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Why do we have emotions?

Emotions have many useful purposes, that we may not always recognize. Anger can motivate us and encourage us to take action when we are passionate about something. Anxiety/fear can alert of us danger and help us respond accordingly. Sadness can help us prioritize what is important to us. These are just a few examples of how specific emotions can be useful. Can you think of a useful purpose for more emotions? Emotions can also help us communicate with others.

For example, if you see someone crying you may check on them to see if they are ok. Your first thought is probably that they are sad or hurt. That brings us to our next question.....

How do we know what we (or others) are feeling?

This can sometimes take some investigating. It can be helpful to complete a body scan to assess our facial expression, body language, breathing, temperature, muscle tension, etc. It can also be helpful to assess our thoughts. These are the words we are telling ourselves.

For example; Imagine I am walking down the hall and wave to a friend. Instead of waving back they turn the other way without talking to me. I go about my day and realize that something doesn't feel right so I do a body scan. I realize that my hands are sweaty, my face feels warm, my heart is beating fast, I'm bouncing my leg up and down and I can't focus. I'm still not sure how I'm feeling so I assess my thoughts. I realize that ever since my friend didn't wave back I've been thinking "They must be mad at my about something. Maybe they don't want to be my friend any more." I now know that I am feeling ANXIOUS. This helps me decide what to do next. Maybe I will ask my friend if they're upset with me. Maybe I will do some deep breathing or talk to a friend.

We can use similar strategies when trying to read what someone else is feeling. We can assess their facial expressions and body language. This does not always give us accurate information so it can be helpful to ASK how someone is feeling.

For example; You notice a friend has their head down at lunch and isn't sitting with any of your friends. You could tell them what you noticed and ask how they are feeling. "I noticed you didn't sit by us at lunch, is everything ok? Can I help?"

Test your skills!

Use these tools figure out how the people in these videos are feeling:

Assess their facial expressions

Assess their body language

Investigate the situation

How to Regulate Emotions