Compass of Shame
When individuals commit acts of harm or wrongdoing, they often experience shame. When individuals experience shame, they often respond in one of the four ways:
Withdrawal—isolating oneself, running and hiding
Attack self—self put-down, masochism
Avoidance—denial, abusing drugs, distraction through thrill seeking
Attack others—turning the tables, lashing out verbally or physically, blaming others
In planning for restoration, it is essential that all parties reflect on the ways in which they personally respond to shame.
