I would encourage you to stop jumping into removing negative feelings for your children too quickly but spend some time to empathise with their big and scary feelings.

Here are some steps you can take:

1. Listen for negative self-talk. This could be words that sounds very much like "I can't...", "I'm not...", "I am (negative associations)".

2. Close the physical distance between you and them, and look them in their eyes.

3. Repeat what they said, empathise that they are feeling in a certain way and quickly add one word to show you believe in them.

4. Ask one question to get them to open up.

5. Brainstorm another way together.

An example:

Child: "I am not good in cycling, I can't seem to get it right."

Parent closes the physical distance, looks the child in the eyes.

Parent: "Hey buddy, it sounds like you are finding cycling difficult and it must be disappointing at times when you can't seem to get it right. I like how you are noticing ways to master cycling and that you are not giving up yet."

"Tell me more what do you need help in? Is it the pedalling or controlling of the handles?"

"It's really awesome that you are noticing these, let's find ways to do this together and I'll be there to catch you should you fall."

The usage of the word "yet" is a powerful one whenever you respond to their negative self-talk. Empathise, use "yet" and support them with a solution.