Parenting and the Importance of Attachment

Goal Statement

Children’s development is a collection of many factors that all influence their future socialization and relationships, behaviors, and eventually how they view themselves within their culture and society. While a child’s biological baseline plays a role in development, the culture children are raised in, the experiences they have, and the amount of support they receive from their caregivers and society all interact with each other to change their developmental pathways. By teaching parents about the value of these influences, they will hopefully develop a stronger understanding on the benefits of enriching these factors and gain ideas about the best ways to do this, according to contemporary developmental science. Within this website parents can

find supplemental and detailed information that teaches about the potential negative outcomes of using a specific parenting style, as prescribed by society, and how to avoid these overgeneralized ideas. As well, the content here will show caregivers the value of what it means to be a parent and how these new patterns of thinking and creating a supportive environment could help in providing their child with the appropriate amount of support and care they need to successfully develop. While the information we provide does show potential negative outcomes for children raised in unhealthy environments, by learning about the strong influences that parents have in a child’s first few years of life, they will come to better understand their role in their child’s development; and how the support and experiences they provide for their children is critical in building resilience, healthy and appropriate behaviors, and a sense of identity as they grow into adults. Being a parent takes a lot of effort and often will create stressful situations that feel hard to navigate. It is our hope that parents will continue to do an awesome job in raising their children as well as pick up a few tips and tricks to improve upon the great job they are already doing. Being a parent can be hard, but by being aware of the factors that influence your children and knowing a few helpful ideas on how to better support them, it is much easier to set your child up for success and a healthy development.

Modern Ideas of parenting in the U.S.

Some challenges, questions, and feelings parents have and face while raising children today.

________________________________________________________________________________________

Q. What (if any) anxieties, insecurities, and challenges have you faced as a parent?

A: I always worried about being able to keep my children safe.

A: I worried that I would be too poor, as I was when I was a child, and I wouldn't be able to give my son the things he needed as he grew up.

A: I did not feel I had enough support and knowledge raising my child and so I worried about him being able to make the right choices as he grew up.

A: The insecurities I felt as a parent were always centered around the well being of my children. I never wanted to see my children suffer or hurt. Unfortunately, life has these things so the challenge I found was how to teach my children how to navigate life's challenges and disappointments.

Q: What is the most important aspect of being a parent?

A: To be present, available, kind and loving.

A: The most important aspect of being a parent is to love unconditionally and to show forgiveness

A: Taking care of your child during their first years of life and continuing to love unconditionally.

Q. Have you had other adults in your life who have been parents attempting to give you insight and guidance on how they would raise a child

A: No. Wait, actually, yes, I can think of one person who does from time to time to tells me how to parent even though her opinion is not solicited by me. She has a strong, opinionated personality in general so it is just her nature.

A: No

A: I have had other adults in my life try to tell me how to parent… Some were good and some were not so good

A: I had people always telling me what to do and how to do it! It is important to do what is right for you and your lifestyle.

Q. What do you feel is a challenge new parents will face in today’s age?

A: In today’s age parenting is more difficult in so many ways… Technology poses different risks, and has replaced a lot of the social interaction that would be just done with friends and family in a personal way. Now it is so much more difficult to discern who your children are relating to and what influences they are getting from the outside

A: Technology and its distraction is a new challenge.

A: The changing world order and the wealth gap in the U.S, it means that the way we have been parenting will have to change as economic and environmental conditions change in the country.

A: In today’s age, parenting is more difficult in so many ways from when I was a child. Technology has replaced a lot of the social interaction that would be just done with friends and family in a personal way and now it is so much more difficult to discern who your children are relating to and what influences they are getting from the outside

We hope that this information we provide can help other parents answer some of these questions, while providing a chance to reflect upon their own beliefs and practice.

Want to share your experiences as a parent? You can fill out our questionnaire on parenting here

Information on Attachment and Parenting Styles

Parenting, can you be doing it wrong?

Is there a right way to parent? Whos to say. Every child is different and thus requires a different form of care. This satire short film aims to evaluate the issues with conforming to one parenting style, as well as addressing adequate attachment.

The Misconceptions of Pop-Culture Parenting

Tiger Parent, Helicopter Parent, Free Range, it seems like there's wide selection of titles based upon your parenting style. However, pop culture perpetuates over detailed "categories" of parenting which aim for specific outcomes with their methods of child rearing which are inconsistent with the types of parenting styles acknowledged by developmental science. We hope the infographic below provides a better understanding of how these pop-culture parenting styles fit into the empirically supported parenting styles.

The Importance of Attachment

This video covers the importance of early attachment and how it sets the groundwork for children’s temperament, emotional regulation, and even motivation through its influence on executive functioning from infancy through to adulthood.

Attachment Styles

Authoritarian

Generally the most effective parenting style with the most benefits. This parenting style focuses on providing warmth and support to a child, while still instilling reasonable control and structure into their lives. As the child matures, so does the aspects of their freedom and how much intensive warmth they receive depending on given situations.

Authoritarian

Cold and harsh, this parenting style can border on militant. Although it provides structure, this parenting style may backfire in rebellious teenage years and result in a strained relationship.

Permissive

Although engaged with the best intention, too much warmth and not enough structure may lead to coddling and learned helplessness.

Negligent

Don't be this. Lack of structure and warmth results can result in a very strained relationship and maladaptive behaviors.

Helping Your Child Understand Identity

Today's youth are expressing a broader range of gender identities, and it can sometimes be difficult as a parent to explain it! Having a secure relationship to your child, based upon secure attachment, can help improve communication between you, making tough questions and topics easier to sort out. We hope this video can show you how to have open communication with your child about different gender identities.

About the Authors

Lauren Fetzer

Lauren is a junior Psychology Major at Pacific University. Her academic interest focuses on behavior and development, with an intent to pursue a career in high school counseling, Industrial Psychology, or audiology. Her other interests consist of visual art and design, tattoo design, and exploring coffee shops.

Michael Cusack

Michael is a senior Psychology Major at Pacific University who hopes to attend a graduate school for Speech Language Pathology. He has an interest in language and development and has worked with kids in many different settings. He hopes to keep working with kids and help in developing healthy and supportive future generations.

Adam Mydland

Adam is a senior at Pacific University from Bellingham, Washington. He is majoring in Psychology with a minor in philosophy. He hopes this project encourages parents to raise their children with love and provide a nourishing environment. This is Hensley, she is 10 months old and the joy of my life.

References

Barrett L. You aren't at the mercy of your emotions - your brain creates them. (2017). TED. Retrieved January 14, 2022, from https://www.ted.com/talks/lisa_feldman_barrett_you_aren_t_at_the_mercy_of_your_emotions_your_brain_creates_them?referrer=playlist-what_are_emotions

Diamond, L. M. (2020). Gender Fluidity and Nonbinary Gender Identities Among Children and Adolescents. Child Development Perspectives, 14, 110-115.

Dobbs, D. (2009). The science of success. The Atlantic Monthly. https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2009/12/the-science-of-success/307761/

Doebel, S. How your brain’s executive function works –and how to improve it. (2018). TED. Retrieved January 14, 2022, from https://www.ted.com/talks/sabine_doebel_how_your_brain_s_executive_function_works_and_how_to_improve_it?language=en

Fass, P. (2018). There used to be consensus on how to raise kids. The Atlantic Monthly. https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2018/03/america-new-dr-spock/555311/

Gopnik, A. (2016a). Introduction: The Parent Paradoxes. In The Gardener and the Carpenter. Picador, New York, NY. &

Gopnik, A. (2016b). Chp 1: Against Parenting. In The Gardener and the Carpenter. Picador, New York, NY

Hammack, P. The Radical Authenticity Revolution. (2019). TEDx. Retrieved January 21, 2022, from https://www.ted.com/talks/phil_hammanck_the_radical_authenticity_revolution

Markus, H. R., Mullaly, P. R. & Kitayama, S. (1997). Selfways: Diversity in modes of cultural participation. In U. Neisser & D. A. Jopling (Eds): The Conceptual Self in Context. Cambridge University Press, New York, NY, 13 – 61.

Masten, A. (2001). Ordinary Magic: Resilience processes in development. American Psychologist, 56, 2227-238.

Molomot, L. (Director). (2013). School's Out: Lessons from a Forest Kindergarten [Film]. Rona Richter.

Munakata, Y. The science behind how parents affect child development (2019). TED. Retrieved January 5, 2022, from https://www.ted.com/talks/yuko_munakata_the_science_behind_how_parents_affect_child_development?language=en

Pinsker, J. (2019). Why Swedes are chiller parents than Americans. The Atlantic Monthly. https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2019/02/american-parents-scandinavian-different/582103/

Rosin, H. (2014). The overprotected kid. The Atlantic Monthly. https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/04/hey-parents-leave-those-kids-alone/358631/

Soto., C.J., Napolitano, C.M., & Roberts, B. W. (2020). Taking skills seriously: Toward an integrative model and agenda for social, emotional, and behavioral skills. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 30, 26 – 33.

Siegler, R. S., Saffran, J., Gershoff, E. T., Eisenberg, N., & DeLoache, J. S. (2020). An Introduction to Child Development. In How children develop. essay, Worth Publishers.

Wright, M. How every children can thrive by five (2021). TED. Retrieved January 7, 2022, from https://www.ted.com/talks/molly_wright_how_every_child_can_thrive_by_five?language=en

Page updated

Report abuse