Story of Self:
My story begins when I was very young. I had a father who came from a time period that was much different than the one I was born in. He was all about advocating for self, fighting for what you want, and not letting anyone get in your way. To my generation where we are being asked to advocate for others first, work collaboratively for things, and let others help guide you.
As a child I went through a lot of insecurities about myself and allowed myself to be in the shadows. This was a place where I was used to being. Being the youngest of eight, I was hardly seen or heard. The shadow place became my safety net that only belonged to me and I didn’t have to let anyone in if I didn’t want them. During this time, my father would encourage me to stand up for myself, not to let others look down on me or talk down on me. I was starting to advocate for myself more and more during this time.
But when my dad passed away when I was thirteen, I went back to my shadow because no one was in my corner advocating or encouraging me to be me. In fact, I was being told that I need to be more of a team player.
As time went on, I stayed in that shadow unless something profound happened and I needed to fight or react. This went on until one day as I was working at a government preschool on my college campus, my life changed. I was studying psychology at this time, but took a job as an aide in this new preschool. I thought this would give great background to what I was learning in my child development classes and a way to earn money.
After a few weeks, we got a new student. She was an amazing young lady who I instantly fell in love with. This young lady had down syndrome and on the day we first met her, I heard her parents and the teacher talking about how limited her life would be and how they had no expectations for her. They also talked about how they had to plan for living arrangements for her in the future. It broke my heart that at such a young age, no one saw that this young lady could be someone or do something. She was just seen as a burden.
At that moment, I knew my life had changed and my perspective of life needed to change. For so long I was living in my shadow by choice, while this child was being forced to live in a shadow. The next day, I went and changed my major from psychology to special education. This change sent me on my path of getting out of the shadows for myself and for others.
The concept of these shadows led me on the path that I am on today. From that day forward I knew that I wanted to help others to escape their shadows, to be in the light. To be seen, heard, accepted, understood, and most importantly someone who can achieve great things. As I started my special education journey, I knew I needed to learn that advocacy for myself in order to teach it to my students and their families. The barriers that need to be torn down aren’t just those of the student and their families, but also of those who educate them and have contact with them.
Self advocacy seems like a skill you should be born with, but for most, especially those others perceived couldn’t do xyz, this is a learning experience that needs to be taught. As I go through my teaching career, I have stressed the importance of self advocacy through the use of self awareness. My students are being taught that they need to advocate for themselves because not everyone will do it for them or have their best interest at heart. With most of them being people pleasers they will just accept what they are being told to do or believe. There is nothing wrong with pleasing others, but I want them to understand that they need to think of themselves at times first. Understand what they need to succeed and what they want to do. To build their voices up loud enough for others to hear and show respect.
Through the exploration of Deeper Learning, I came in contact with Unified Champions and realized that my goal of having students with disabilities can contribute to their school environment came to fruition. Through the process of thinking about how to help my students learn to advocate for themselves and be accepted into their school environment completely, they needed to become co-leaders with the general education students. This process began with writing a grant with Unified Champions (Special Olympics) that led to special education students taking part in leadership classes, attending leadership seminars, and doing morning announcements with the general education students. The overall goal for me is to create a space where special education and general education students come together in all activities and events as one. To eventually they take this concept out into the real world being able to work and live together without seeing the differences but seeing what each can bring.