BrainWise

Wise Way #2: Constellation of Support

These are the people that we can go to for help when we have problems. We have many people in our constellation of support. Some we are close to such as family members, whereas others we may not know, such as police officers. We have to think about who would be the most helpful and most appropriate person based on the problem.

It is important to remember that our constellation is always changing. Someone who may not be a source of support for us now may become a very strong support for us in the future and vice versa.

Wise Way #3: Red Flag Warnings

These are signals that our body sends to warn us of a problem. They’re basically signals that our amygdala (emotions center) has been activated. If we don’t STOP AND THINK, and send the problem to our Wizard Brain, we’ll react with our Lizard Brain and have a fight, flight or freeze response. Internal red flag warnings are signals our body sends that we can feel happening to us but no one else can see. Examples are rapid heartbeat, butterflies or knots in our stomach, headache, lump in throat, etc. External red flag warnings are signals that can be seen by others such as clenched fists, tense muscles, facial expressions, stomping, etc. It is important that we recognize our own red flag warnings so that we can “stop and think” and use our Wizard Brain. It is also important that we recognize other’s red flag warnings, so that we can respond to them in a wise way.

Wise Way #4: Exit (or stay low) on the Emotions Elevator

The Emotions Elevator is an analogy for the intensity of our emotions. In BrainWise, our elevator can travel 10 floors. The lower floors represent less intense feelings of emotions, while higher floors represent stronger and more intense emotions. When we are high on our emotions elevator, it is very hard to think clearly, stay in control and use our Wizard Brain and we are much more likely to react with our Lizard Brain. Therefore, we want to recognize our red flag warnings and where we are on our elevator before trying to solve any problems. Problems cannot be solved wisely when one or both people are high on their elevator and it is always important to be lower on your elevator than the person or people you have a problem with.

Students learn ways to calm down when they are high on their elevators. Strategies such as Self Talk, Zip your Lip and Walk Away, Do Something Else, Deep Breathing and Relaxation Exercises are helpful ways to lower your emotions elevator.

Wise Way #5: Separate Fact from Opinion

Often, confusion between facts and opinions either cause or contribute to problems. We need to use our thinking skills (wizard brain) and STOP AND THINK to separate the two. Not having all the facts will often cause us to shoot up our emotions elevator and jump to conclusions that exasperate our problems. Confusing Fact with Opinion can also lead to gossip and rumors. We can look out for clues that opinions are being expressed by noticing words such as “always,” “never,” and “everybody” used in statements. Factual information can be obtained from people in our Constellation of Support and resources like books, libraries and the internet.

Wise Way #6: Ask Questions to get the Facts

We have to be able to STOP AND THINK to determine when we need to ask questions to gather useful and accurate information. In order to get the information we need, we must stay low on our elevator and ask questions that do not accuse or lay blame. We also have to think about the type of questions we are asking so that we make sure we are gathering facts, and not other’s opinions.

Wise Way #7: Identify your Choices

Lizard Brain only gives you one choice for solving a problem. It will tell you to fight the problem, run away from it, or do nothing and hope the problem goes away or doesn’t find you. But if you stop and think and lower your elevator, your wizard brain will give you many choices for solving problems and often the right choice isn’t the first one that pops into your head.

Wise Way #8: Consider the Consequences

We act without thinking in a variety of Lizard Brain ways that could be avoided by using thinking skills. Learning how to think about consequences before making a choice helps us make the best choice. We need to think about the consequences of our choices NOW and LATER, as well as how our choices will affect OTHERS.

Wise Way #9: Set Goals and Form an Action Plan

We all have things we want that we don’t have. We have problems that we want solved. We have to step back and think about what we want and how we’re going to achieve it. When problem solving, we need to set a goal and infuse all of the wise ways into our action plan.