We often hear phrases like “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” or “failure is a stepping stone to success.” While these sayings may sound cliché, they are rooted in compelling psychological truth. Experiencing and reflecting on adversity—particularly when the experience is revisited with support—can actually improve our wellbeing, resilience, and long-term success.

This idea is grounded in the concept of "stress inoculation" (Meichenbaum, 1985), which suggests that exposure to manageable levels of stress helps individuals build coping strategies for future challenges. Adversity, when processed with intention, acts like a psychological vaccine. Each time we face difficulty and emerge stronger, we reinforce our capacity to handle the next challenge.

However, it’s not simply adversity itself that’s beneficial—it’s how we respond to it. Psychologist Martin Seligman notes that individuals who learn to reinterpret failure and setbacks in a constructive way tend to flourish more over time (Seligman, 2011). This growth-focused mindset, sometimes called post-traumatic growth, is increasingly recognised as a key to developing grit and resilience (Tedeschi & Calhoun, 2004).

So how do we repeat the benefits of adversity? First, we must normalise struggle. School is a place where students face academic pressure, social changes, and emotional upheaval—all of which can be overwhelming. But it’s also a space for reflection and growth. By encouraging students to view challenges as opportunities to learn rather than as reflections of failure, we help them build an inner narrative of strength and capability.

Second, adults—teachers and parents alike—play a crucial role. Research shows that supportive relationships are one of the most important protective factors in turning adversity into advantage (Masten, 2014). When students are given the space to reflect, talk, and try again, they begin to understand that setbacks are not endpoints, but turning points.

Finally, repetition is key. Each time a student overcomes a difficult test, navigates a friendship issue, or copes with disappointment, they are rehearsing resilience. And like any skill, resilience improves the more we practise it.

So, let us not rush to shield young people from all struggle. Let us walk beside them as they face it—again and again—and emerge just a little stronger each time.