Social Interactions

Supporting Social Interactions at Home

When we talk with people, we follow certain rules—even if we don’t always notice them. These rules help us speak kindly and clearly with others. Children learn these rules in two ways: by being taught directly (like “Don’t talk while chewing”) and by watching how grown-ups and others talk. These rules can be also different across different cultures.

Learning how to talk with people in different situations takes time. The best way to help kids learn is by using real-life moments. If your child forgets a rule, you can gently explain what happened and show them a new way to do it. If they use a new skill, you can praise them (like saying, “You did a great job waiting your turn to talk!”).

Here are some everyday times when you and your child can practice talking and listening skills together.

Waiting Our Turn

Sometimes, when kids have something important to say, it’s really hard for them to wait—even if someone else is already talking. That’s okay! Learning to take turns when talking takes time and practice.

✅ If your child interrupts, you can gently touch their arm or give a small wave to show you’ve noticed them. Keep talking, and when you’re finished, say something like, “Thanks for waiting until I was done. Now it’s your turn, and I’m ready to listen.”

✅ If your child waits instead of interrupting, let them know you noticed! You could say, “I saw that you really wanted to say something while I was talking. Thank you for waiting!”

✅ Ignoring your child when they interrupt might not help them learn. It’s better to guide them and show a new way to join the conversation.

✅ Playing games is a fun way to practice taking turns. You can model this by saying things like, “It’s your turn” or “Now it’s my turn.”

Place and Time

Sometimes, children need help understanding that some topics are best talked about in private places, like at home.

▶️ If your child brings up something personal in front of others, you can gently change the subject and say, “Let’s talk about that later. That’s something just for our family.”

▶️It’s important to explain why some things are private. Children might not know what “personal” or “private” means, so you can help by talking about those words.

▶️You can also practice with role-playing! Pretend you’re at a restaurant or grocery store and take turns talking about what’s okay to say in public and what’s better to talk about at home. You can even make a little “script” to help your child know what to say.

Sometimes, children want to talk about something important, but it might not be the best time for someone else.

▶️ You can help your child learn this in the moment. For example, if your child asks about going to the park after school while you are rushing to get out the door, you can say, “That’s a great question. Right now we’re in a hurry and feeling stressed, so let’s talk about it later when we’re calm and have more time.”

▶️ If your child is tired or upset and you want to talk about something like homework, you can model what to say: “I want to talk about your homework ideas, but I see you’re feeling tired and stressed. Let’s wait until we’re both feeling calm.”

This helps kids learn to notice how they’re feeling—and how others may be feeling—before starting a conversation.

Photo of a woman and child blowing dandelions outside.

Where Did That Come From?

Sometimes children say things that don’t match what the conversation is about. That’s okay! It can be hard to stay on topic, and learning how takes time.

⭐ One way to help is by gently guiding your child back to the topic. For example, if you’re talking about going to Grandma’s house and your child suddenly says, “Squirrels like to bury nuts,” you can say, “We’re talking about going to

⭐ We're talking about Grandma’s right now. Let’s finish that first, and then we can talk about squirrels.” After you finish the first topic, you can say, “Okay, now we’re done talking about Grandma’s. Let’s talk about squirrels! Tell me more.”

⭐ If you ignore your child’s new idea, they might not learn how to bring up something important in a kind and respectful way.

⭐ Sometimes, what your child says might seem random, but if you ask questions, you might find out how it connects to what you were talking about.

Tell Me More

Children are still learning how much to say when they’re talking with others. Sometimes they don’t have the right words yet. You can help by giving them the words to use and letting them repeat after you.

🗨️ If your child wants something, you can show them how to say: “Can I have it, please?”

🗨️ If your child wants a turn, you can model: “My turn next?”

🗨️ If playtime is over but your child wants to keep playing, you can help them say: “I want more play!”. Then you can gently remind them: “I know you want more play, but it’s time for lunch now.”

🗨️ You can also help your child learn how to make comments during play. Try saying things like:

“My truck is blue! Your truck is red.”

“That’s creative!”

“I like your ball.”

“Look at what I made!”

🗨️ To help your child focus on the same thing as you, try saying: “Look at this!” and hold the toy or object at their eye level so it’s easier to see.

🗨️ Sometimes children think you already know what they’re talking about. You can help make their message more clear by asking for more details. Try saying: “I’m not sure who you're talking about. Can you tell me more? What are their names? Are they in your class?”

These suggestions were adapted from Helping Kids Socialize (Emrich, Paliani, Prescott, Waselenko & Warr-Leeper, 2000).