Emotional Intelligence

Have you ever been stuck trying to fix a bug when there is a looming deadline, and despite feeling frustrated, anxious, or panicked, you thought, “What can I do to get through this?”

If you have, then you are showing signs of emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is defined as: One’s ability to identify, name, and regulate emotions. You are probably familiar with how people sometimes use IQ as a way to refer to someone's traditional intelligence. For short, one’s emotional intelligence is called one’s EQ. A person with high EQ,

can first recognize their frustration, anxiety, and panic, before finding a way to calm down before moving forward. A person with low EQ, on the other hand, might be unable to recognize or manage their emotions, and in turn might lose motivation and avoid the task completely, or take their emotions out on themselves or even others.

While technical knowledge certainly matters, research shows that developing our EQ is crucial for success in our learning, career and other endeavors. But just like any other skill, we can develop our EQ through practice. Start by stepping back so that you can approach the situation strategically by noticing what you’re feeling and coming up with a plan for how to respond. Practice being aware of your emotions. Recognize that you are feeling an emotion, even if you don’t know its exact name. It could just be “I feel like mush” or “I feel like I’ll never get this”. However you decide to name your emotions, acknowledging how you feel is the first step to getting through the challenge. After that, you can start planning what to do next. When feeling overwhelmed or frustrated, you could take a moment for yourself, write about it,

or seek support and feedback from someone you trust when you are ready. Emotional intelligence can also help us get through challenging moments that arise when working with others. Technical knowledge alone will not move a team forward.

So how can we develop our EQ to make us better collaborators and get through challenges? One important strategy is to practice taking different perspectives. You can do this by demonstrating empathy and engaging in active listening. If a teammate is struggling to finish their part of a project, you might be aware you feel a little annoyed. But instead of getting derailed by your emotions, you could see the situation from their perspective by practicing empathy and work on your active listening to focus on what your teammate is struggling with. Practicing these strategies of perspective taking not only improves your EQ, but also helps you and your team find a way forward.

So with all that said, developing your emotional intelligence isn’t about ignoring your emotions. It’s a way of gaining agency in a difficult situation so that you can effectively and constructively move towards solving the problem at hand.

This week, stop and notice the emotions around you, whether they are your own or those of others. Remember, tuning into your emotions can be just as important as working on the tech itself. So take the chance to practice your EQ the next time you find yourself saying, “What can I do to get through this?”