Some are the same, but they have changed or shifted to represent different things (specifically religion).
Why did the Romans hate Carthage so much, outside of the power dynamic within rivaling empires, and why did Aeneas come into the city if he knew about this rivalry/hatred?
In Aeneid we see how Aeneas feels about Carthage and now we understand a little about the tensions and relationship between the Romans and the city of Carthage through Cicero.
To answer the first part of the question, it seems that the Romans didn't like them just because they were rivals to them, but there definitely has to be more than that. It feels like this hatred it way more than a rivalry in land ownership. It was known that Carthage had good trade route systems, but this was also the case for Egypt and their canals, and the Romans didn't have this same hatred for Cleopatra's empire as they do for Carthage.
From knowing some of the Roman values seen in Cicero and the 12 Tables, women are NOT to be in places of power. I think the issue isn't just rivalry of land, but over sexism. It seems the Romans were highly against the idea of a woman running an empire. The Romans couldn't process how Carthage was a large, successful empire that was run by a woman. However, this also could make sense for Cleopatra. She was a woman and ran her empire very well. So, it may not be just this either.
Upon further research, it seems that the narratives are to support the Romans in their defeat of Carthage. They write a negative connotation of Carthage and it's ruler. It is hard to find a direct answer to why they hated Carthage so much, when there are other examples of empires that were similar to Carthage at the time.
In response to the second question, it's hard to understand why Aeneas decided to stay, and wanted to continue to stay, when he was a Roman. He knew about this rivalry and still decided to stay with Dido. If he was so "loyal" to his homeland of Troy, then why was he even okay with coming in the doors of Carthage? Shouldn't he hate Carthage and try to wreck havoc on them? I'm not sure if love was a factor, since Dido was basically bewitched, but it is hard to understand why Aeneas would stay in a place that his homeland hates, especially when he tries to portray himself as being a "true Trojan!" Did his homeland pride escape him in the name of love? hospitality? desperation?