From the Conscious Discipline Brain State Model:
In the Intro to Managing Stress and Upset, you will see a simplified model of the brain that can help us understand what's driving our behaviors. When we are stressed or upset or afraid, we downshift to the lower, reactionary brain centers losing access to the areas of our brain that help us learn and make wise decisions. These responses from our brain and body are designed to protect us, but we want to be able to move out of these states when they are not helping us. It can also be useful to notice these states in others so that we can better understand them and also help them bring their brains back on line. Bonus: if we cultivate the ability to become calm, the people around us are more likely to become calm.
The brain's primary basic need is SAFETY. When we are feeling unsafe, we may act out physically, want to run away, or withdraw. Activities that can help us are body-based practices like running or jumping, drumming or clapping, humming or singing, and assuring ourselves that we are indeed safe at this moment.
This is closely followed by the need for CONNECTION. When someone is in the emotional brain state, they may appear sassy, needy, or irritable. They are wondering who will be there for them and will most likely be unable to see the perspective of another. Activities that reinforce connections can help here - calling a friend, writing a letter or journaling, making time for one-on-one time with a child or another special person or animal, asking how they are feeling and validating that emotion, accepting how they or you are feeling without judgement.
Finally, the EXECUTIVE state represents a brain and body that are regulated and integrated and ready to take in information, respond as needed, and make better decisions. This is the optimal state for learning and is hard to maintain under distressful circumstances!
In the handout you will also find instructions for 6 powerful practices from finger breathing to mindful walking to a link to a body scan to starting a gratitude journal that you can try or share with others.
The second resource is a Toolkit for Well-Being from the Sky Center in Santa Fe. It lists six proven antidotes to help us when we are feeling stressed or upset. These are all activities or attitudes that build resilience if you can weave them into your daily life. They can also be used as an intervention in the moment when you are feeling bad. I'm sure you will have ideas of your own to add to your toolkit!
Social Connection
Self-Regulation
Mindful Awareness
Optimism
Physiological Well-Being
Nature
Finally, per special request, many of us love this reminder graphic of Six Ways to Practice Grounding. Print and post!