Some writers, when preparing an informational report or essay simply give the readers the bare-bones facts, without elaborating on them. We'll discuss “showing vs. telling” and the value of sensory details that allow the reader to “see, hear, feel, smell, taste” the facts, bringing the writing to life.
Student Version Good:
African elephants, both male and female, have tusks. Tusks are like big teeth. They use them to fight and to dig. They’re made of ivory.
Student Version Better:
African elephants, both male and female, have big ivory tusks. They’re like long teeth. They use their sharp tusks to fight enemies and dig for things. They’re made of white ivory.
Student Version Better:
African elephants, both male and female, have long, curved, pointed tusks that protrude from the sides of their mouths. Tusks are actually long, extended teeth that are made of a bone-like material called ivory. Tusks serve an important purpose for elephants. These strong, sharp incisors are used to dig for water and for food, and to fight off predators, or even other elephants.
"Creating effective “supporting details” is the power of “showing” through your writing!"
DETAIL-GENERATING QUESTIONS
WHAT DOES IT “LOOK” LIKE?
Sound like? Feel like?
Taste like? Smell like? Seem like?
You may need to research this!
WHY IS THAT IMPORTANT?
Why is that important to your main idea?
You may need to research this!
IS EACH DETAIL IN A SEPARATE SENTENCE?
Separate the Grocery List!
DID YOU GIVE A SPECIFIC EXAMPLE?
Avoid general language such as “stuff,” “things,” “nice,” etc.
JUST OK...OR MUCH BETTER? (Student Activity #1)
MATCHING WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE? WITH WHY IS THAT IMPORTANT? (Student Activity #2)
Tigers have stripes.
(What does it “look” like?) Tigers have unique sets of gold, orange, black and white stripes.
(Why is it important? Another way to phrase that might be, “What function do the tigers’ stripes serve?”)
Tigers have unique sets of gold, orange, black and white stripes that help camouflage them in their natural habitat. This helps them move through their surroundings undetected, making them stealthy predators.
Student Activity #1 Student Activity #2 Student Activity #3
Possible Answers Teacher Access
ARE YOUR STORY DETAILS STARTING TO LOOK LIKE A GROCERY LIST?
BREAKUP THE DETAILS IN A SEPARATE SENTENCE
The “grocery list” is a lengthy list of different details. We can do better by presenting each detail in a separate, descriptive sentence.
Student Activity #1 Student Activity #2 Student Activity #3
Possible Answers Teacher Access