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Peer support is parent-focused and child-centered. While dads in distress and mums in distress by their very names appear to be focused mainly on supporting parents through separation from their partner and or their children, we actually have the health, safety and well-being of all family uppermost in our mind. As a suicide prevention charity, it saddens us that in our modern society there are men, women and children who are being lost or harmed and in the very place where love and kindness should prevail. As a peer support organisation, we encourage each other to keep in contact with our children no matter how hard it can be. Inevitably those children will want to know their parents. We encourage parents to continue with emotional and financial support of their families for the sake of the children. And when parents experiencing separation can keep centred on the interests of their children, they will be more thoughtful, conciliatory and appropriate in their actions.

Peer Support is parent-focused and child-centred

While Dads in Distress and Mums in Distress by their very names, appear to be focused mainly on supporting parents through separation from their partner and / or children, we actually have the health, safety and well-being of all the family uppermost in our mind. As a suicide prevention charity it saddens us that in our modern society, there are men, women and children who are being lost of harmed, in the very place where love and kindness should prevail. As a Peer Support organisation, we encourage each other to keep in contact with our children no matter how hard that can be. Inevitably, those children will want to know their parents. We also encourage parents to continue with emotional and financial support of their families for the sake of the children. When parents experiencing separation can keep centred on the interests of their children, they will be more thoughtful, conciliatory and appropriate into their actions.

We encourage parents to take responsibility for their actions or inaction

Rather than denigrate and blame the other parent, the system or society, we encourage parents to look in the mirror to understand and accept their contribution to the breakdown of their family. There is a time and place for addressing perceived injustices in the system but we believe parents serve their children, themselves and society best by focussing on their own situation and making it work as best they can for all involved. We discourage parents from the common tendency of wanting to vindicate themselves by denigrating the other parent of their children. This does the children great harm. Even if it is perceived that one parent  is having a negative impact on the other parent of the children, it does not make it right for parents to behave in a similar manner.

Be the cause of their future and not the result of their past.

We simply guide parents to become the cause of their future and not the result of their past. In life, we cannot always avoid being hurt, but we can choose to be bitter, resentful, full of pessimism and despair, or to be better, stronger and wiser. By the nature of the support we provide, parents learn how to handle the complexities of being a weak-end parent, or a parent who is prevented from having any contact at all. They learn how to handle the discouragement, the loneliness, the hopelessness and depression. They learn how to handle the sorrow and help them to adjust their parenting from a distance. They learn how to work with the system and be proactive in achieving a better outcome for their children and for themselves.

We provide hope. 

Our peer support services, our groups and our meetings are not pity parties. Yes, we visit our pain, but we don't live there. We move through our grief and we get focused on the future. By collaborating rather than colluding, we're able to help parents find their way in the darkness. They come to the acceptance that life will never be the same as it was before and they need to adjust to make the most of what they have. We remind parents that in most cases, contact with their children will be restored and that their relationship with the children may actually become better, richer, deeper than it was before the separation. While each volunteer can assist the cause in many different ways according to their aptitude and their skill set, this ability to provide hope is the essential quality that everyone working with and as part of the PBB family and team must have and must cultivate.

We work in collaboration with others. 

We recognise that our service is merely one service among many that parents and families need before, during or after the separation process. As a peer support service, we can provide genuine empathy and compassion that many appreciate because it comes from people who have also experienced that same distress, pain and confusion of separation themselves. While Parents Beyond Breakup has been developing its professionalism as an organization and our staff and volunteers are embracing an increasing amount of training, it's not a one-stop shop for everyone going through separation. And we acknowledge that. We do make it a priority to help parents identify their specific needs and the needs of their family and to identify other appropriate services and supports as soon as possible. Parents Beyond Breakup also demonstrates this early engagement approach by having the capacity in most situations to provide intensive support immediately while parents and families, even those with complex needs, are on waiting lists to access other professional services elsewhere. To enhance this collaborative emphasis, Parents Beyond Breakup staff and volunteers are increasingly involved in networks, partnerships and joint ventures within the sector to ensure seamless referral pathways and healthy coordination of services. We work hard at engaging people who often have no knowledge or experience of the system so that they get the help they need. We are committed to the ideal that there should be no wrong door for people seeking help at arguably the most vulnerable stage of their life.