Reflection 2 - October 27
I'm about midway through my running plan this semester. My time has decreased by 5 minutes. Yay! To be honest, it has been easier than I thought it would be. By paying attention to my stride, form, and breathing, my time has decreased without strenuous effort. I know cutting the final four minutes from my time will be harder than the first five, but it feels great to be making progress with my goals.
I'm learning that having running goals can be a double-edged sword. In the past, I have used running as a way to zone-out and clear my head. With music playing, I just go until I've hit 5 kilometers. It's cathartic not to think about anything except the rhythm of the music and the tempo of my feet hitting the pavement. There have been times in the past two months when I’ve felt unmotivated to focus on my breathing or my stride. At school, I focus on the details of editing papers and close-readings for class, so sometimes, I just want to run without nitpicking my technique. I feel the need to take a break for being hyper-focused on critiquing myself. Can’t I be satisfied with just getting out there to run? I used to say, “any run is a good run,” so it’s frustrating that I don’t have the same sense of accomplishment. There’s great satisfaction in both, but I’ve noticed the difference between the two recently.
In the next phase of my program, I’m going to add a notes column to the document where I’m saving screenshots of each run. I’m going to indicate which runs feel like training to my goal and which feel more therapeutic. I would like to keep track of this because I’m interested if there will be a change over time. Perhaps I will find a balance between the two? I think it will be a challenge to refrain from this either/or thinking. Maybe I could create a playlist in which all the songs are within an ideal range of beats per minute?