Paul Dix is a behavior specialist and author of the parenting book When the Parents Change, Everything Changes. The book's core philosophy is that for children's behavior to improve, their parents must first change their own behavior. Dix suggests that a parent's consistent, calm, and deliberate actions create a stable and positive home environment, which in turn leads to a positive shift in their children's behavior. 

The book's main concepts

Based on Dix's principles, the book offers practical strategies for parents to create a calmer and more cooperative household by focusing on their own actions. Key ideas include: 

• Controlling your own behavior: Dix argues that you can only control your own actions, and in the most challenging moments, your reaction determines the outcome.

• Consistency is key: By remaining calm and consistent, parents provide a sense of safety and stability for their children. This helps children feel secure and reduces defiant behavior.

• Relational parenting: The approach emphasizes building strong, positive relationships with children through empathy and connection, rather than relying on punishment.

• Positive noticing: The book teaches parents to use "positive noticing" to fuel better behavior and strengthen their children's sense of self-worth.

• Restorative conversations: It also offers guidance on how to repair relationships after a conflict or outburst.