Love Bracelet

Going to summer camp was like meeting forty-nine carbon copies of the same girl. They were popular at home, beautiful on the outside, bitchy, and overall, fake. I tried to fit in, but constantly embarrassed myself when trying to talk to new people. But there was one person who always fit in and never seemed to make a fool of herself.

I’m not sure why Jordyn piqued my interest most given that I barely knew her. We never really talked until we were fourteen, when the entire division moved into one cabin. There were only eight toilets, eight sinks, and eight showers so it was a lot to try and go to the bathroom or wash my face when it was constantly crowded. Wooden cubbies lined the walls, filled to the brim with messy clothes. Everybody had a bunk bed. I was on the bottom bunk closest to the bathroom, and Jordyn was on the bottom bunk to my right. We shared a small space between both of our beds and it was always a mess. The small walkway was filled with her junk, which mostly consisted of crop tops, jean shorts, and occasionally her seductive underwear and bras. I never asked her to clean up. It did make me wonder why somebody would need that many sexy clothing items when we were playing sports or doing arts and crafts most days. Yet, I got jealous. I had never owned crop tops or fancy Victoria Secret lace underwear.

To me, Jordyn seemed like the definition of beautiful. She was tall but not a giant, had luscious brunette locks, and most important, confidently flaunted her body. Jordyn would walk around naked in the bunk all the time. I was repulsed. Jordyn would brag yet complain about her butt and her chest the most. She would always moan and groan about how it was always hurting as I stared down at my average-sized chest, disappointed I couldn’t look like her. But as I got to know her, it wasn’t her looks or body that I was curious or even cared about. As I sat with my head in a book or writing a letter to my family, I would constantly hear conversations like this: “Oh my god! What a bitch! Who cares if you have gotten with three guys at a social? I can get with more. I’m way prettier than her. Next week, I’m going to get with five guys!”

Two things. First off, I was scared. How was she allowed to curse at this age? I was just discovering that it was somewhat okay to say “damn,” and “crap,” without getting reprimanded by an adult. Second, I was disgusted and slightly concerned. I had never kissed a guy before, and getting with five guys in a night seemed a little extreme for my fourteen-year-old head to comprehend. I was scared to even say hi to a boy at that age. In that moment, I wished I had her confidence.

As the summer went on, I overheard many of Jordyn’s conversations that were similar. Examples include: “I’m skipping my activity because I don’t feel like going,” or “She is literally pissing me off like shut the fuck up I don’t care,” yet nothing was as shocking as what I overheard during Visiting Day. Visiting Day is one of the best days at camp. Parents run down a steep hill to their girls, carrying vibrant bags from Lesters and Mixology filled with new clothes, replacement water bottles, sunscreen, food, and candy. We weren’t allowed to keep any food in our bunks, so Visiting Day was like a gift from the heavens. Parents would go all out with bringing anything and everything to their little girls. One night I was talking with Jordyn and some other girls. There were about five of us and we all sat on Jordyn’s and my bed as we talked about getting surprises and candy in a couple of days.

“I’m so excited. My parents are bringing up my baby!” Jordyn exclaimed.

I was slightly confused as to what “baby” she was referring to because I didn’t think she was a mother at fourteen. I assumed it was a stuffed animal named Baby or maybe a pet.

“What is she bringing up? I asked.

“My Love Bracelet!” she squealed.

This sounded like alien language. Being somebody whose interests were quite different from the rest of my peers, I had no idea what a Love Bracelet was.

“Not to sound stupid Jordyn, but what is a Love Bracelet?” I asked. She aggressively whipped her head in my direction and gave me a death stare. Then she started giggling.

“You don’t know? Of course you don’t know. It’s so iconic. It’s like my pet, I have to take care of it and my parents are bringing it up to me so I can visit it,” she proclaimed.

The other girls looked at me like I had four heads. Clearly, they all knew what this bracelet that Jordyn was talking about was and why it was important. Was it a Jewish thing that I didn’t know about? Was I not a true Jewish girl if I didn’t have this bracelet? Eventually, it was flashlight time, and the lights slowly dimmed. The pitch-black was quickly lit up by fifty little lights. I softly closed my eyes. We only had one more night until I could see my parents.

We had to wake up extra early that morning to make sure our bunk was spotless, and we weren’t allowed to see our parents until the bunk was perfect. We ran to the hill and saw the sea of parents running to their kids. I saw my parents at the top of the hill, and my sister and I sprinted like marathon runners. My family and I made our way back to my bunk first to unpack all of my food and clothes. While we were sitting on my bed, Jordyn and her parents were next to me. I always wondered what her parents looked like yet I remember them just looking like normal adults. They were both wearing athletic clothes, not name-brand jewelry or fancy clothes. I peered over as I saw a red, velvety box with gold accents. Cartier, the box read with golden script. Jordyn began to sniffle as she opened the box and took the bracelet out of the bag.

“Hi, my beautiful! Oh, I missed you so much! Oh jeez, there is dust on it. Mom! You have to monitor the only thing I care about and you did a shitty job!”

She proceeded to take a tissue and slowly wipe the edges of the bracelet so there was no “dust” on it. She then began to kiss the bracelet and start cuddling with it like an animal. This interaction was by far the strangest thing I’d ever witnessed. I had never seen somebody go to such lengths to talk about and connect to an inanimate object. I later learned that the bracelet cost a little less than $7,000. When I asked my mom about it, she was appalled that a middle schooler even owned one. It still shocks me that somebody would go to these lengths just to see a bracelet for five hours. I understand that it is important to reunite with things like your phone or a piece of clothing you forgot at home, but a bracelet? Weird. Her parents drove from New York City to Maine, and the only thing that Jordyn cared about was seeing that bracelet. The funniest thing was, her parents didn’t care. I assume she was like this at home. Camp just brought out a more extreme version of her: a more braggy, intense, spoiled version. Or so I thought.

The next summer, Jordyn invited us to her house in the Hamptons after camp ended. Twenty of us stayed at her house. For two days, we spent our final moments as a division before parting ways for the year. It was all a little bougie but I got to witness camp Jordyn turn into school Jordyn. She constantly yelled at her parents, was very protective over certain areas of the house, and made sure everything was to her liking. She didn’t even sleep with us, she slept alone in her room. I began to think my assumptions were true, that she was still a spoiled brat at home. However, I was wrong. On the day we all went home, there was a problem with my ticket for the Jitney. The bus driver wouldn’t let me get on because my mom put the wrong stop for pickup. I sat on a bench in an unfamiliar environment, hysterically crying. As I blew my nose on my tank top, I didn’t know what to do. I frantically picked up the phone and dialed her number.

“Hello?”

“Jordyn, it's Hilary. I’m stranded at the bus stop and I have nowhere to go. What do I do?” I heard the muffled voice of Jordyn and her mom as I nervously paced around the bench.

“Five minutes. My mom and I are coming.” I breathed a huge sigh of relief. As I got in her mom’s car and explained myself, Jordyn hugged me and comforted me. We got back to her house as the fresh smell of bagels and cream cheese wafted through the air. She sat with me by the pool and instead of making the conversation about her, she kept asking about me and just listened to my problems. She gave me advice about starting a new school, gave me hugs and took selfies with me. This was a different side of her than what she portrayed at camp. It finally hit me. Jordyn was a people pleaser; she showed the “perfect” parts of herself to the people she thought mattered the most. She has this real heart, full of love and truth, but chose to hide it because of what people might have thought. Why didn’t she just show this side of her at camp? Sure, she still complained and talked shit but there was something real, like the mask was finally being taken off. I was shocked to finally see this, despite listening to her every day by my bed for two summers.

I haven’t spoken to her in three years, but I am still grateful to her for letting me stay at her house and comforting me. At the end of the day, Jordyn was never mean to me. When people talked about her, I always defended her and took her side. I still don’t know why I even did that. Maybe the reason I was interested in her was that no matter how crazy or rude she was to others, she found some comfort in talking with me, and I truly found comfort in talking with her. I can’t say that Jordyn was even a close friend. Yet I feel that I learned a lot from her: how to act with specific groups of people, how to comfort a crying friend, and—the most important— what a Cartier Love Bracelet is.