Ranking Letters of the Alphabet

You should already know that all letters in the English alphabet are not created equal, so I have put together a list of all of the English letters ranked in order of importance to the English language. 

26: Q

Q is just so wrapped up in itself, that I, an outsider, can even tell that it is not a fond figure among the other letters. They seem to be hinting to us that they are not happy being stuck with Q as the first letter, take the word “Qats” for example (Rats), and don’t be surprised that “Quit” starts with Q. Longest word starting with Q: Quarrelsomeness.

25: J

J is a letter that has many words that bring feelings of disgust, because that’s just the type of letter J is. Take words like: Jerk, Jif, or LL Cool J. Longest Word: Juxtapositional. 

24: Z

I honestly feel bad for Z really. It's common knowledge that Z was only ever created to rhyme with V, and most English speaking countries pronounce it “Zed”, so they’re getting even less out of Z. Longest word starting with Z: Zoogeographical.

23: X

X is nearly only used for misspellings of words, Xtreme, Xtra, and Xamine just to name a few. X does mark the spot, the number 23 spot that is. Longest X word: Xeroradiography.

22: V

V is one of the most boring letters of the alphabet, especially because it is extremely hard to come up with many V words that start with V other than “very” off the top of your head. Yeah, I didn't think so. Longest V word: Venturesomeness.

Now that we are near the middle of the list, I am going to start looping letters in with each other, especially the ones that I can’t go either way on.

21-19: K,W,Y.

I’m looping these letters in with each other because they are the three letters that I can’t lean either way on. They barely have any words that they start, but they make good secondary letters. Longest K,W,Y word: Kwyba.

18: F.

Poor F, he is always being copied by other mean letters (*cough* Ph and Gh (*cough*)who should just mind their own business. Everyone uses F to pay respects to people, but what about F itself? Longest F word: Fundamentalists.

17-16: B,G

These two letters are two of the most overrated letters in the entire alphabet, you may think that these letters are at least more frequently used than the letter H, but you would be dead wrong. Longest B,G word: Bureaucratizing.

15: H

H is more important than you may realize, from happy to hinted to hand, to hilarious, H is one of the fundamental letters of the alphabet. Although! It is hard to find a word where H is a secondary letter, and isn't right next to T. Longest H word: Homogeneousness. 

14-12: M,P,D

Although M is the first letter of my name, this is an objectively true list that is purely fact. So it comes near the middle of the list. As for P and D, they do most of the dirty work. Poop, pee, dookie, and doody are just a few of the words that P and D have to deal with. Longest M,P,D word: Mpdram

11-10: U,C

U and C are both letters that sound like words, U is “you”, and C is “see” and “sea”. Other than that, they are good, but not mind blowing letters, and that is Undoubtedly Correct. Longest U,C word: Coeducational.

9-6: L,S,N,T

This is the last grouping of letters on this list, and these letters are some of the best consonants in the alphabet, these letters, although not vowels, are super OP. The word “list” has L,S,and T in it. Also, the word “rankings” contains N and S. Sometimes, these four letters can even outnumber the amount of vowels in a word. Longest L,S,N,T word: Lexicalizations.

5: O

O doesn't look that interesting at first, until you see some of it’s cool words. Octopus, Openhandedness, Obbligati, and Offishnesses are just a few. Longest O word: Openmouthedness.

4: I

I is Iconic. It’s what we call ourselves when we say “(person) and I”. Or you would say “(person) and me” if you were not Intellegent. Look at a random word generator, and I bet that it will show you a word that contains I. Longest I word: Immunocompetent.

3: R

Some letters before this may have been everywhere, R is just a comically common letter. Although, R does not get as much recognition as a frontrunning letter like I,O,or T may have. This is because R is more of a secondary letter than a starting letter. Therefore, R has Revolutionised the way that we value letters. We can all agree that “are” is an extraordinarily important word in the English alphabet, it sounds like the letter R, but it doesn't start with R. It lets A shine. This is the way that R improves upon others, to create such amazing words. Longest R word:

Rechromatograph.

2: A

Although A is #1 in alphabetical order, it is only #2 in the FACTUAL

order of this list. A is the first letter of the alphabet, and the word “alphabet”. A has always been #1, so hopefully this isn't too hard of a pill to swallow for A. Everyone around A always told it that it was unrivaled, the alpha, the executive #1 letter. I hate to be the one to break it to him, but according to my calculations, A is only the second most important letter of the alphabet. On the bright side, A is one of the only two letters (along with “I”) that can be a word all on it’s own. Therefore, A is technically a word as well as a letter; how crazy is that? It’s just that our #1 is such a lingual icon. Longest A word: Anthropophagous. 

1: E

Where do I even get started with E? E is a letter, a meme, a song, a lifestyle, and come to think of it, I get Elated just thinking about E! Ebay, the Environment, Europe, Everything starts with E. Without E, there would be no Entertainment, no Electronics, no Entrance nor Exit, no Earth, no Existence, no Elvis, no Nothing! Oh wait… Longest E word: Echinodermatous.

Well, we sure have learned a thing or two about letters in the English language, so I hope you enjoy my new alphabet, based on my rankings: E,A,R,I,O,T,N,S,L,C,U,D,P,M,H,G,B,F,Y,W,K,V,X,Z,J,Q. 

“Now I know my E-A-Rs, next time wont you sing...on Mars?”