Every year at around this time, Residential Life sees an uptick in conflict among roommates and residents in our residential communities.  To prepare for this, we have individual conversations with students (OWU Chats) about conflict management skills they can use when they inevitably encounter conflict in their daily lives.  Additionally, we post conflict management information on every floor and encourage roommate groups to complete a roommate agreement, which provides them with a platform to discuss points of conflict in a living situation we typically see each year.  

Regardless of these efforts, there will be students who do not know how to navigate a conflict they are experiencing.  If you are interacting with a student who is experiencing conflict in their living environment, here are some things you can encourage them to try: 

• Talk to the person with whom you are in conflict.  This is best done in-person and not via social media, text, email, or any other written format.

• Understand there is likely another perspective of the conflict that you do not yet understand, so be prepared to listen to the other person’s thoughts and feelings on the issue.  

• Talk from your own perspective, and do not represent others’ thoughts and feelings.  Use statements such as, “I feel like..” or “when you do that it makes me feel…”, or “I would like…”

• Be a calming agent throughout the conversation.  Conflict management will only be successful if all parties can contribute equally and escalation of the conversation can be avoided.  Remain calm, avoid accusations or assigning motives, and try to express how the situation impacts you without raising voices or increasing tension.  

• Compromise whenever possible.  There is likely a middle ground between what both parties need or want in the situation.  Most conflicts are resolved by finding an agreeable solution where both parties get what they need, but not everything they want.    

If a student has tried these things but has not been able to resolve the conflict, encourage them to speak with their Resident Assistant or Moderator.  Our student leaders have been trained in conflict mediation and can both assist the student in navigating the conflict or can help serve as a mediator between the two parties in conflict with one another.