Much like the emergency breathing device on a plane, it's so important you start with yourself. Core to Dr Louie Gardiner’s work is the idea that by attending to ourselves we are more resourced to attend to others. Furthermore, it often helps to have our own experiences of mindfulness, this way not only are we better equipped to teach it but we begin to appreciate the benefits ourselves. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

• • Experiment with meditation and breathing into your body in a moment. There are LOTS of free apps and free sites. Some of these include:

    • Insight timer app

    • Minderful app

  • Tuning into your feelings without judgement. I sometimes ask myself, if compassion and kindness were a person right now what would they say to me?

  • I know this is not directly a mindfulness practice, but a practice I love is by Elizabeth Gilbert. She writes in a journal and starts with the sentence ‘Dear love, what would you have me know in this moment?’.

  • I know I eat quickly as I am getting from one activity to another. It’s hard to drink tea or coffee quickly, so take a moment, take some breaths and drink slowly. Bring your attention and awareness to your drink, to yourself, in this moment.

  • At moments when I have been overwhelmed, I sometimes keep things simple and do 5,4,3,2,1. 5 things I see right now; 4 I hear; 3 I feel; 2 I smell and 1 I taste.

  • Journaling can also be a great way of coming into the moment. Writing what am I noticing in this moment, around me and in me?

  • A reminder that all I need to do, is what I am attending to in this moment. Like mopping the floor, writing an email etc. There is no where else to be and nothing else to do. Also I can't actually do two things at once, so I might as well be fully present to this task.

  • Make time to be. Be in nature. Be by yourself. Just be.

• During the day, especially during the holidays, you may want to invite your child to take a moment. Here are some ideas:

  • Take your shoes off together and put your feet on grass in the garden. Invite your child to tune into their senses, especially touch. For some this may be tricky, especially neuro diverse children. Go gently. Maybe even the air on their skin or the sounds around them.

  • Crafting together is a way of creating an opportunity to be together, get off devices and have some quiet time. A craft most kids enjoy, is adaptable to different ages/levels and encourages slowing down is origami. I usually buy a large packet of origami paper from the Works for £5. It doesn’t need to be fancy paper! Here are some great links to various origami practices.

    • How To Make a Paper Fortune Teller - EASY Origami (Ref: PPO)

    • Origami Deer 🦌 bookmark 😍 #origami #diy #deer (Ref: Creative Crafts by Fozi)

Easy Origami Bunny (Ref: Red Ted Art (Maggy Woodley)) 

• When you are at the table, or having a snack invite your child to experiment with eating quickly and eating slowly. What do they notice is different? A lot of kids I have worked with say their food tastes better. Mindful eating is about being present to taste, to smell and to the texture of food. 

• Belly breathing is a key practice of mindfulness. It helps us slow down, gives us a moment to come back to ourselves and respond rather than be reactive. Encouraging your child to breath into a moment of anxiety, fear or even anger can be helpful. I often say to kids its ok to be angry, it’s what we do with it that matters. Slowing down, breathing into our feelings can support us to work out what we need in this moment.

• Getting ready for school can be one of the hardest times of the day for some families. I know I found this hard when my kids were young. Dr Gardiner (Attending, Responding, Becoming) says ‘Interventions are experiments with uncertain consequences’, so here I offer some ‘interventions’ to experiment with! 

  • Prepare as much as you can the night before and ask your little people to help (if they can).

  • Encourage everyone to go to sleep early. The more sleep they get the better. That means no devices at least an hour before bedtime.

  • Wake up early so you can give yourself plenty of time.

  • Start with attending to yourself. Do what you need for yourself first before attending to others. 

  • Breath when you are stressed. This will help you and model to your kids how you manage through tricky moments.

  • Breath together. You can stand back-to-back with arms outstretched like a star and breath together. 

  • If they are old enough talk through the night before, what can we do to support you into school better?

  • Come back to each moment, what do you need, what do they need in this moment?

  • When we are attached to an outcome, we are not in the moment. Come back to now, yourself and your child. What do they need now? What do you need now?

  • Once they are off to school, give yourself a moment to recalibrate! Breath. What do you need now before moving into the next part of your day?

Transitioning from one situation to another can often be difficult for children. I know giving kids a warning (we are leaving in 10 minutes, 5 minutes, now) is a tried and tested practice but what mindfulness practices can we lean into to help us when transitioning from one situation to another? I offer some ideas to experiment with.

• • Ask your child to tune into their feelings. What are they feeling right now? Where in their body? It’s ok to feel disappointed in this moment. What colour is their disappointment? What could we say to disappointment? For example, I know you want to stay at the park longer and I promise we will come back another day.

  • Tune into their thoughts. What are they thinking right now? 

  • What would help them in this moment?

  • Let’s take a belly breath together.

  • All there is to do is this next single step. Nothing else. I’m here with you.

  • I often say to kids, I know you can do hard things. I will usually give evidence of what I have seen them do before. So I know you can do this.

Some transitions are small (like leaving the park) but others can be bigger (like going back to school after a long summer holiday). Some kids love change, while others may find it deeply uncomfortable. You may find your child starting to be a bit more sensitive or dysregulated in the lead up to the big day. What am I noticing? Holding this question is a key practice in mindfulness as it brings us to the present moment. Maybe take note of what you are noticing in your child. A repeated behavioural pattern, or ‘loud’ emotions may be them telling you they are scared, they need more support. If they are older enough engage with them. What are they feeling? Can they tune into it? Remind them, right now they are safe. You may want to use the 5 things you can see. (see 5,4,3,2,1) You are in this room, with me, sitting on a blue chair, wearing a purple dress, with blue shoes. Coming back to what you see now, is a way of coming into this moment. If they are worried about tomorrow, then again you may want to offer up what you both know to be true – you will walk into school tomorrow, I will walk with you, you will see Sam, you will see your new teacher MrGreen, and the receptionist Mrs Yellow. One step at a time we will do this. 

• When I ask kids at the end of a Mindfulness Programme, what they think they will continue to practice beyond the programme, the most popular answer is the body scan, especially at bedtime. I fall asleep pretty easily but when I wake up at night I can be staring at the ceiling for what feels like hours. I tend to lean into the body scan in these moments. It more often than not helps me…or at least takes my attention and awareness away from the ceiling!

• Please find below a great video I often show the kids. Some think this is hilarious! Most seem to like it. The Body Scanner! Mindfulness for Children (Ref: The Mindfulness Teacher)

• You can talk a child through this yourself when it is time to go to sleep. You can also teach them to talk themselves through it. The key is to go slowly.

• I recently read about an Australian study on adolescents and the impact of poor sleep on mental health. In the study of more than 500 young people aged 11 to 16 years old, poor sleep predicted increases in generalised anxiety, social anxiety, depression and eating disorders. While a number of factors are at play, and there are a number of strategies that can help (no devices at least an hour before bed, repeated bed rituals), what I had also read in another study, was that ‘listening to a 15-minute mindfulness body scan a night halved the time taken (for adolescents) to fall asleep’ contributing to more sleep across an average night. If you start to give your kids some tools now that support good sleep, then they may be more likely to lean into them as they get older.

References

Richardson, C., Magson, N. R., Oar E., Fardouly, J., Johnco, C., Freeman, J., & Rapee, R. M., (2024) Repetitive Negative Thinking Mediates the Relationship Between Sleep Disturbance and Symptoms of Generalized Anxiety, Social Anxiety, Depression, and Eating Disorders in Adolescence: Findings From a 5-Year Longitudinal Study. Clinical Psychological Science, 1-24.

Gradisar, M., Kahn, M., Micic, G. et al. (2022) Sleep’s role in the development and resolution of adolescent depression. Nature Reviews Psychology v1, 512–523.