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By Savanna Posey and Alice Musselwhite
3/2/23
Do you know what a surrogate is? A surrogate is someone who carries a baby for someone else. In this case, Mrs. Ayer is a surrogate. Mrs. Ayer is a 6th grade ELA teacher and softball coach at Edgewood Junior High School. She is a surrogate for her brother and his wife, Jimmy and Kelli Maxwell.
This is a picture of Mrs. Ayer with her brother and his wife.
A surrogate is a type of pregnancy in which a woman carries and gives birth to a baby for a person who is not able to have children. Surrogacy is an arrangement, often supported by a legal agreement, whereby a woman agrees to deliver a baby for another person or people, who will become the child's parent(s) after birth. Then the woman who carries the baby, then gives the baby to the intended parent(s). Usually when a person decides to use a surrogate to carry their child, it is because they have tried lots of other options to have a baby and it has not worked. There is no transfer of DNA during pregnancy in a gestational surrogacy. Which means that the person who carries the baby is not actually related to the baby.
Can a surrogate mother decide to keep the baby? No. While surrogates do have rights, they do not have the right to keep the child. The cost of surrogacy can be expensive, depending on the individual arrangements. For Mrs. Ayer’s brother it was about $10,000. However, surrogacy costs can be more in other places, especially when it is done through a professional agency. In states like California, where surrogates are in high demand, the cost may be significantly higher, close to $100,000. In order to carry a surrogate child, medical professionals recommend that you have no more than 5 previous pregnancies, to have had healthy pregnancies and deliveries, and be in good health. Most surrogates have to go through an extensive medical and mental health screening.
This is a picture of her brother and wife's baby.
Mrs. Ayer has not been a surrogate before this. She has two kids of her own named Henry and Maggie. She said, “I never thought I’d be doing this, especially at 40, but here I am.” She said that this has been a real privilege. Even though she has not been a surrogate before, Mrs.Ayer said that she has been thinking about being a surrogate for a long time. Her brother and sister-in-law have been trying to have kids for about 5 years and have sadly gone through six miscarriages. Mrs. Ayer’s brother and wife are going to have a daughter.
When Mrs. Ayer was asked if she gets to choose the name of the baby she replied with, “I do not, which I was a little upset about. It was funny when I agreed to do this. I said I have three conditions: 1, I'm not giving up coffee cause they're kinda strict about their own little things but I was like yeah I'm not doing that, 2, I had to be the godmother, and 3, I said that they had to include my name in their name somewhere.” That didn't happen, but that's ok with her, she's just happy to help.
This is a picture of Mrs. Ayer and her brother.
Mrs. Ayer also said that it has been different from a traditional pregnancy because she has to tell herself that this baby isn't going to be hers. Mrs. Ayer said, “Actually, your mom [Mrs. Musselwhite] gave me this advice, like always telling yourself 'She's not yours, like you know so once you get in that mindset it's just like I'm carrying for this human but there's not that connection or emotional bond that you have with your own kids.'” Mrs. Musselwhite carried twins as a surrogate in 2017 for friends of hers who were unable to have their own babies. She had twin boys, named Leo and Nik.
What Mrs. Ayer is doing for her brother is incredibly generous and selfless. She is helping to complete a family, by carrying and delivering this baby. She will always know that she played a part in making her brother and sister-in-law parents, since they were unable to have children on their own. And they will always be grateful to her and she will always have a special bond with her niece.
Contributors Bio:
Alice Musselwhite is a 12 year old girl who loves basketball swimming and spending time with family and friends.
Savanna Posey is an 11 year old girl who loves to hangout with her friends and family and play volleyball and softball.
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