Life is full of curveballs. From forgotten passwords to group project drama, to figuring out how to study for a class that just doesn't click—our kids are constantly facing problems, big and small. And while we often want to fix things for them, what they really need are the tools to figure things out for themselves.
That’s where problem solving comes in.
Problem solving isn’t just a school skill—it’s a life skill. One that, when taught and encouraged early, can help our children grow into resilient, capable, and confident young adults.
At its core, problem solving is the ability to:
Explore an issue
Analyze information
Weigh different solutions
And ultimately, choose the best path forward—even when the situation is messy or unclear
It’s not just about getting the “right answer.” It’s about knowing how to think, not just what to think. It involves higher-order thinking skills like:
Comparing and contrasting
Inferring and deducing
Thinking creatively and logically
In school, students might solve math problems or write essays where the task is clear. But outside of school? The problems are often murkier—like how to manage time, deal with conflict, or overcome a setback.
Helping our children grow as problem solvers equips them to handle these real-world challenges with confidence.
According to Think A+ (n.d.), becoming a skilled problem solver isn’t just about thinking skills—it’s also about character. Here are four key traits parents can help nurture:
1. Persistence
This is the ability to stick with a problem even when the first (or second or third) attempt doesn’t work.
✅ Example: Your child doesn’t understand a homework question. Instead of giving up, they reread directions, use their notes, or look for a similar example.
2. Self-Control
Strong problem solvers don’t act impulsively. They pause, consider options, and think before jumping to conclusions.
✅ Example: Instead of rushing through an assignment to get it over with, they double-check their work or ask clarifying questions.
3. Grit
Grit is that inner drive to keep going—even when things are tough. It’s passion and perseverance toward long-term goals.
✅ Example: A student studying for a major exam doesn't quit, even if it means extra review sessions or making up for earlier mistakes.
4. Optimism
Problem solvers believe they can figure things out. This belief motivates them to keep trying.
✅ Example: When a group project falls apart, your child doesn’t panic—they focus on what they can do and take action.
One of the biggest misconceptions is that kids will just “pick up” problem solving as they go.
But in reality, these skills:
Don’t develop naturally
Don’t always transfer across subjects or settings
Need to be explicitly taught, modeled, and reinforced
Problem solving takes a lot of mental energy. It’s not easy for anyone—especially students who may not yet be aware of their own thinking processes (which is where metacognition comes in, too!).
That’s why our support matters so much.
Here are some ways to support your child’s problem-solving development without stepping in to rescue them:
🧠 1. Talk Through Your Own Problem-Solving
Model how you tackle challenges, even everyday ones.
“Hmm, the printer isn’t working. Let me check the connection first, then try restarting it. If that doesn’t work, I’ll look up a fix online.”
❓ 2. Ask Guiding Questions
Prompt your child to think through next steps:
“What’s the problem you’re trying to solve?”
“What have you already tried?”
“What’s something else you could do?”
“What’s the goal here—and how could you get closer to it?”
🧩 3. Resist Solving It for Them (Even When You Can)
If your child forgot their homework or didn’t study for a quiz, resist the urge to jump in with a fix. Instead:
“That’s frustrating. What’s your plan to avoid that next time?”
This helps build ownership and accountability.
✏️ 4. Celebrate Effort, Not Just Results
Praise persistence and creative thinking, even if the outcome wasn’t perfect.
“I liked how you tried two different ways to solve that. That’s real problem solving.”
When students grow in their ability to solve problems, they:
Become stronger students
Handle stress more effectively
Gain confidence in their own decision-making
Learn how to advocate for themselves
Build independence that lasts well beyond high school
And while it may take patience to step back instead of stepping in, the reward is watching your child grow into someone who can handle life’s messier moments—with calm, courage, and a plan.
The Parent Perspective is here to support you on that journey. Let’s raise not just achievers, but thinkers—the kind who are ready for the world, no matter what it throws at them.