Lilly

Despite these kinds of thoughts, I don't think it has sunken in that I have left Italy, and that there is a chance I will never return. While I do miss Italy, I think I have been too busy to process that I am gone. The crazy busy life I have been living the past week feels like the exception, not the norm. The fact that Italy felt more like a life than what I am doing at home speaks volumes to me. It tells me that I am doing too much here in America- that I am subscribing to our task-oriented culture too strongly. All this time that I have been doing, I have been missing out on the chance to build relationships with people like the ones I built in Italy. Italy has shown me I need to make my life a bit more relationship oriented, as I was very happy when it was. Though I learned many things in Italy, I think that is the most important of all- I learned another step towards what will make my life a happy and fulfilling one. So with that new knowledge, I am saying goodbye to Italy, and saying hello to the start of a new life back home that has been shaped by what I have learned while abroad.

When in Rome

May 29th, 2018

After spending the afternoon in Pompeii we drove another two hours or so to get to Rome, where we spent the remainder of Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. On Sunday we fought through the long lines to go see the pope speak. We probably stood on line for forty minutes (during which time I got a sunburn) before we got to the security officers. Once we passed through the metal detectors, we were in the main square of the Vatican. From there we could just barely see the pope in a high up window. Despite all the effort we went through to see the pope, I didn't really enjoy seeing him speak a lot- probably just because I didn't know what language he was even speaking. I could only stand there and feel lost and confused as he spoke, and I very rapidly stopped paying attention. I did, however, enjoy seeing how the other people reacted to hearing him speak, and that is where my attention shifted to- people watching. There were parts of his speech where everyone in the square joined in and recited what I assume was a prayer together. At another point, he must have been mentioning towns or something like that, because different groups of people would cheer after he said something. After seeing the pope, we went to the weekly market. It was geared more towards older adults, as I was the only one to find something I liked enough to buy it (it was a bag with cat faces on it).

On Monday, we woke up early to go eat breakfast at the Vatican and tour the museum. I didn't even know the Vatican had a legitimate museum with artifacts from non-christian groups before I got there. I was pleasantly surprised to see a room of artifacts from ancient Egypt, as I have always been interested in Egypt. As part of the museum tour we also got to see the Sistine Chapel. It was much smaller than I expected, but it was beautifully decorated. It still hasn't sunken in that I have seen famous works such as the Creation of Man in person. When I was in European History and studying such famous works as the ones by Michelangelo, I never thought I would be able to see them in person. Yet now I have, and I can say they were as beautiful as the pictures make them out to be. After the Vatican we went and toured the Coliseum. It was a massive structure that I cannot fathom how people built it. But it was beautiful and I really enjoyed learning about it. Sadly, we only got to spend the last 30 minutes of our "Coliseum tour" (it was a 2+ hour tour, and we spent most of it not at the Coliseum...) actually at the Coliseum, so there was much I didn't get to see or learn. Despite only spending a little time there, I still really enjoyed myself and I am glad I went. Our evening ended with a trip to the Trevi Fountain and our last gelato in Italy. Ultimately, it was a spectacular evening, and I am sad it was my last.

Ashes, Ashes, it All Went Down in History

May 28th, 2018

On Saturday we left Bernalda early in the morning and traveled to Rome. After driving about two hours, we stopped to go visit Pompeii - a place I was really excited to see. I can remember learning about Pompeii in elementary or middle school, and being fascinated by the idea that there is an entire town just frozen in time. I was really eager to see it in person, even though I wasn't feeling 100% on Saturday.

At Pompeii we walked around and got to see houses, an arena, vineyards, frescoes, and other remains of a long gone civilization. To see that elements of a city that existed about 2000 years ago could still be found and studied not only fascinated me, but it showed that just because we all must die, it doesn't mean we are forgotten. However, it also made me think about the ethics of archaeology. I couldn't help but wonder what right we have to study peoples of the past, and more importantly, to put things like their petrified bodies on display. Certainly, the bodies of the people of Pompeii are historical artifacts, but should we be treating the dead as objects to be gawked at in a museum? In line with those thoughts, I couldn't help but think about whether I would want to be on display in 2000 years, or if I would want people of the future digging up my remains and the remains of my civilization to study them. As an academic, I am all for the pursuit of knowledge. However, I feel like there needs to be a line somewhere. I just don't know where. I still don't know the answer to those questions, but looking at the remains of this ancient civilization left me wondering if our reverence of historical artifacts, a reverence that leads us to take things from tombs and put objects in display cases, comes from a place where our desire to understand another culture outweighs our ability to respect it.

So Long, Farewell

May 24th, 2018

Today was our formal goodbye from the school. They prepared a concert for us in which students played the guitar, the accordion, and the tambourine. The music was fantastic. I can't believe they put that all together in just two days. I think my favorite thing was that it wasn't a formal concert- everyone joined in singing the songs and the students got up and started dancing. They made a point to include us and teach us traditional marriage dances. At one point we did a tarantella (kind of like a conga line) around the room, which I joined when one of the students grabbed my hand and pulled me out of my seat. We were then taught another dance where you and your partner lock arms and go in a circle, and then swap arms and go the opposite direction. We also did a dance where you make a tunnel with your arms, and the pair on the end runs through. Then, once they reach the other end, they reform the tunnel and the next pair goes. Even though I don't dance, I had a lot of fun learning these dances from the students.

The entire time we have been here the students have been open to interacting with us (albeit a little shy), and that really culminated today in the dancing. They were so relaxed and open and just focused on having fun with us, they didn't worry about their English. It was really an amazing experience and it will definitely be one of my most memorable goodbyes. I look forward to maybe coming back again next year (hopefully as a TA for the class) so I can continue the connections I have made and build on the experiences I have had here. My time in the school has been amazing I wish it did not have to come to an end. I just hope that I am saying goodbye in order to be able to say hello again.

Just Keep Swimming

May 22nd, 2018

On Saturday we went to Alberobello and Castro. In Alberobello we got to see what I was told looks like a city for gnomes. All the houses are round with cone roofs. While there, I learned that there was a reason for that style of roof- not only was it easy to build, it was easy to deconstruct. This is important, because the tax collector used to only collect taxes from houses with roofs. As Carlo Levi remarked, the tax collector was often ruthless, taking peoples food or livestock if they did not have enough money to pay their taxes. Therefore, by being able to quickly deconstruct the roof of the house, people were able to avoid having their livelihoods taken by the tax collector. The fact a whole town was built like this speaks to the ingenuity of the people, but also the harsh times they were living in. People avoided taxes out of necessity, meaning that much of the town was living in poverty so bad that if the tax collector came and took their livestock or food, the family would starve.

We stopped at Alberobello on our way to Castro, which is where we stayed the night and spent our Sunday. Sunday was our free day and we only had one thing to do- relax. I spent the morning napping by the hotel pool. Even though I put on sunscreen, I managed to get a patchy sunburn (I guess I didn't put on sunscreen well). I have mild burns on my left knee and ankle, and up my right calf. The burns were easily the worst part of my day, and they weren't even that bad.

My nap by the pool ended around two o'clock, as that is when we left for a two-hour boat tour of some coastal caves. The tour was amazing, as we got to see beautiful caves and even swim into one sulfurous cave. In one of the caves we got to look at from the boat, archaeologists had found human skeletons and prehistoric cave drawings. During our boat tour, we also took a swim break, where several of us made the ambitious goal to swim all the way to the shore. By the time I was half way there, I had to keep telling myself to just keep swimming, as I am not a strong swimmer and was having a hard time keeping up with my peers. Eventually all but one of us decided to swim to some rocks on the shoreline rather than all the way to the beach. The water was so blue and clear that you could see all the way to the bottom, even when it was too deep to touch it (yes, we tried). I had an amazing time swimming in the Adriatic Sea, and I hope that at some point in my life I will be able to return and experience it all again.

A City Upon a Really Big Hill

May 15th, 2018

Yesterday we spent the entire day exploring Matera. Coming in, the only things I knew about Matera was that it was "the shame of Italy" - a reputation caused by Carl Levi's description of the town in Christ Stopped at Eboli. In his book, he described Matera as a poverty ridden and plague ravaged city. He described the land it was on as barren and dead, and questioned if the houses could even be called houses. However, approximately eighty years later, Matera has been announced as the Cultural Capital of Europe for 2019. The Matera I saw was vastly different from the one Levi described- I saw a thriving city with a history. I got to visit the cave dwellings, and they were amazingly practical uses of what the people had to their advantage. While some parts of the mountain had visible dirt and rocks, other parts were green with grass growing. For a land that couldn't support life, there were an awful lot of people, birds, cats, and other animals living there. Sure, the buildings didn't all look extremely modern, but they looked like they had a story to them. The view from the city was breathtaking, and the city itself was picturesque; it looked as if it was a part of the mountain, like the mountain opened itself up to care for these people and provide for them a safe home.

While in Matera, we toured several churches that were constructed inside caves. While the front sections were clearly constructed, the deeper parts of the churches were still in the shape of the natural caves they existed in. While the churches were decorated with beautiful frescoes, I felt the beauty of them came from the use of what was already there. It just felt natural to be in the caves, and like the caves were a better place to worship than a formal church because it is using what was provided to us.

The story of Matera that I saw differed drastically from the one I read. This difference demonstrates, at best, how Matera has grown and thrived since Levi published his book, or, at worst, how Levi grossly miss-represented the city. Had someone described the city to me the way Levi did while I stood there and looked over the ravine, I would not have been able to believe them, or even picture it in my mind because the beauty of Matera is so immersive.

Zipping Through the Market

May 13th, 2018

Today we woke up early to go to the monthly market. The main street was lined with stalls selling things ranging from clothes to cookware to live birds, bunnies, hamsters, and pigs. It was really exciting to see all the stalls and people out shopping. I had a blast shopping and ended up buying two dresses, a shirt, and some flowy pants. Sadly, we had to leave by noon, so we didn't get to go to every stall. Had we moved faster at the beginning, we would have been able to see more stalls. Also, I had planned to return to some of the earlier stalls and pick up some items that I had not initially bought, and was unable to do so. I really would have loved to have more time at the market, and I wish we had woken up earlier to go right at seven when it began.

After the market, we drove an hour to the southern Dolomites to visit Castel Mezzano, which is a town high up in the mountains. There were so many spectacular views, and everything was so beautiful. While we were there, we got to do a zip-line from one mountain to another, and then back again. In order to get to the zip-line, we had to hike up a mountain, which was not an easy task. While the walk took us about 30 minutes, it was worth it, because the views from the zip-line were amazing. I got to fly off the mountain and over the valley. I was so high up that the roads were tiny, and the only noise I could hear came from the zip-line. The mountains were nothing like I expected based on my reading of Christ Stopped at Eboli by Carl Levi. Levi left me with the impression that the mountains would be dead and craggy and unable to support life. But the mountains I saw were green and lush with sheep grazing, houses scattered through the fields and entire large towns up in the mountains. I think Levi painted a more negative view of the region that was necessary, and that has contributed to the story that the south is somehow lesser compared to the north. I am glad I got to see this for myself rather than only being able to read Levi's book, as I think Levi's book was skewed by his status as a northerner. Being able to see what he described with my own eyes and see the differences has been an excellent demonstration of the danger of a single story.

Thinking About the Invisible

May 12th, 2018

As of today, we have gone to the high school and been in the classrooms for three days. Though it has only been a short amount of time, going into the school has taught me a lot- especially about my own culture and about myself. Twice the students have asked me about my opinion on President Trump, which not only reminded me how little I know about politics, but showed me how much people younger than me and an ocean away care about the political power and presentation of the US. I was disappointed in myself for not being able to converse on this topic- a topic they were eager to discuss- due to my lack of knowledge about politics. If teenagers in another country care about our politics, I really should care more; at least enough to be informed.

The students also have asked me about things ranging from what we eat to what Americans do to be good stewards. To my surprise, I found myself really having to think about my answers to these questions. Americans don't just eat one type of food- we are as diverse culinarily as we are we are ethnically. When I struggled to come up with answers, one of the students immediately suggested fast food, followed by McDonald's. Though I understand why, I was saddened to hear that McDonald's is the public face of American cuisine. As for stewardship, there wasn't much I could say for Americans as a whole- I had to explain to the students that unfortunately, it is individuals who practice good stewardship rather than the country.

I struggled with almost all the questions that were asked about America and our culture. As a cultural insider, what makes up my culture is not what I normally think about. Because culture is this invisible force that connects a group, I had to take a moment and try and visualize it through how culture is manifested. This showed me how little I think about the culture I am part of and challenged me to take a step back and really analyze the world I have been living in for 19 years.

In addition to all the discussions we have had, I also got to participate in a gym class- and I mean actually participate. Of my own free will. While I normally do not play sports and I spent all of high school doing my best to avoid gym, I couldn't help but try and play with the students. They were so welcoming and supportive that I felt comfortable enough to try playing volleyball with them. While I wasn't that good (I had two successful moments the entire class), I didn't just sit on the side lines like I thought I would when we were told we were going to the gym.

Overall, I have had a really good time in the school, and I am excited that I have two more weeks of working with the students. I look forward to their next challenge for me, because I have been learning more about myself than I thought I would, and developing an accurate image of one's culture and them-self is needed to be self-aware, but is often neglected because it is not common to experience a cultural challenge as the insider of the majority culture.

My sadness came from my own lack of knowledge. Here I was at these awe-inspiring ruins and looking at beautiful artwork, and I knew nothing. I knew all of the buildings and items were old, as they are all "ancient" and/or "artifacts", but I had no idea how old. Even if I did know what time period everything was from, I do not know enough about history to be able to understand what was happening in the area or in the world at the time these structures were built, the rings were carved, and the vases painted. I know nothing of the muses that inspired such beautiful expressions of human creativity. Because of this, I can look at all of these things and be in awe, but I can't understand them. While I can tell the region has a rich history, I can't see many of the details. My lack of knowledge confines me to a surface view. To my own sorrow, I am stuck looking at the pictures because I can't read the story.

If I want to read the story, then I really need to learn more about history. Even though I don't have time to take a class, I can at least watch some documentaries or google things in my free time. learning more about history will give me context not only when I visit museums or historical sites, but it will give me context for why the world is the way it is today.

The awe and sadness I felt at the ruins was starkly contrasted by the feelings I had visiting the family farm. I was surprised to learn that things like vases are commonly found during plowing, and that the family had actually found some on their land. While on the farm, I was awash in a calm happiness. Everything was so serene, and the weather was perfect- warm, but not hot, and there was a slight breeze. While eating lunch outside, I couldn't help but relax in nature's rejuvenating embrace and pet the barn cats.

While on the farm, I learned of things I didn't even know existed. For example, I learned that depending on the type of hen that laid the egg, the color and texture can differ. Similarly, color and texture differ between species too, with goose eggs being larger and whiter than chicken eggs. I got a glimpse into a life style I had no exposure to. It was an amazing experience, and that was largely due to the people. The entire family opened up their home to us, and they not only showed us the animals, but let us into the pen to experience and learn about the animals. The language barrier did not keep us from learning, as our hosts were patient and willing to communicate through non-verbal ways such as letting us touch things or demonstrating what to do. Through all this learning, the calm happiness pervaded, introducing me to a level of relaxation that is difficult to experience in America's work-centered and busy culture. As I should have expected, I had a whole new experience that was only possible because I am in a whole new culture and environment.

Perhaps the first and biggest cultural difference I felt was in our concept of time. We went to dinner last night, just pizza- nothing fancy, and we were out for over three hours. After the first hour, I just wanted to go home; I didn't care that I hadn't eaten. I was exhausted from traveling and I was getting antsy from sitting there for so long. I have felt this time difference again and again in just the two days we have been here. Sitting around at breakfast this morning I noticed I was tense, and it was from having free time and not being in a rush. Later, while waiting to leave I was getting frustrated because I felt I should be doing something rather than standing around. Time is treated differently here- in America, time is like a toy you buy and let sit in the box because you know its a collectible and will one day have value if it's new. Here in Italy, time is that same toy, but it actually gets taken out of the box and played with and enjoyed. It isn't that time is less valuable here than it is in America, the value of it is just appreciated differently. It seems like the people here know how to simply exist in and enjoy the present, while in the States we focus on making the most out of every moment so that sometime in the future we will be able to stop and enjoy everything.

I never truly understood just how much emphasis Americans placed on using time "efficiently" until now. I'm frustratingly aware of every minute I am not being productive, and bothered by the fact it frustrates me. I feel like the foreigner I am, and it is forcing me to reevaluate my culture by providing me with something different to compare it to.