The year is 2017. I am 31 years old and taking a break from work...finally. I hop on a plane and fly to south Texas to visit family and relax by the beach, one of my favorite activities of all time.🌊🌞 I am laying flat over the warm sand, closing my eyes and trying to concentrate on the sound of the waves as they rise and fall. I listen to them breathe in and out. I begin to look forward to them rocking me to sleep the way they always do, especially since I have had a couple of sleepless nights over the past couple of days. I wait, and wait, and wait some more, but nothing is happening, I am wide awake. I catch myself feeling annoyed and tense at the fact. I can’t make sense of it. “I am in my sanctuary, why am I unable to relax?”, I wonder. I ignore my thoughts and instead blame it on the fact that my mom has been constantly interrupting my attempt to rest with her endless offer for snacks.😵😑 (A “Mexican-mom-must” anytime her children are around.)

We drive away, and I feel my body enter in a state of contradiction. It wants to rest, but somehow seems to have forgotten how. Later that same evening, my family and I decide to go for an afternoon walk around the neighborhood, a time for peaceful exercise and family bonding. I smile to myself as I come across the beautiful wildlife around the water reservoir behind my parents house. Suddenly, like out of nowhere, my step dad spots a lost dog. The dog is friendly and playful, the kind of dog that wins your heart immediately. I begin to pet it and decide I need to help it find its way home. Unfortunately, I can’t seem to concentrate. My brain feels foggy, there is tightness around my face, shoulders, neck, and back. A small part of me begins to grow a bit emotional. “Am I so tired and stressed I can’t even help a lost dog now?” We finish our walk and later that night, as I am trying to enjoy a hot shower, my body finally decides to lose it. I begin crying, and then, I finally begin to sob. Something is wrong...really wrong.

There’s a line in a song by Casting Crowns that I really love; it says: people never crumble in a day. And friends, ain’t that the truth?

My truth is, I had this coming. But being the blind and sometimes disconnected person that I am when it comes to my own personal needs, it took a breakdown for me to finally realize it. For two and a half years I had been traveling around the country for work. I was jet lagged, sleeping only about 4-5 hours per night, eating fast food, and hardly exercising. I was writing work checks that my body couldn’t cash. So eventually, my health overdrafted.

Here I am today, four years later and learning that just the way that people don’t crumble in a day, inner peace and harmony aren’t built in a day either. These last couple of years have reminded me that here on earth, we operate under the principle of seed, time, and harvest. First we plant, then we wait, then we grow. I can plant for stress, or I can plant for peace. For me, the process of recovering my health and planting for peace has started with taking MEDS on a daily basis:

• Meditation

• Exercise

• Diet

• Sleep

One of my biggest realizations as an adult who was in her thirties and traveling alone for work 80% of the month was that I am my own parent now. No one is going to come to my room and yell “Lights out in five minutes!” anymore. No coach is going to come to me and yell, “Don’t forget we got practice at 7:00AM!” so I can get that work out in. Worst of all, no one is going to come and tell me to stop eating those Hot Cheetos that I love so much (I am ugly crying as I am typing that last sentence btw😭).

As an adult, you are your doctor, you are your caregiver, you are your own hero! No one else is going to come and save you. This has been one of the hardest things to accept for me, but also, it’s been one of the most empowering things.

Life is made up of all the choices we make throughout the day. We can choose if we stop to take deep breaths or jot down all the things we’re grateful for. We choose when and how often we get up and stretch or go for a walk. We decide if we cook at home or if we grab a hamburger in the drive through for the 3rd time this week. We decide what our night ritual is. It’s empowering and humbling at the same time. Today, if I can grow a spark within you, I pray for this: May you have the serenity to accept the things you can not change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Namaste my friends!