Here are some nice things to do for a Parent whose child is struggling

Advice from Michelle Icard

• Ask them to go for a walk. Offer to listen and tell them you won't probe with questions. Just let them brain-dump.

• Be a vault. If they tell you details, keep them to yourself unless you have permission to share. 

• Take a chore off their list. Walk the dog or drop off food. A meal or even some groceries to make packing lunches easier can be a huge relief. 

• Offer to talk with the child. Offer once. DON'T PUSH. Be clear if there are certain boundaries to uphold. 

• Help them find their whisper network or parents who've had a similar experience. 

• Tell them that even if you don't know the right thing to say, you want them to know you're on their team/thinking of them/in solidarity.

• Say explicitly, "I would never judge you or your child. This is a normal part of life. "

• Remind them which of their child's qualities you like best.

• Remind them you are there to listen and commiserate if they need to vent about their child's difficult qualities to you. 

• Normalize setbacks: Everyone hits bumps in the road. Yes, just a part of life, not a reflection of who you are. 

• Don't overdramatize your friend's experience. Don't "press the bruise" and bring it up every time you see them. Talk about other things.

• Don't ask them to share other people's experiences in confidence.

• Don't treat their child any differently.