Chapter 12 - The One Gone Bad
The morning yawned with desperation for caffeine, preferable coffee thick as sludge. I did not have to tip toe about as Cameron and Alastor assumed the roles of parental figures, waiting patiently for my awake as to aid in my preparation for the day.
ATMOS: There isn’t anything important going on today is there?
I smirked at Alastor.
ALASTOR: Humor typically denotes incompetence. Are you feeling incompetent Atmos?
Alastor smirked back.
ATMOS: Just need a stiff cup of joe is all.
CAMERON: I have one right here for you chief.
Cameron fished for a clean mug while grabbing a steaming silver french press half full of goodness.
I was surprised at the concealment of aroma, absent in the air.
ALASTOR: Cameron, do make it a to go vessel si’l vous plats. Our dear friend must be on his way soon.
Alastor was right, the curtain must fall shortly on these morning antics.
ATMOS: A cup to go would be wonderful, please and thank you.
Cameron filled an empty thermos three quarters full, allowing head room from the foreseeable shaking movements to come. I grabbed the kindness from his hand and met his gaze.
CAMERON: You ready for this?
ATMOS: I sure hope so. It doesn’t make sense for her to be anywhere else. What’s missing is the words I’ll say when I see her.
Alastor interjected.
ALASTOR: You simply explain to her to resist our aid will result in death.
ATMOS: Charming, truly.
I faked a smile and gestured my departure to the two other members of Sunshine Dreamers. The casual stroll to Caroline allowed minutes of solace, taking note of the slow sunrise that impatiently crept into view. The checklist of morning expectations still included a run in with the lovely Lee. I peered over to the small window at the base of the wooden radio tower, cast in darkness without a hint of an internal glow. Perhaps she slept softly in her slumber, unbothered by the weight this little operation registered on the scale. I carried on, holding tightly the hand of my confidence. This golden hour was not the one to get side tracked in.
Arriving at Caroline, I rung out what hesitation was left in me. An out of place blanket caught my eye and claimed the rear of the canoe. Bestowing with it a slight oscillation that mimicked breathing. It would appear that the checklist would remain faithful after all.
ATMOS: How long have you been hiding in here, years maybe?
LEE: Hey no fair!
A cry barked from under the deceitful fabric.
ATMOS: Lee, I have to go and I really need to go alone. It’s our best chance.
LEE: Maybe. Maybe you could kidnap me! She wouldn’t be the wiser.
ATMOS: I wish you could accompany me, I do. It’s selfish, but outside of this whole Sunshine Dreamer’s business, I want to also do this for myself.
—------INSERT WHY NOW ATMOS WANTS TO SEE, HE HESITATED PRIOR —----
LEE: Ohhhh, I see the name has stuck. That’s exciting.
ATMOS: I promise I’ll come back.
LEE: Do you now? And what happens when you return?
I matched her smile.
ATMOS: I get my honorary bed back, you know the one in the radio tower that comes equipped with a late night guest.
LEE: I like the sound of that. Hey wait you didn’t tell those bozos about the time I ran out of linens?
ATMOS: Of course not Lee.
A tragic silence drizzled from the clouds above.
LEE: Please be careful Atmos, I wanted a moment alone so that I could give you something. Hopefully it provides you with all the protection I can muster from afar.
ATMOS: You don’t have to give me anything Lee, this moment is enough.
LEE: Nonsense, much good your memory will do! I haven’t taken it off in quite some time, but please keep it close to you and hopefully you’ll gain some comfort from having it.
She reached into the opening of her shirt and gently unclasped the necklace she had been concealing from view. Her hand circled the copper pine cone pendant, stretching out the relic with somber eyes.
LEE: My father had it made for me. There was a moment right after I had dug the grave for him, when I knew it was time. I would have to fight through the tears and push his pale body into the hole newly created to imprison his soul. I hesitated and stood motionless for countless moments, searching for any forgotten desire prior to such a final goodbye. Before he had set sail that day, I made him promise to take my necklace, the one he had made for me, and keep it around his neck. My scared fingers slipped the jewelry from around his neck, ushering in the time to bid farewell. It’s a special necklace Atmos, please take care of it, but please come back to me this time. I couldn’t stand another repeat of its inability to keep someone safe.
ATMOS: Lee, I don’t know what to say. I will hold this token near to my heart. I’ll return to you, I promise..
She dove into my chest and squeezed hard, remaining still for a basket of seconds until her grasp lightened. I found her embrace disclosing the truth that she felt as if she shared too much in the moment. A quick rebound assured my reasoning.
LEE: Off you go!
I smiled with the beat of my heart and grabbed my ore. Pushing off the dock, the warm fire faded from view, soon to be replaced with the one gone bad.
Through the detailed deduction of Cameron’s cartography intellect, I would follow the west peninsula shoreline for two miles before entering a shallow riverway that would lead me to the area where the cat tails grew like giants.
I patted my neck, assuring my wandering thoughts that reality would chaperone my discoveries. Although she would embody a hole in the ship, nose diving me into a cliffside, a sliver of me expressed an untamed desire to see Carmine, my Carmine, one last time. Riding next to me, telling me all of the dirty secrets for what I was about to find out.
Time accelerated as I reached the small river, identified by its angle at which it entered the shoreline. Cameron really did have a knack for map making, his astrology sign rooted in data. With control I steered Caroline through a pair of miles through the small stream, until reaching a sort of end where the water depth became too shallow for a boat’s crossing. The remainder of this search and rescue would be told on foot.
Our logistics might have me in the right region of the Deep Pines, but much effort was still required to pin point where Carmine Red lay dormant, hiding under her bed from the world. I peeped through the gaps in evergreen trees to determine an area of high ground, such a vantage point would be a worthy ally. My boots sloshed quietly through the terrain towards what appeared to be a nearby hill top. Standing tall, I imagined the landscape being discovered for the first time by my eyes. Noting the newness that surrounded me, I kept myself focused on cat tails. From such a distance their elusion presence would be noted by little brown dots, scattered about in all directions. Not to be mistaken by the hues of brown that littered the area.
I counted a cluster of minutes passed, felt mostly through strain in my pupils. I hadn’t brought with me the assumption that this would be easy, but the moment lacked traction. Checking my compass, I affirmed the western direction for which my prize was theorized to be. A vast gust of wind caught me off balance, I watched the wave of air travel across the valley in front of me. Its arrival bloomed with clarity as tiny little red wings danced in the distance, roughly 300 feet to my right.
Descending the hill top, my thoughts salivated in anticipation of getting closer to her. Upon closer investigation of the maroon dancers proved my assumption correct. Tiny wings fluttered about, off placed by the wind, waiting for the night time to bring a beacon of hope.
My heart sank knowing that this could be the moment, our reunion after calendars of time passed. I hadn’t conceived a string of words to convey myself, the depths for which my heart plundered lay ridden with butterflies. My pace slowed in an unconscious effort to prolong my fate.
Without thought I placed my hand towards my chest and squeezed Lee’s necklace. It portrayed a child’s blanket on some dark and scary night, eyes fixated on the closet hoping for no spooky hand to extend out. My grip continued to tighten as I walked further into the altered cat tail patch. A natural noise off in the distance sent nerves racing along my body, my hand jerked during the excitement snapping the chain of my necklace clear off my neck.
Not a problem, I can simply retie the clasp or turn part caveman and tie the chain of the necklace into a knot if all else fails. Pausing, I reached inside of my shirt and scratched the victim out into my hand. I had broken the main clasp that allowed the necklace to close, prehistoric times were in my near distance future. I trailed in thought to the least destructive way to tie the necklace back into place while still honoring Lee’s father. The choices presented themselves in front of me when a second noise landed closer.
CARMINE: You’re so close Darling, just a few feet farther I promise.
My eyes bolted up. There she stood, eyes darting through me. Her hair was different, tied up in a bun with only two slivers of hair curving over her face.
ATMOS: Carmine. You’re here.
CARMINE: Careless for dramatics you are, I come without intentions. For now.
ATMOS: I’d prepare your goodbye, you can’t be here. I’ll get this necklace back on and get back to finding the real you.
CARMINE: I’m not real enough for you, pity. Atmos, take my hand.
She reached out her left hand, stillness held in the two metal bracelets that wrapped her wrist.
ATMOS: Carmine, I’m serious. This isn’t the time.
CARMINE: Atmos. You’re so close. A few steps are all I ask. I know you’ve missed me, one last moment.
Her hand grabbed mine and slowly began pulling towards an opening in the cat tails in the distance. A small dock entered the frame, one that had a slouched woman sitting at the end of, feet stretched out into the water. Her clothes were tattered, ripped in areas, showing aged skin that matched her stringy hair. Her physique resembled that of neglect, a sadness surrounded her.
ATMOS: Carmine what are you showing me, what kind of hallucination is this?
Carmine put her index finger to her lips and began walking towards the edge of the dock that held the weathered stranger. She sat down right beside her, looking back at me with a smile that seemed out of place, somehow innocent. I had gotten myself down a rabbit hole that needed a ladder of escape.
ATMOS: Carmine!
I shouted as I fumbled with the necklace in my hand, Lee would have to forgive me for the bluntness of knot tying that would ensue. My eyes wandered up to see the stranger turning her head towards me, my Carmine appeared to be no one in sight. Our eyes met. A match lit inside of me as I noticed the green hue held in them.
ATMOS: Damnit, I need to snap out of all of this.
I closed my eyes and threw the newly tied necklace around my neck. I became aware of my breathing and took the next few breaths slowly, hoping to de-escalate myself. My eyes reopened to the stranger still sitting on the dock, now in the motion of standing. I took a step backwards, unsure of what my next action was supposed to be. The stranger was standing now, looking upon me with eyes of exhaustion.
STRANGER: How long has it been Atmos?
Her voice, strained beneath years of ash and soot from a fire she no longer resembled. The soft words flowed through a dry, mud cracked valley I had forgotten. Caught up in illusions of the present day, I had buried the true sound of her voice.
ATMOS: Hey there Carmine. It’s been long, very long.
CARMINE: Chance favored our reunion, the two of us explorers of these timber tides.
ATMOS: I thought I would be ready for this moment the way I’ve dreamt of it so.
CARMINE: I’m not one for daydreaming these days, I’ve shed the skin of adolescence. You could say you’re as much of a stranger to me now as a ghost.
ATMOS: I remember you saying once, we would be together until we both were ghosts.
CARMINE: A lasting memory of me, is that what you’ve been up to all this time?
ATMOS: I’ve been a renegade Carmine, you’d smile at what I’ve been up to.
CARMINE: I’m smiling now Atmos.
The gentle peaking of neglected teeth further illuminated the flaws my hands had created in her vision. I had spent years scratching through time to land at this moment, yet a dam containing my disappointment showed signs of cracking.
ATMOS: Carmine, what did you find out here that had you discard the life we had.
CARMINE: Rather harsh wouldn’t you say? I understand I’ve changed, yet it is for the better. I don’t care much to explain why, you’ll have to trust me.
ATMOS: I think I am owed an explanation to be honest. You know you just left one day, asking for me to give up everything to go play pretend with you.
CARMINE: I see you only choose which memories to remember.
A smirk emerged from her wrinkled face, placing herself into motion as she walked past me.
ATMOS: Carmine, wait. I did come here to find you. But there is more to my story. We need to talk about matters that do not involve either of us.
CARMINE: Careful Atmos, I haven’t thought about you in years. I don’t think you’ll like to hear about the scars you’ve made.
ATMOS: I suppose I don’t. I just want you to be careful.
CARMINE: It’s too late for that, let’s try another door.
I understood, long before I had come here this afternoon, the defeat that would greet me with her lost embrace felt known in advance. Although selfish voices spoke internally to continue on with my feelings, I chose to speak of the plansI did not make.
ATMOS: Carmine. I’m mixed up in the business of others. As the stars would tell, you’ve become a part of that equation.
CARMINE: You have intrigued Atmos, take it as an ode to old times.
ATMOS: Well supposedly you are on a war path to destroy NightLight and two people black listed from the company want to help you succeed in this endeavor. They say that you are being hunted Carmine, by people that hunt.
CARMINE: Ah yes, people that hunt. Yet, they do not know of the huntress I’ve become.
ATMOS: This appears to be very serious, I promise I am mostly here to help.
CARMINE: Mostly won’t do at all. Last time you promised, it didn’t end well.
Dust fell from her expressions that had been left on an unreachable shelf.
ATMOS: This is bigger than me, or you, or any combination of the two.
CARMINE: Were you expecting a long list of laundry items I had been saving, whistling a tune each night in hopes that someone would come to my aid?
ATMOS: I know it all sounds foolish, tagging along for plans I know nothing about, but help has arrived. Please Carmine, take my open hand.
I chose carefully not to extend my arm out to a distance that would come off desperate.
CARMINE: One or two sentences, I suggest you begin writing your goodbye.
ATMOS: You want me to leave? This conversation has been years in the making, why cut it short?
CARMINE: You’re down to one sentence now.
ATMOS: What are you up to Carmine?
CARMINE: You’re saying goodbye with a question? At least now you’re the one keeping me on my toes.
A sigh landed in the air, smoke from the engines that would soon propel Carmine further off into the distance. I passed the threshold of desperation and reached my hand far enough to grab Carmine’s hand. The advance was evaded, replacing her exit with a response.
CARMINE: What I can tell you is I found something out here, something of value. Once I shuffled around life’s order of importance, moving on was as subtle as sleeping.
The child of the Deep Pines turned to face me, eyes stricken with a coldness new to the interaction.
CARMINE: Atmos, I’m saving us. All of us. I’m close now, yet a few paths ahead of me feel plagued with hidden daggers.
ATMOS: You can’t fight fate Carmine.
She began moving again, her hesitation packing more coal into the fire. This time I neglected to follow, she turned one last time to bid farewell
CARMINE: I’ll be on a train the day after tomorrow. A morning train, departing from the Last Stop. If you and your groupies happen to be aboard, perhaps you could stay for a drink.
The endless games were bubbling up at every turn in her ramble.
ATMOS: You’re still not going to tell me your plan are you?
CARMINE: But of course not, I still need to keep you on your toes.
Her smile broke free from years of imprisonment, I knew now that the moment had expired.