Comics & Puzzles

♈ Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Your impulsiveness will lead you to an exciting new adventure… directly into a revolving door that you misjudge. You’ll spend a solid three minutes trapped before someone rescues you. It’s a humbling experience.

♉ Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You’ve been working hard, and the universe is finally ready to reward you—with an extra-long checkout line and a slow walker directly in front of you. Patience is a virtue. So is suppressing your rage.

♊ Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Your gift of communication will shine this week when you send a risky text and then immediately throw your phone across the room. The response will come in—just as you run out of battery.

♋ Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You crave comfort, but the fates have other plans. You’ll curl up in bed with your favorite show, only to realize the Wi-Fi is down. Prepare for an existential crisis.

♌ Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Your confidence is unstoppable this week! Unfortunately, so is the bird that chooses to relieve itself directly onto your freshly styled hair. A sign from the universe? Perhaps.

♍ Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Your perfectionist tendencies will be tested when you send an important email with their instead of they’re. You’ll think about it for the next five to seven business years.

♎ Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Your indecisiveness reaches new heights when asked where to eat. After an hour of deliberation, you’ll settle for something disappointing—just in time for your friend to remind you of a better option.

♏ Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
You thrive in mystery, but this week, the real mystery is where all your missing socks go. You’ll buy new ones, only for the old ones to resurface just to spite you.

♐ Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Your love for travel and adventure takes a hit when you confidently walk in the wrong direction for 10 minutes. Instead of admitting your mistake, you’ll pretend you totally meant to take the scenic route.

♑ Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
Your dedication to hard work is impressive, but this week, it will backfire when you realize you’ve been grinding away… on a project that was due last week. Time to perfect your "I'm not panicking" face.

♒ Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
Your eccentric nature attracts all kinds of people—unfortunately, this week, it’s an overly chatty stranger on public transport. You’ll learn their entire life story before you can escape.

♓ Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Your emotions run deep, and so will your regret when you wave back at someone who was definitely waving at the person behind you. Prepare for a week of avoiding eye contact.