Resiliency Series

On October 16th Dr. Brian Mesinger from the Youth Clinic of Northern Colorado and Dr. Michael Griffith, a clinical psychologist in Fort Collins, spoke about building resiliency in teenagers. It was a discussion for parents on fostering resilience and problem solving in teens and young adults. Topics included skills building for independence, emotion regulation, 'good enough parent', letting go, etc. Dr. Mesinger provided some resources to help support teenagers:

• Books

  • Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents by Lynn Lyons

  • The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt

  • The Uncomfortable Truth by Anna Mathur

  • Mindset by Carol Dweck

• Online

  • Common Sense Media

  • Center for Humane Technology (Youth Tool Kit)

  • Design it for Us

  • Generation Tech

The word anxiety is often overused. Using a more extensive and varied emotional vocabulary can be beneficial in helping our youth regulate their emotions, respond to difficult situations, and build self-efficacy. We can use words such as uncomfortable, embarrassed, overwhelmed, and worried, to get to the root of the problem and have more meaningful conversations towards problem solving. Click here for a more complete list and use this tool when talking with your child. Please take some time to listen to the first 12 minutes of the podcast (linked below) by Nick Thompson to learn how to name it and tame it because “discomfort is where the growth is most likely to occur.”

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/perspective-for-parents/id1498632035?i=1000466155674

If you enjoyed this episode, listen to his next episode on improving your child’s executive functioning!

Based on research by clinical psychologists, human beings don’t do what makes them happy, they do what makes them comfortable. It is important to acknowledge that everyone is avoidant at times. It is a common human reaction, especially in situations that feel overwhelming or uncomfortable and is natural for teenagers to avoid challenges as they try to navigate high school and the world.

Avoidance may temporarily relieve discomfort, but it usually leads to increased anxiety and stress over time. This makes the avoided situation feel even harder to face. When we avoid hard things we reinforce the behavior of avoidance and the anxiety continues and often increases. Learning to step out of our comfort zone and challenge anxiety is a skill. When we don’t practice that skill we don’t learn to confront challenges. 

The Vicious Cycle of Avoidance Chart

One of the best ways to overcome the vicious cycle of avoidance and anxiety is to intentionally practice getting out of your comfort zone. Based on what causes your student anxiety, what is something they can do to practice taking a small step out of their comfort zone?

We encourage everyone to reflect on what causes anxiety and whether that anxiety is negatively impacting life. 

For our January Building Resiliency series we will be sharing information about Habits and Building a Resilient Mind. 

“Habits are a reflection of a collection of daily choices. Research from Duke University in 2006 found that over 40% of what we do is determined by habits, not decisions. This suggests that we can change a huge part of our lives just by transforming bad habits and creating better practices instead.” To continue reading, click on the link below.

Seven Habits for a Resilient Mind

Make a new healthy habit

• Decide on a goal that you would like to achieve for your health.

• Choose a simple action that will get you towards your goal which you can do on a daily basis.

• Plan when and where you will do your chosen action. 

• Every time you encounter that time and place, do the action.

As School Counselors we often notice how critical and cruel students can be to themselves. Sometimes, our inner critic can serve a helpful purpose by pushing us to grow and improve. However, it can also become overly critical, leading to self-doubt and demoralization. When this happens, one of the best things we can do is to start “talking back” to our inner critic with positive affirmations and resilient self-talk. This may sound simple and easy but it requires a conscious and consistent effort. 

Of course, it can’t stop with positive self-talk. Personal growth and self-improvement require action. But positive self-talk can counter the demoralizing effects of negative thinking, increasing our motivation and self-confidence to take action.

Check out this resource to learn more about resilient self-talk: https://www.solutionsforresilience.com/negative-self-talk/

For this month, March, we will be focusing on regulation activities that help calm the mind and body.  Learning to incorporate these activities before you are in a state of crisis can help build resiliency.  Being resilient will help in overcoming overwhelming feelings.  This is a skill that can be learned. 

https://www.changetochill.org/resources/teens/life-balance/

Self Regulation Coping Strategies

It is important for individuals to recognize that having many different “tools in their toolkit” will allow you to try different strategies in a state of crisis.  Create a list of activities that work specifically for you so you can refer back to them when needed.

We hope you enjoy this month's resources!

We are coming to you this month to look at executive functioning.  This is a term used often to describe managing everyday tasks, setting and managing goals.  This is often something that families find that their child struggles with while in school.  We have several articles linked below to help you and your student find strategies to help.

We have a couple of articles here from Harvard University.

This is a short article giving a few practical tips: https://www.gse.harvard.edu/ideas/usable-knowledge/21/10/my-teen-struggles-executive-function 

This is an activities guide with great suggestions for all age groups.  There are additional resources listed at the bottom of the activities guide for teenagers. https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/activities-guide-enhancing-and-practicing-executive-function-skills-with-children-from-infancy-to-adolescence/ 

We hope you find these resources helpful.  Have your student try one or 2 new strategies to start and hopefully over time they have learned new skills to help their overall executive functioning.

~RMHS Student Services Team

Student Services 

This is our last installment of our Resiliency Series. Thank you for partnering with us to support your student.

Summer is just around the corner! This month, we would like to share some ideas to maintain balance and stay healthy over the summer months.

• • Routines

  • Create a Summer Daily Schedule to keep a routine (example here) and be intentional about how you spend the time in your life.

  • Exercise/Get Outside

    • Hike

    • Swim

    • Bike

    • Fort Collins Summer Top 10 List

  • Cut back on tech use

  • Healthy eating habits 

    • Healthy Eating During Adolescence

    • Food Bank

    • PSD Free Summer Meals 

    • Water intake

  • Work/Volunteering

    • United Way: Volunteer Opportunities

    • Xello: Quick Links- Opportunities