"God Wastes Nothing"

Felicia Ramos, a busy mother of nine, is an alumna of SAGU. In 2006, Felicia received her bachelor’s degree in Church Ministry with a missions focus. She went on to receive her master’s degree in Organizational Leadership in 2013. Along with a friend, she helped to create a non-profit organization called Shared Beginnings. She served on the Executive Board before stepping down to work as a Director of Care.

On October 8, 2019, there was an FBI sting that uncovered a human trafficking/adoption scandal that was operating across three states. That very next day, Shared Beginnings became a beacon of hope for 19 exploited Marshallese women who found themselves homeless, pregnant, and penniless.

Below is an interview that our Memoir Editor, Jennifer Garrison, conducted.

J: Can you tell me a little about yourself and what you have gone through in your life? How has this prepared you for this calling?

I was actually born and raised in Lordsburg, New Mexico which is a very small border town at the very bottom of New Mexico. I came from a very, very broken family. My mom left me when I was in the third grade. She disappeared for years, leaving us with our abusive father. He ended up going to prison after my sister and I disclosed abuse when I was 14. At that point, it was a pretty big ordeal in our little town. It was on the front pages of the newspapers because it was some pretty horrific stuff.

It was at that point a few girls invited me to youth group. I didn’t know anything about God. In fact, I thought, If there is a God, why hasn’t He come to help us? But my friends invited me to youth group…and I never left. It was there, at an Assemblies of God church, that I was introduced to Christ. Everything that I had needed was answered when I heard the gospel. It was pretty radical! I ended up starting a Bible study at my school and getting everybody, like 90% of my high school, coming to Bible study and youth group because they had seen this dramatic change in my life.

The pastor and his wife ended up taking me in and informally adopting me because my mom didn’t want me. I was always at church, and they would give me rides home because I never wanted to go home. At that point, when they took me in, they became my stability and I ended up graduating high school. They took me to Southwestern to do a couple of tours because I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to practice social work or be a missionary. I fell in love with Southwestern, and that was in 2001, but they didn’t have a social work program. So, I did everything! You know, studied it all! (laughs) Then I finally graduated with a degree in Church Ministry with a Missions Focus.

At that point, I went to Africa from May 2006 through August 2006 and came back realizing I needed to go to graduate school because I could teach the Bible, but I needed to know how to help people find housing and be able to address mental health issues. So, I started my master’s in social work. In the middle of that, I started dating somebody… It was apparent that I had not dealt with some of my childhood trauma because I got into a really unhealthy relationship. I ended up getting pregnant and leaving him when I was five months pregnant. Then I was a single mom for two years who was also practicing social work. At the same time, I was trying to navigate “What does this mean?” for my own life. I went from preaching in churches to sobbing and saying, “How did we get here?” It was a very humbling experience.

So I was single for two and a half years when my best friend, who was going to CFNI at the time, had met somebody and asked me to do an interview with him “to see if there is anything wrong.” He ended up being “clean as a whistle,” loved the Lord, and had great references. Later he ended up saying, “I have a friend. He’s a single dad with 5 kids.” I said,

“Whatever. You guys live in Dallas, and I live in New Mexico, but you can give him my number.”

So my husband and I met on a blind date on July 26, 2010 and got married November 11 that same year. He had five kids, and I had one. We went from our single lives to blending our families, which was absolutely crazy. I never thought I would do anything like that, but he is a believer. My best friend ended up marrying his best friend… so, best friends married best friends. This year will be our ten-year anniversary.

In that process of getting married, we got custody of all of his kids and moved to New Mexico for two years. Then almost eight years ago, we moved to Arkansas. In the middle of all this, in 2014, my daughter Nadia (now 15) began having really bad seizures. I left my job to become her primary caretaker because she was in and out of the hospital. It was horrific. They still have not been able to find the cause of it.

Through all this, my husband was our primary breadwinner, but in the fall of 2016, Tele fell 14 feet and crushed everything in his body from the knees on down. He is then is in a wheelchair because he cannot walk. We had no income, we had a daughter who was sick, and the other kids were just trying to survive.

It was absolutely insane, but the Lord provided for us without jobs. We survived. We lost nothing. In fact, we had what we called “progressive Christmas” because people came out of the woodwork and blessed our family. It was people that along the way I had helped…people who I had trained as foster parents and different community members that knew my story. I had been asked to share my story of “coming from nothing and working my way to the top” in terms of education and positions within the community and raising all these kids. More than anything, I want my life to reflect that there is a God who has given me purpose.

With all this going on, how did you get involved in the work at Shared Beginnings?

I think along the way people get distracted from what God has called them to do because life happens. And I would sob and say, “God I have this little girl who is sick, my husband can’t walk, and I went to school for 10 years, and I can’t even do that.” So that, was very humbling.

Fast-forward to 2018. We had learned how to manage Nadia’s care and realized my husband was never going to be able to return to work. At the same time, I had a friend approach me with an idea for a nonprofit and asked if I would consider joining it. I said, “Well, you know I am very critical about nonprofits starting because everybody wants to help, but nobody wants to do the work because it’s hard.”

My friend had adopted two little Marshallese boys, and their birth mom had never been given support. That intrigued me and I asked, “What do you mean she was never given support?”

So, I ended up joining the Executive Board in 2018.

The first mom that came to Shared Beginnings was a hot mess, and we needed someone who had a social work background who could really work with her. I jumped in, willing to volunteer. Then we had another mom who came in, and the same thing happened. At that point I was like, “It’s 2019. I can leave the board and you can hire me.” I could only work eight hours a week at that point.

I began working with each mom and became the Director of Care. We had heard some discussion that the FBI was investigating all the attorneys that were involved with these adoptions because something was not adding up. So I was working with all of that, but I had my home life, too. We struggled financially because I was only working 8 hours-a-week. But the Lord provided.

Can you briefly talk about the case and your involvement with it?

It is illegal for Marshallese women to travel to the United States for the purpose of adoption.

Arizona Department of Public Safety

Homeland Security Investigations

Utah Attorney General’s Office

U.S. District Court for western Arkansas

The above all had concerns that Paul Peterson was bringing pregnant women to the USA (Arizona, Arkansas, Utah) for the sole purpose of placing their children for adoption.

The Marshall Islands' Adoptions Act of 2002 only allows international adoptions if those adoptions are granted by the Republic of the Marshall Islands High Court, the statement says. The court has "original and exclusive jurisdiction to grant adoption of Marshallese children,"

The women didn’t understand the adoption process and were then left abandoned after the arrest of Mr. Peterson. Mr. Peterson was paid by adoptive parents 35-40k for a baby.

These moms were promised 7,500 after the baby was adopted. In an adoption expectant moms can receive financial assistance for housing, basic needs, and transportation. It was estimated that Mr. Peterson was doing 30-35 adoptions a year.

October hit, and Mr. Petersen was arrested. I was then subpoenaed to go to court and give my recommendation on whether or not our office could provide care for all of these mothers. At that point, our nonprofit didn’t have the money to hire me full time, but I told them “Look, I’ll bill you for the 8 hours a week, but I am going to be here 40 because it would be a disservice if I didn’t show up and serve.”

From that point on, I literally worked every day from Oct. 8, 2019 until Jan. 6, 2020.

How were you handling everything?

At the moment in time, one of our moms was scheduled at the hospital to have her baby, and while I was there, I started feeling sick and also bleeding heavily. I thought it was because I had been working so much and tried to justify being exhausted, but on January 6, my husband took me to the ER, and they ran tests. I had an emergency surgery, and the next morning, they called and said, “You have uterine cancer.” Also, on the 6^th I was given the salary position that I had worked so hard for. I asked God, “What in the world? We are finally going to be stable. The day I get my salary position…like… I have cancer…are you kidding me?” I had to do another emergency surgery the following Tuesday. A weekend of awaiting the unknown and wondering what would happen if they opened me up and found my body was full of cancer.

On Tuesday, they went in and did a complete hysterectomy. Of course, we had everyone praying. I had determined, “God, you’re not done with me. I’m not going to die. This is going to stink that I’m going to have to go through this, but you’re not done with me.”

All of the moms that we work with at our office were just sobbing because they were like,

“You can’t die.” And I replied,

“But if I do, where is your heart?”

I really took that time to share with people about how to handle life’s issues. I chose to point others to God and chose not to be angry, but I mean it was hard. So, there were these moments where I sat with God saying, “I know your goodness. I know that you are more than enough. I know that you have called me to serve.”

When I went into surgery, I prayed for two things. There had been a family that had been wanting a baby that had been matched, but it was a failed match. It was really heartbreaking, and I had grown to love this family. I prayed,

“God send Kelly a baby and heal me so I can continue to do this work.”

I kid you not: the day I went in for surgery, this sweet momma went in and chose Kelly and her husband. I didn’t know this until I woke up later that evening, and no one knew that I had prayed that. When I woke up, and I felt different. I don’t know how to explain this. I just knew that I did not have an ounce of cancer left, which was pretty unlikely considering all that I had gone through. The doctor called me the following Tuesday and told me,

“There’s no cancer. You’re good.” I just sobbed.

Why do you do what you do?

In this process, the Lord has been just doing a good work in me. I don’t know how to explain it other than God is my healer. He is my provider. He is all those things and I bounced back from cancer. I am engaged in doing what I love and what He has called me to do. I can’t even put it into words. I had cancer, and I could’ve died…. I think sometimes people kind of minimize that God is still healer.

I think especially in this time of pandemic, everyone is discouraged, and I walked into it with “God, I have no fear because you have provided from the time that I was little. You saved me in those 14 years and protected me. You gave me insight, so that I can do my job well.”

I am able to connect with people in ways that a lot of social workers are not. It’s because of those experiences and the fact that God doesn’t waste any of that. You know, I was a single mom for two and half years, and I’m able to connect with these moms that come in and carry that burden and can say, “I get it and we’re here to help you choose life.” I’m able to sit across from people who are choosing adoption to say, “Look I was adopted. Look at my life. Someone opened up their home to me and now I’m able to help others.” In 2020, I got to take a step back and see the wonder of our God! That from the time I was in my mom’s womb, God created me for this purpose. He knew there would be a crisis that would need somebody to advocate for these women. Someone who wouldn’t be afraid to call out the nonsense that has happened and be able to walk alongside these ladies. And I still have all the things going on with my daughter and my husband, and I can’t do all this myself. But it is God who can.

What is your hope and desire in serving these women?

My hope is that though they’ve experienced heartache, through Mr. Petersen exploiting their vulnerability and using them for his gain, I want them to know and experience the goodness of God. He has not called them to be victims… He values them. To know they are worthy of love, respect, kindness, and to be treated as human beings. To know that the Lord calls them beautiful because so many have just been broken. I want them to know God is for them and He is with them. He has sent help and we are there to serve them and to be the front lines advocating for them. When they can’t speak, we will be their voice. If nothing else, for them to know God and to make Him known.

Why should the topic of human trafficking be important to the church and Christians today?

First and foremost, at the other end there are people who are wanting to adopt a child, and they are going through agencies that are not ethical. The Church becomes part of human trafficking when Christians adopt from these unethical agencies and are not doing their due diligence. Some are paying $40,000 for a baby and not asking the tough questions like: “Is the birth mom given choice? Where did this mom come from? How did you get connected with her?” Because all of Mr. Petersen’s clients were believers, and none of them were asking questions. I think, “Are you kidding me?” If the Church doesn’t address it and lift that standard of holding adoption agencies and attorneys accountable, then they are part of the reason why these women are being exploited.

What are some resources available?

Feel free to contact us at Shared Beginnings if you have any questions. We have resources available.

https://sharedbeginnings.org/

https://sharedbeginnings.org/donate/