Find former jokes of the day here
Q. How does Thanksgiving ALWAY end?
A. With a "g".
Q. Why don't turkeys play baseball?
A.They keep hitting "foul" balls
Q. Why did the pie go to the dentist?
A. It neded a filling!
Q. Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
A. To prove it wasn't a chicken
Q: Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
A: The outside!
Q: What kind of key doesn't open a door?
A: A tur-key!
Q. What do you call a pumpkin that works at a pool?
A. A life gourd!
Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin pi!
Q: What did the leaf say to the other leaf?
A:"I'm falling for you!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Gwen.
Gwen who?
Gwen is Thanksgiving dinner? I'm hungry!
Q. How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
A. With a pumpkin patch!
Q. What do you call the cutest season?
A. Awww-tumn!
Q: How can you tell a tree is a dogwood tree?
A: By its bark!
Q: Why did the turkey join the band?
A: Because he had the drumsticks!
Q: What is the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?
A: The tur-key!
Q: What did the little corn say to the mommy corn?
A: "Where's Pop-corn?"
Q: What's a scarecrow's favorite fruit?
A: A straw-berry!
Q: What do you call a star that explodes at the end of autumn?
A: A super Nova-ember!
Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: He wanted people to think he was a chicken!
Q: How do turkeys travel throughout the month of November?
A: By gravy train!
Q: What do you call a running turkey?
A: Fast food!
Q: Why do turkeys never finish their meals?
A: They're already stuffed!
Q: What sound does a turkey's phone make?
A: "Wing, wing!"
Q Why don't skeletons ever go trick-or-treating?
A Because they have no body to go with!
Q. Why did the zombie go to the library instead of the gym?
A. He wanted brains over brawn!
Q. What do you call a witch's garage?
A. A broom closet!
Q. What do you get if you drop a pumpkin?
A. A squash!
Q. Why do mummies make good secret-keepers?
A. Because they keep everything under wraps!
Q. What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?
A. Frostbite!
Q. Why are skeletons so bad at lying?
A. Because you can see right through them!
Q. What do you call a skeleton who won't do any work?
A. Lazy bones!
Q. What's a skeleton's favorite band instrument?
A. A Trom-bone
Q. How do you fix a broken Jack-O-Lantern?
A. With a Pumpkin Patch!
Q. Why did the invisible man quit his job?
A. He just couldn't see himself doing it!
Q. How do you make a waterbed more bouncy?
A. Add spring water
Q. What is a Mummy's favorite type of music?
A. Wrap
Q. Why did the vampire get glasses?
A. Because he was as blind as a bat!
Q. Where do ghosts buy their Halloween candy?
A. At the ghost-ery store!
Q. Why was the computer cold?
A..It left its Windows open.
Q. I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger.
A. Then it hit me
Q. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
A. Because he was outstanding in his field.
Q: Why was the employee fired from the calendar factory?
A:...He took a day off.
Q: What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off for school?
A: Bison! (Bye - son)
Q: Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer?
A: She kept running away from the ball!!
Q: Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
A: The food was good, but it had no atmosphere.
Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?
A: I'll meet you at the corner!
Q: Why don't elephants use computers?
A: Because they're afraid of the mouse!
Q: What did one toilet say to the other?
A: You look flushed!
Q. Why can't a nose be 12" long?
A. Because then it would be a foot!!