President's Message:  Parking My Roller Coaster

Post date: Nov 4, 2012 11:15:37 PM

During the midst of the Synergy meltdown, my world fell apart. My husband, Tony, had a lump in his neck. He has been misdiagnosed since March being placed on antibiotics. As a principal, like me, you have heard stories like this, however, this time it is different. This time it is my life.  It was me waiting for the test results or biopsy, not a parent, or a teacher, or even a student, No, this was my life.

At first I had a really difficult time staying focused at work. The waiting was especially difficult for me. I felt out of control, and we all know our dirty little secret, principals are control freaks, at least the good ones are. Tony was diagnosed with Neck/Head cancer in early October, so now the nightmare was a reality and the heart gripping fear that I had heard about stayed with me constantly. How do I continue to do the job of principal, when fear is consuming all my energy? Specifically, how do I continue to make the many decisions, engage in multiple collaborations, multitask and stay engaged to the level that I need to, in order to effectively be the instructional leader of this school?  The emotional and intellectual energy required of the principalship is taxing when you are on top of your game. Here I am in a new school, that is very large, and I haven’t even mentioned the many changes in curriculum this year!

As the reality of the situation sunk in, I took stock of my surroundings. I beat down the nagging fear and used the data that I had available. Tony’s prognosis is good. Treatment is difficult but he has a type of cancer that is highly treatable, breathe.  I have an awesome assistant principal, Frank Gillikan. We have known each other for twenty years and he has known Tony since playing eight year old basketball together. There is something safe about having a long history with someone you work with in a time of crisis. Frank has no problem kicking me under the table if I am being less engaged during a collaboration meeting than I should be. I appreciate that. My office staff has my back. A few times they have given me the precious few minutes I needed to get myself together, before bringing a parent back or forwarding a call.  The teachers and staff at Linkhorn are kind and compassionate people. All in all, being in a school as a principal during a personal crisis might just be the best place to be.

I stole the line of “Parking my roller coaster” from Kelly Coon, when she had her health issues a couple of years ago. I didn’t exactly get it then, but I do now.  As I walk through the doors of Linkhorn, I park my roller coaster to the side. I know it will be there when I am done, with all of the ups and downs of cancer, the treatments, prognosis and stages. I make the choice to leave it and focus on what the day at school has waiting for me.

I am not naïve about what the future has in store for our family. We have a difficult 4-6 months ahead of us. I am sure some days it will be easier than others to park and get off the roller coaster. I also know that I have a wonderful support system in my fellow elementary principals.  You are all just a phone call away. If I need you, I promise I will call. By the way, I will tell you that Synergy does not seem as big of a deal as it did in early October.