Picture this: Your child hits a wall with their homework, a group project, or a conflict with a friend. They turn to you and say, “What do I do?” Your first instinct may be to step in, give them a clear answer, or fix it. It’s understandable—no one wants to see their child stuck or stressed.
But what if the best support you can give isn’t an answer—but a question?
What if the long-term goal isn’t solving this problem for them—but helping them become the kind of person who can solve any problem?
Problem solving is more than figuring out how to complete a math problem or write an essay. It’s a mental process that calls on a wide range of thinking skills: comparing, analyzing, inferring, evaluating, and applying logic. It’s about wrestling with a challenge—one that often has no clear right answer—and learning how to navigate toward a solution that works.
And in the real world, the problems kids face won’t always come with step-by-step directions.
From navigating tough social dynamics to managing time during midterms to planning for life after graduation, problem solving is one of the most critical skills a child can build. And it’s one of the clearest indicators of their future independence and resilience.
Our world is complex and fast-changing. The ability to follow instructions is useful—but it’s not enough. Today’s students need to learn how to:
Tackle new challenges
Adapt when things don’t go as planned
Think critically under pressure
Make decisions in unfamiliar situations
And that kind of mental flexibility doesn’t come naturally—it must be nurtured.
According to experts (Think A Plus, n.d.), students who excel at problem solving share four powerful traits—traits that parents can help develop at home, one small moment at a time:
When one strategy doesn’t work, persistent students don’t give up. They try something new.
👀 Try saying:
“What’s another way you could approach this?”
“What’s something else you haven’t tried yet?”
Rather than acting impulsively, strong problem solvers pause, think, and act deliberately.
👀 Try modeling:
“I’m feeling frustrated, so I’m going to take a breath before I respond.”
“Before I hit send, I’ll reread this email to make sure it says what I mean.”
Grit is about perseverance toward long-term, meaningful goals—even when the road is bumpy.
👀 Try asking:
“What’s your end goal here? What small steps will get you closer to it?”
“What’s helped you push through in the past?”
Confident problem solvers believe they can handle problems—even when things are hard.
👀 Try encouraging:
“You’ve gotten through tough stuff before—you’ve got this.”
“What strengths do you have that will help you here?”
Some students seem to “figure things out” on their own—but the truth is, problem-solving skills must be taught. They are not automatic. Without guidance, many students:
Freeze when faced with a challenge
Default to asking for help too quickly
Rely on others (parents, teachers, Google) to do the thinking for them
In other words, kids can’t practice problem solving if we keep solving their problems.
Here’s the good news: you don’t need to step away completely—you just need to shift from fixer to coach. Here’s how:
Instead of:
❌ “Just email the teacher and ask for extra credit.”
Try:
✅ “What’s your plan to turn this around? How will you approach your teacher?”
Instead of:
❌ “You should make a to-do list.”
Try:
✅ “What would help you organize everything you need to do?”
This helps your child develop their own roadmap—one they can follow long after you’re not by their side.
Problem solving is messy. It takes time. Don’t rush in the moment your child looks stuck.
Instead of offering a quick fix, allow them space to wrestle with the issue.
“This looks tricky. I’ll give you a minute to think it through. I’m here if you want to talk through it.”
Even if the final answer is wrong, celebrate the effort, the thinking, the strategy.
“I love how you kept trying different ways to solve that.”
“That was smart to go back and double-check your work.”
This builds confidence in their ability to problem-solve—not just their ability to “get it right.”
You face problems every day—and your child learns from how you handle them.
“The car wouldn’t start this morning, so I had to think through a backup plan. First, I checked the battery, then called for a jump. I’m glad I didn’t panic.”
This shows kids that even adults don’t always have immediate answers—and that’s okay.
Will it be uncomfortable at times to let your child struggle? Absolutely.
But you’re not abandoning them—you’re empowering them. And the payoff is enormous.
When we help kids learn how to think through problems, manage frustration, and adjust their strategies, we give them a toolkit they’ll carry for the rest of their lives.
They’ll become the students who take ownership of their learning.
They’ll become the adults who can lead, adapt, and thrive.
And they’ll become the people who don’t just wait for the solution—they create it.
The Parent Perspective is here to support you in raising independent, resilient, and thoughtful problem solvers. The work starts now—and you’re not doing it alone.