Dating

They cute, right?

I get it, you're entering into your teenage years and alot of things are changing. You hit puberty and your hormones and emotions start going a little outta wack and you may start taking an even greater interest in wanting to date and get to know other people on a different level. It is the general consensus of most people that the age of 15 or 16 is the best age to begin dating. This is due to maturity level, your hormones and emotions are more stable, you know more about yourself and you're more confident in who you are becoming, you understand boundaries, and you start paying attention more to character rather than appearance or giving in to peer-pressure.
Always talk to your parent/guardian about dating and when they think is the right time.

Things to consider

Character > Appearance

Who are they by word & action.
"Don't judge books (or person) by their cover."

Boundaries

Make sure your boundaries are clearly stated. No means no. Maybe does not mean yes. Set times to talk or get together vs expecting it to happen all the time. Does your partner have certain expectations about your relationship? Do you?

Commitment

Just like you commit to building your friendships up. You commit to your one person until, or if, the relationship ends.

Honesty & Integrity

Be honest from the beginning and be willing to hear the truth.

Good Communication

Express your thoughts, emotions, the need for a break with your partner. Just because someone said something, doesn't make it true. Use active listening and take turns talking without yelling.

Trust & Mercy

All relationships take honesty, allowing each other to make mistakes, working on doing better for each other, showing you're for real at fixing your part in the relationship, and offering mercy and forgiveness when appropriate. No relationship is ever perfect. You will disappoint each other sometimes.

Don't date or ask someone out just because your friends said you should.

It's not a game to mess with peoples thoughts or emotions. Just because someone says they think you'd be cute together or just because someone says so and so likes you. Doesn't automatically mean you should date.

Relationships are difficult

Just like all relationships, they take work.

It's not rude to say "I'm not interested in dating right now." or "I'm not into you like that, but, I enjoy being friends."

Like we stated before. Honesty first. But be careful on how you say no. Watch your tone and attitude. Be polite and respectful.

Relationships should not be based on your emotions. Choosing to love someone is more than emotion.

People like being liked. Sometimes it feels like "butterflies" in your stomach. Sometimes it's a racing heart. Other times it feels like comfort and safety. But emotions are not the reason to be in a relationship. Emotions change faster than people's actions or character.

Your partner is not your property. He or She is an unique person with different perspectives, schedules, goals, and boundaries.

This goes back to setting boundaries and honoring one another. Your partner doesn't exist for you and you don't exist for your partner. You compliment rather than complete each other. You each have separate lives that just so happen to be intertwined at the moment when/if you're dating. You don't have to text every day all the time. Again, this person is not meant to fulfill all your needs or wants.

Your relationship status isn't anyone else's buisness outside of your parent/guardian.

Your parent/guardian should know if you are dating but who you're dating or if you're not is not anyone else's business or entertainment. This isn't a show. It's real life. No one needs to know all the details of your relationship status.

Everyone goes through break-ups and rejection. If they aren't interested they have the right to say no and if it's not working out, allow the other person to leave; even though it hurts.

Don't attach too much of your self worth, identity or value in being in a relationship. You are still you whether you are with someone or not. Respect the other person's no if they say they aren't interested. If the two of you aren't able to work out your problem, even after a short break, you may break-up. Even though it hurts, know that break-ups, in dating are normal. If you do break-up. Do not automatically jump into a new relationship. Give yourselves time to heal.

If you're a friend of someone who just went through a break-up. Don't attack the ex. Be there for your friend.

Again, friend, it was their relationship. Not yours. Do not go confront your friend's ex because they decided to break-up. It will create more problems and your friend doesn't want more problems nor do they want you to fix it. They just want you to be their friend and bring them comfort and be a listening ear. Don't make up information or bully or harrass the ex in person or online.

Listen to your close friends and relatives. If they feel something is off in your relationship; listen to advice.

Sometimes your friends may get a "vibe" about your partner. Perhaps relatives, other adults in your life, or your friends may have a different perspective than you do on your relationship; because they aren't in it, they can be more unbiased. Listen and learn from your relatives and respected adults in life who have been through dating before.

Your worth and value as a person is not dependent on being in a relationship. You always have worth/value.

Remember, regardless of what someone says, how you feel, or whatever may happen in or outside of a relationship. You still have an identity, worth, and value. Many people are upset or feel "depressed" after a break up, but, this does not mean that life is over or that you'll never find "the one" or that you'll be alone forever. None of that is truth.
Life will continue to go on, you'll heal, you'll use your coping skills, you'll talk it out with people you trust, and you'll get back to focusing your energy on other things that are important to you.

What are the signs of a healthy vs unhealthy relationship?

To Learn about: Red Flags and Dating Violence (click here)

Polite | Responsible | Integrity | Disciplined | Encourage