Capstone has definitely been an experience. I went through ups, down, more ups, and so many more downs while in this class but ultimately, I think those challenges shaped me into the person I am now. The class really proved to me how much I was willing to deal with, even if my struggles were driving me insane. I started the year with the general topic of poverty and the goal of creating an in-person science program. Over the course of the year, I learned to accept that my original goals were lofty and unrealistic and, instead, I became more realistic and practical. My final project was one born out of time constraints and accessibility – a video series that I could work on at home. A large part of my project was understanding when and where to take responsibility. I didn’t miss deadlines because I was being irresponsible, I missed them because other people didn’t email me back. On the flip side, being unprepared for interviews or having unfinished projects was my fault because I neglected to take the necessary steps. The give and take of fault and responsibility has been something that I struggled with and Capstone helped me understand where that distinction was. 

My final project came as a surprise to me. One of my earliest ideas for my Capstone project was a video series documenting the life of immigrants in Syracuse. While the final project didn’t turn out that way, it’s still interesting to see a full circle moment. I returned to video format, whether I meant to or not. And, truth be told, I’m glad it did. Videos are more accessible, can reach a wider audience, and are generally the better option for a topic rooted in unequal access to resources. The failure that came with my project had its own upside – I learned to leave perfect and turn to complete. I used to be someone with several ideas. I’ve wanted to create blogs, picture-perfect gardens, write plays, make art, and so much more. All of those ideas were stopped by my fear of imperfection, which caused me to not do any of them. With Capstone, I had to prioritize getting something done, which meant that I couldn’t nitpick every little part of my project. That allowed me to be more creative and to just post. The videos didn’t need to be perfect, they just needed to be good. 

Leaving behind perfection was one of several steps that I took outside of my comfort zone. The class forced me to talk to strangers, both older and younger. I had to reach out to teachers, administration, parents, and other students, most of whom were complete strangers. I initially struggled with cold emailing. I hated the idea of bothering a stranger with a half-baked idea that may or may not work, which caused me to wait weeks before I would send out an email to a stranger. Now? I would happily email anyone because I learned to let go a little. While I still try to make sure the emails are as perfect as they can be, I also understand that getting in contact is far more important than wasting time on an email that might get sent straight to spam.

Learning to leave my comfort zone was an unwritten requirement. However, after a year of repeatedly doing so, I can confidently say that my comfort zone is successfully stretched. There are days where I shrink back into my shell but, ultimately, I’ve grown into a stronger, louder person of my community.