Combatting Comparison

Maiya Reese

     It’s a daily ritual for her. While riding the bus to school, she opens Instagram. She scrolls through hundreds of pictures and reels featuring glowing skin, glossy hair, and adorable outfits. Family outings, fun with friends, and date nights accompany the beautiful girls in the visuals. Perfect girls with perfect lives. By the time she gets to school, her self-image is fractured to the point of shattering. She views others with envy and despair. She will never measure up. 

     By the time he enters first hour, he’s already gotten seven congratulations. He shot the final buzzer beater last night–a victorious three-pointer that touched nothing but net. Arguably, he’s the best one on the team. No one else has such quick reflexes. No one else can bench as much as him. As classmates and teachers pat him on the back and praise him, he can’t help but look smugly at younger boys watching him with blatant jealousy. They will never measure up.  

     What’s one thing that’s similar about these two scenarios? 

     A total lack of joy. 

     The phrase “comparison is the thief of joy” is not an exaggeration—it is a fact. We’ve all been guilty of comparison. Comparing ourselves to others either causes artificial affirmation or tears our confidence to shreds. Yet, we find ourselves constantly succumbing to comparison. Navigating school, sports, church, and social media offers endless opportunities for insecurity to take hold. 

     However, it is crucial to realize: Comparison steals our happiness, contentment, peace, gratitude, sense of self-worth, energy—the list goes on and on. Ultimately, comparison is a poison that distorts the way we live. It is an unhealthy, toxic habit that must be broken.

      So, how do we fight the temptation to compare ourselves to others? There are many ways to combat comparison, but here are four steps to start strong.   

1. Renew our minds. Many times, we compare ourselves to others without even realizing it. Though our train of thought often wanders, we have the will to capture false, toxic thoughts and replace them with true, wholesome thoughts. Romans 12:2 says, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…”. Retraining our minds to avoid comparison and its subsequent negative thoughts is a key to combat comparison.

2. Focus on the other person. We forget that when we compare ourselves to others, we are actually mistreating the other person. They are people too, who carry their own unseen struggles and faults, hopes and dreams. Being genuinely happy towards other people and grateful for the ways God has blessed them can help us be more content with the way God has made us. 

3. Practice gratitude. It can not be stressed enough how important gratitude is. If comparison is poison, think of gratitude as the antidote. Our lives, as hard as they can sometimes be, are a wonderful gift from a loving God. We were made to glorify Jesus, not reminisce about the things that we don’t have. In an interview, senior Allie Hengeller reminds us that “We all have a purpose, and it’s not to compare [ourselves to others]. You [can’t] compare one life to another.” Friend, enjoy this good gift of life that we all get to share. It is a precious gift that must not be taken for granted. 

4. God made you uniquely. I recently saw a quote that said, “Sunsets and flowers are both beautiful, but we don’t compare them to each other.” This quote rings true. God made each of us uniquely and with our own gifts, talents, hobbies, and interests. Psalm 139:13-14 says, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” We are all imperfect, and this is okay. God crafted you with painstaking detail—He designed you with His own hands. Choose joy in the person God is shaping you to be. In an interview, senior Luke Shepherd shares his mindset for combatting comparison: “God made me the way that He wanted me to be. I am good enough in His image and it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, but only what He thinks.” 

     When we are freed from comparison, it opens the door to experience joy. Joy is “deep, unshakable, soul-level contentment rooted in the love of God and one’s identity in Christ” (Hoppe 2022). One will experience joy and contentment when he or she truly understands their identity in Christ. 

Sources:

     Hoppe, Steve. "The Trap of Comparison." Biblical Counseling Coalition, 2 Feb. 2022, www.biblicalcounselingcoalition.org/2022/02/02/the-trap-of-comparison/.