Sexual Assault FAQs
What is sexual assault?
Sexual assault is any unwanted sexual touching by one person to another, without consent, under threat of force or fear. This also includes the inability to consent due to intoxication, unconsciousness, a disability, or being too young to consent. Sexual Assault includes:
Penetration of the victim’s body by any body part or foreign object, also known as rape
Attempted rape
Child molestation and incest
Unwanted sexual touching or fondling
What is the difference between rape and sexual assault?
Rape is defined as unwanted penetration, whether that is oral, anal, or vaginal. Sexual assault refers to any unwanted sexual contact, including fondling or molestation.
Penetration of the victim’s body by any body part or foreign object, also known as rape
Attempted rape
Child molestation and incest
Unwanted sexual touching or fondling
What is consent?
Consent is informed, freely and actively given, mutually understandable words or actions that indicate a willingness to participate in a mutually agreed upon sexual activity. If you are under the influence of drugs or alcohol and incoherent or if you are unconscious or asleep—you CANNOT consent to sex! *NOTE: CONSENT CAN BE REVOKED/STOPPED AT ANYTIME!!*
What are some examples of consent or denied consent?
Ways to consent or say "YES":
say YES (Out loud! Enthusiastic!)
I like that
That feels good
I’m okay with this…
Verbalize communication
Initiate an action
Participate willingly
What can denied consent or "NO" sound like?
No! (loud or quietly)
I guess…if you want me to
Can we slow down?
I’m not ready for this
Pushing/turning away
Silence
Crying
Can you stop?
If you are unsure—ASK!!!
How can I keep my children safe?
Have open communication. Reassure them they will be okay, they are not in trouble, and that it is NOT their FAULT!
Educate them about good touch and bad touch.
Believe them if they ever say someone touched them.
Know the name, address, and number of the people taking care of your children.
Know the signs, such as changes in behavior, bed wetting, change in personal hygiene, or hyper-sexuality.
I have nowhere to go, what can I do?
If you do not have any family or friends in the area where you can be safe, there are local emergency shelters available.
The Coalition for Family Harmony (805) 656-1111
Interface Children Family Services (800) 339-9597
Lighthouse (805) 385-7200
Salvation Army (805)648-5032
Rescue Mission (men only) (805) 487-1234
Someone I know has been sexually assaulted, what can I do?
There are many ways that you can help a friend or family member who has been a victim of rape or sexual violence:
BELIEVE your loved one.
LISTEN and ask what they need at the moment.
SUPPORT what your loved one decides to do—even if you don’t agree with their situation.
EMPOWER your loved one.
ENCOURAGE them to get support and report to law enforcement if they are willing, but do not pressure them.
My spouse/partner forces me to perform sexual acts that I do now want to perform.
Anytime a spouse/partner forces you to do any unwanted sexual acts, that is considered spousal/marital rape.
What services are available to me?
The Coalition for Family Harmony offers comprehensive counseling services to survivors of sexual assault and their non-offending family members. Their MFT Interns and trainees provide individual, family and group counseling services. They offer support groups for victims of sexual assault and domestic violence. Services include:
10 free sessions of counseling for victims and non-offending family members
Crisis intervention services
Advocacy
Support groups
Accompaniment to medical exam, law enforcement interview, and/ or accompaniment to court
All sexual assault services are free and confidential
Does sexual assault have to be reported?
No. Adults may choose not to report to law enforcement. However, if a minor discloses sexual assault, a report MUST be made to law enforcement or Child Protective Services (CPS).
I am in the United States and undocumented, what can I do?
If you are/were a victim of sexual assault, but are/were here undocumented, know you still have rights. You cannot be deported if you report sexual assault to law enforcement.
I have been sexually assaulted, what do I do?
A survivor of sexual assault has the right to:
Report to law enforcement
Choose not to report or report at a later time (valuable evidence may be lost)
Request an Advocate and a support person of your choice during the medical exam and interview process
Choose to participate in all or part of the medical exam and interview
A free Abbreviated Exam (exam with NO police report or investigation)
If you have been Sexually Assaulted:
Get to a safe place or call 9-1-1
Do not shower, bathe, douche or change clothes
Do not eat, drink, smoke, or brush your teeth
Do not touch anything the perpetrator may have touched
If you are in need of medical attention, please go to the nearest hospital or emergency room
Disclaimer: Hospitals, medical doctors, and nurses are mandated reporters in California, so a report will be made if you disclose you have been sexually assaulted. If you do NOT want to make a report, but still want to collect evidence, there is still another option. If you do not want to collect evidence and need medical attention, you may go to your primary doctor and get a wellness checkup.
Reporting Options:
1. Report to Law Enforcement
Reports can be made at any time
2. Report anonymously (through the Rape Crisis Center)
Abbreviated Exam: Victims of sexual assault who do NOT want to file a police report, but may want to report later, have the right to a free forensic exam where a trained nurse can collect evidence. This exam is called an Abbreviated Exam. Call the 24-hour Bilingual Hotline 1-800-300-2181 and be connected to a Sexual Assault Counselor that can speak to you about your options.
3. Choose not to Report. You have a choice to report or not
*It is never too late to report. You can still report sexual assault even if time has passed!*