Reflection

At first, the task of completing 20 drawings in the first week of classes was daunting. I was so scared about how long it would take, losing interest in it early on, and feeling uninspired. I had to just force myself to begin. You can tell that in the first 6 pieces, I was afraid of color. I defaulted to my normal charcoal style, leaning realistic and keeping the page almost entirely covered in value, then added in scribbles of color for 1-2 and 5-6. Throughout the whole process, I was just trying to learn how different ways of layering the two materials would appear. In 3, I began by scribling up and down on the page with oil pastel, then shading on top with charcoal. I like the way the oil pastel "catches" the charcoal. I specifically like 3 because of the shapes created by the line in the foreground and the clouds. When I squint, it reminds me of spots in a microwave. Of the first batch of drawings, I probably like 6 the least. It seems like something is missing (not the face.... actually it might be that there isn't a face) and it is incomplete. It also feels too dark compared to the total work. I think adding more blue or green, or even peach, would add more interest.

Moving along, I started leaning more into color: drawing ontop of colorful backgrounds with contour line, using color to add figures to scenes, scribbling, and color blocking. This is where I began feeling comfortable using certain colors again. I didn't mean to, but throughout this whole work I kept a decently consistant color pallet. I didn't want things to be too bright or too dull. In 7-14, I really experimented with how to find a "sweet spot" between the colorful oil pastel and the dark charcoal. I like 7 a lot, which I titled "Do You See It Too?"  because of its content and bright colors that bring your eye in but do not overwhelm it. I also really enjoy 10, because it also relates to my interest in drawing spirits in familiar places. In this one, I drew my Babcia's garden and on top, a figure supposed to represent my Dziadziu tending the garden. It is a really sweet drawing and makes me feel comforted and looked after. Of these middle drawings, I disliked 14 the most. It isn't bad, but my balance between bright colors and value was off. I tried to block out two hands reaching towards each other with oil pastel in the back. On top would be two jellyfish strung together, referencing connections between people when drawn on top of the hands. I don't think it worked because of the brightness of the purple, as well as that it lies in the middle-dark of the value range. 

#14 prompted me to return to a balance between charcoal and oil pastel, with my charcoal work being similar to the first 6 drawings, but instead using charcoal as a texture to add depth to drawings rather than the base for the drawings itself (with the exception of 18). I like especially the abstracted landcapes. Here, my process was to cover the page in a light layer of charcoal, not blending it out. Then, I blocked in the highlights of the sky, ground, and trees with oil pastel. Going back in with charcoal, I darkened up the areas of dark value equally, regardless if they were a tree trunk, rock, or a shadow in the leaves. This gave it an abstract feel while also remaining a somewhat recognizable landcape. I think this worked best in 17, where the smudging between charcoal and oil pastel and the texture differences created a storming look. 19-20 reference this style of drawing while going back to a more recognizable subject matter. I think in 20, the mix of the two mediums with an affectionate subject matter creates a sleepy, comforting feel.

Overall, I enjoyed exploring the mediums but found the art-making process emotionally draining. It was a hard first week of classes, and I was feeling anxious about school, stressed about work, and worried about some friends. My style is expressive and so I use a lot of emotion to finish a drawing.This project was a great way to channel a lot of those emotions but by the end of it, I felt drained and vulnerable. I think, or hope, that a lot of my emotions can be seen in the drawings so atleast it might have been worth it. I want people to not just see worry or stress, but see kindness and tenderness in there too. I want them to feel comfort, even though some of the images might be a little creepy or at least curious.