Michael Tucker writes of his brother, Stuart
Stuart Vivian Tucker was born on the 22nd March 1929 in Wimbledon. He was the first child of Gordon and Mabel Tucker. A short time later our parents moved to their first permanent home in Epsom, Surrey. I was born there in October 1934, and our late brother Bruce was born in March 1943. Our father had served in the Royal Flying Corps during the Great War, and our mother had entered the nursing profession.
We lived in a very close-knit community and were fortunate that dad built a grass tennis court, which took up most of the back garden. Very few families owned a car. Much of the traffic in those days was horse drawn, and the sight of racehorses being trained was always a delight to watch. They were lovely days, but when the Second World War broke-out, life changed considerably. Stuart and I either walked or took a Penny bus ride to school always carrying our gas-masks. Every Sunday we attended Church at St Barnabas. As the years progressed, we all served in the various duties in the Sanctuary always observing the black-out regulations throughout the war. Neighbours and friends continued to enjoy our tennis parties, but we all had to take cover when the loud siren warned of an imminent air attack. Under God’s divine protection we survived the day-and-night attacks from the enemy. It was a huge relief when it all came to an end in 1945.
Now here is a funny story! In 1941, Stuart became ill with chickenpox. As expected, I caught it, too, from him! We were confined to home and were told that we would not be allowed to attend school until the spots, which turned into scabs before dropping off, had vanished. In time all my spots cleared, but not Stuart’s. How and why was that? Well, he saved all the scabs in a small bottle and stuck them back on to his skin with Durofix glue he used in building his modal aircraft! How he got away with that ingenious, deceiving trick during mother’s daily observations, I really don’t know. I learned all about it many years later! Stuart’s high school years were at Epsom Grammar School. Many years later he attended annually a dinner for the ‘Old Boy’s Association’ at which he enjoyed reminiscing about the good old days, with so many former pupils.
In 1947 Stuart was studying architecture, however, he was called up for National Service and served in the Royal Engineers. Posted to war-torn Hannover, he lived and worked with fellow soldiers and German civilian employees in a battle-scarred mansion which was commandeered by the British Army Occupation of the Rhine, as one of its Post Offices. During his time there, he kept us well informed through his most interesting letters about his daily work and leisure time.
In July 1952, our family moved to Woodfield Lane, Ashtead. As a family, we regularly attended services at St Giles and St Georges. This continued to be a large part of Stuart’s life until recent years when the church would then come to visit him. Stuart had a number of interests. He had taken up acting with the Falkland Players Amateur Dramatic Society in Merton, Wimbledon. He put his heart and soul into the productions, not only in acting in many plays, but also in stage-managing. With every play he made a scale model of the stage set which they used at rehearsals. They proved to be invaluable. Stuart asked if I would like to have a part in the Society’s forthcoming production, ‘It’s different for men’. I was indebted to him for that invitation, which inspired me to do more years later.
Another pass-time Stuart had was making and flying modal aircraft. He joined the Leatherhead & District Modal Flying Club. It was not long before he became its Hon. Secretary and the Club’s Treasurer. Because the members held him in such high esteem, he was annually elected and held those positions of office for 30-years. Quite a record! My brother Stuart was a quiet man in many respects, but at the same time was a very willing worker and very conscientious in everything he did. He had a fantastic memory, especially for dates. He always remembered peoples’ birthdays and sent them Birthday cards which they more than appreciated.
Stuart didn’t care for school, but although I liked it, I had great difficulties in reading. I lent on Stuart tremendously and I shall always be so grateful for the time he gave in reading stories to me. Stuart was also an excellent correspondent. During my time in the Royal Air Force, Stuart often wrote enclosing various cuttings he selected from newspapers and magazines which he felt would be of interest. This continued for the rest of our lives with him often taking great delight in correcting my spelling mistakes and grammar!
Stuart worked in various clerical positions in Chessington, London and Ilford travelling to work by train. Often, he would be complaining about the rail service and the trains not running on time. Stuart would often come in late, but mother would always have dinner waiting for him. Stuart learned some great cooking skills from mother. He was so proud of his home-made marmalade that would last a year. He also made stewed apples which, of course, had to be served with custard ─ his favourite. Custard went with everything!!! Mother would have been very proud of him! Mother always referred to her three sons as “the Boys”. That endeared expression puzzled many, as those who did not know us wondered how she, in her advancing years, could possibly have three boys? That is why Stuart has asked for those two words, “the Boys” to be added to his and Bruce’s headstone.
Valerie and I were very honoured to have Stuart as our Best Man at our wedding at St. Giles in 1959. A couple of years later Stuart became a much-loved uncle of our two daughters, Sharon and Alison, and a great uncle to Matthew, Melinda, Zoe and Amy. As he had no children of his own, he referred to them as “his grandchildren”. They were all lucky enough to have got to know each other over the years with the many visits the children were able to make. Matthew & fiancé Kim visited often whilst they were living in the U K bearing homemade yummy food which he loved. I should mention here that Stuart met a lovely young lady, Joan Brown, whilst on a Christian Hostel Association holiday, they became engaged, but sadly they did not marry. However, they remained very good friends until she sadly passed away. Stuart was truly committed to Joan and tended to her grave for many years until his own health prevented him from doing so.
Throughout the years Stuart cared so much for our parents and younger brother, Bruce, and at the same time kept in very close touch with us and our families in Melbourne. Although he never visited Australia he had to watch “Neighbours” every day, which he loved discussing with his cousin Vanessa on a weekly basis. He also loved his chats with cousin Christopher. Living so many thousands of miles away, we have been most grateful for all the support given by neighbours and friends who have lovingly assisted Stuart in so many ways. We thank you all so much for coming here today to give Stuart a great send-off he so rightly deserves. In particular, we are indebted for all the kind help Jane and Martin Hiley have given Stuart over the last few years. This has been a great comfort to us. We also thank Jane most sincerely for the wonderful way she has made all the arrangements for this Service today. We are so appreciative to Arthur who has been his full-time carer for the last eighteen months. We also thank Kerry and Martin for keeping the house and garden in such good order, and all the lovely neighbours who have assisted in so many wonderful ways. Lastly, the medical teams who have visited the home. All these wonderful people have enabled Stuart to stay in his own home, where he died on 8th November 2021.That was his wish. Arthur has told us how Stuart had taught him daily the meaning of many English words. Stuart would often tell us that Arthur is one of the kindest men he has ever met. Stuart was a very humble, super-caring person and he never complained. Several times over the past few months, Stuart expressed to me how thankful he was for such a long life, and that he was now ready for his departure and to be received into a better place with our Loving Lord. It’s in these difficult and unpredictable times of a global pandemic that the importance of love and family really hit home. He was a good man, friend to all and a much-loved brother, brother-in-law and uncle.