Additional Resources

Conflict has been studied and researched and there are so many tools and frameworks available. Here is a collection of resources that can help you dig deeper into managing conflict for positive change.

Non-Violent Communication

Non-Violent Communication is a 4-step communication model developed by Marshall B. Rosenberg. It's basic tenants are about how to communicate with someone in a non-violent manner to express your feelings a needs.

Observations: State in 1 sentence what happened without any judgment or generalizations.
Feelings: Get in touch with your emotions. Look at the NVC Feelings Inventory (pages 4-5) and find 3 words to describe how you are feeling. (I feel / I felt...)
Needs: Clarify your needs by honing in on what you value. Look at the NVC Needs Inventory (page 6) and find 3 words to describe what you need right now. (Because of my need for... / Because I value...)
Requests: Make a request - a realistic, doable, appeal! (So would you be willing to...?)

Example: (observation) I notice that you didn't do the dishes for the third night in a row. (feelings) I feel aggravated, puzzled and wary (needs) because of my need for support, communication and equality, (request) would you be willing to do your dishes each day?

Dig deeper with this packet which helps explore how to non-violently phrase feelings and needs.

Remember! You can not control others, you can express your needs and feelings and make a request. The other person will respond how they will. Using non-violent communication can be more inviting and specific.

Conflict Style Overview

Get a quick (less then 3 minute!) explanation of the Thomas Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument is based on a five-category scheme for classifying interpersonal conflict-handling modes: competing, collaborating, compromising, avoiding, and accommodating.

Conflict Styles Assessment

Take the United States Institute for Peace Conflict Style Assessment to learn more about your tendencies in reacting to conflict.

Conflict Style & Degree of Concern for Relationships and Issues

We all have a default way of responding to conflict, but through self-awareness and reflection we can stretch ourselves to respond more intentionally. In this model it suggests a conflict response based on you level of concern for the relationship as well as your level of concern for the issue or goal.

(adopted from Caritas Peacebuilding Manual, 2000)

Managing Classroom Behavior .mov

Faculty: Addressing Behavior Inside the Classroom

This short video provides some tips for faculty managing their classroom by setting expectations and tips on how to effectively follow up when someone isn't meeting expectations.

One Love Foundation

One Love Foundation has a ton of resources about healthy (and unhealthy) relationships. Part of a healthy relationship is being able to address and navigate conflict with friends, family, partners.

Loving Kindness (Metta bhavana) Meditation

link to a recording of a loving kindness mediation

"Stay Safe From Hate"

The Asian American Federation put together this booklet of resources about deescalating and addressing conflict offered in English, simplified Chinese, traditional Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Tagalog, and Vietnamese.