58.0 percent of males and 68.4 percent of females out of nearly 68,000 college students reported feeling "very lonely" within the past twelve months in 2019 (American College Health Association, 2019).
Everyone experiences loneliness from time to time, especially when they are transitioning to a new, uncertain, and potentially isolating environment such as college. Loneliness can happen when you feel like you don't have a social support system, whether that is friends or family. Humans are social creatures, and even though we may try to convince ourselves otherwise, we like to be around other people.
Making new friends in college is a difficult task, especially if you come from a smaller town or if you attended school with most of the same people for most of your life. Remember this: a majority of students on campus have experienced loneliness from time to time. Leaving behind your family and friends to live on your own for the first time is scary, but you can take some steps to help ease your loneliness while you get accustomed to a life away from your family and friends.
Poor sleep
Overreacting
The feeling of the inability to form connections
Lacking close friends or the feeling that close friends don't understand
Self-doubt or low self-worth
Experiencing burn-out after social interactions
Substance abuse issues
Feeling upset when alone
Feeling sad or anxious when alone
Feeling worse after being alone
Feeling tired after being alone
Join clubs dedicated to your topics of interest. IC has around 70 student organizations, clubs, and literary societies that you can join. You should always feel free to email student leaders of these groups or the CSIEB (csebi@ic.edu) to find out more information. Click here to see a list of organizations IC offers.
Get to know your classmates. Arrive to class a few minutes early or hang out a few minutes after class to get to know your peers. You're already in the same class, so you have at least one conversation topic!
Attend your floor socials. Getting to know the students you live next to is a great way to make friends. Additionally, having an activity to do while meeting your floormates for the first time can help break the ice and make the first conversation a bit less awkward.
Leave your dorm room door open. Although this strategy sounds weird, it definitely works. Leaving your door open can help you to know when there is activity or conversations in the hallway. It also gives other students the chance to stop by who also may be looking to make friends.
Practice healthy lifestyle routines. EduMed (2020) suggests avoiding junk food, avoiding alcohol (especially when alone), and exercising regularly. Helping your body stay healthy helps your mind stay healthy. Additionally, activities like exercising can help boost your energy and fight off depression.
Follow Illinois College accounts on Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook. While I suggest following as many accounts as you are interested in, I highly recommend following the CSEIB on Instagram (@ic_cseib). This is one of the best ways to stay updated on the upcoming campus events. Inviting a new friend to one of these events is an effective way to get to know each other while having some fun on campus too.
Give yourself time. EduMed (2020) stresses the fact that college is a new, strange environment. Being hard on yourself for not having enough friends is not going to make you feel better! Understand that it takes a while to find your groove in college, and that could mean that it takes longer than you would like to find your right group of friends. But do know that you will find friends you are comfortable with, even if it takes longer than it takes others.
Seek counseling. Never feel like you have to battle loneliness on your own. Match with a counselor on Uwill or reach out to Chesley to receive a better understand of loneliness and more profound tips to combating it.
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American College Health Association. (2019). Reference group executive summary: Spring 2019. National College Health Assessment. https://www.acha.org/documents/ncha/NCHA-II_SPRING_2019_US_REFERENCE_GROUP_EXECUTIVE_SUMMARY.pdf
EduMed Staff. (2020). Helping college students combat loneliness. EduMed (blog). https://www.edumed.org/
resources/student-loneliness-help-and-support/