This book hit home for me. It hit home hard.

I’m not sure when it happened exactly, but at some point I wasn’t reading about Kiko Himura anymore. I was reading about myself.

I know what it’s like to have a parent who criticizes you day and night – not just your appearance, actions and personality, but also your dreams, hobbies and even the friends you hang out with.

I know what that’s like because I have a parent like that. It doesn’t matter how skinny I am, someone who judges continuously will always find fault to my body. And it doesn’t matter how sweet I try to be or how hard I try in life in general.

It. Will. Never. Be. Enough.

Because these kinds of people are unable to stop trying to ‘‘improve’’ you to fit their own pre-existing standards. You can talk to them. You can argue with them. You can shout at them. It won’t transform them into the perfect parent – the parent you’ve always wished for.

So what can you do? You have to build yourself a thicker skin, and you can stop trying to change that person, too. Don’t argue with them. It’s not worth it. You’ll only worsen your already precarious relationship. If the latter is so unhealthy it kills you inside, you have to get away. You simply have to. But depending on your situation, if they are receptive enough, I do encourage having a civil and calm discussion.

Fortunately, in my case, I can still make it work with the parent. I’ve learned that telling them about my personal life goals is not the best idea, seeing that we view the world so differently and my interests and theirs do not intertwine.

The reason I can make it work is because I’ve also realized that that parent needs love, and that I need their love as well. They and my brother are all I have here, in this country, family-wise. I don’t know why I keep referring to the parent as ‘‘they,’’ since I mentioned in other reviews that my father died when I was a baby. I’m clearly referring to my own mother.

If you want to read a lyrical story about a girl struggling with her self-image, lack of confidence, social anxiety and inability to connect with her family members – especially her mother – you’re barking at the right tree.

I make it sound harrowing and overwhelmingly affective. It’s actually not. Instead, it’s sad but very heartfelt and wonderfully hopeful at the same time, and contains just the right amount of romance. Jamie is a sweetheart – you’ll love him instantly. Same goes for Kiko Himura. Such an unforgettable heroine.

By Monica Cristina

This was brutally BRILLIANT. I have...I have feelings. So many. At least more than 2 which is intense. It was sweet and it was super super sad and had an incredible ending and just...wow, ok. Wow.

+ It has the BEST representation of social anxiety I've ever read.

It literally just read my mind and writing out my thoughts...which sounds creepy written out like that wow Cait well done. But I mean this in a good way! If you have anxiety or social anxiety...I 500% recommend this book. I mean, I heckin' recommend it even if you are a mutant potplant. The point is, though, it's uplifting and encouraging to see anxiety represented so well and with such love and care.

+ Kiko's family life breaks my heart.

Her mother absolutely psychologically abused her and is totally racist. Kiko's never felt loved, pretty, validated, or cared about. And reading about characters like that just makes me BURN with fury that they can be so overlooked. I rooted for Kiko to get her dream of being an artist and get out so so bad.

+ I loved the super sweet friendship between her and Jamie.

(oh and I also loved her beautiful and uplifting and empowering female-friendship with Emery!) But her and Jamie were SO CUTE. Like childhood friends who lost each other when they were 11 and NOW ARE BACK. Their lack of communication sort of made me want to eat a brick wall. But you know. Who communicates. Haha. No one. What did I say about mutant potplants? We are all. JAMIE WAS ADORABLE THOUGH. He did some dubious things I wasn't pleased about (view spoiler) but overall #ShippingIt.

+ I loved the discussions about being biracial.

Kiko's father is Japanese and her mother Caucasian. I believe this is #ownvoices too! It's an incredible perspective to read from an author who knows and my heart broke for Kiko being made to feel she could never belong, never be pretty, never be anything. (NO, KIKO SWEETIE, THE WORLD IS YOURS.)

+ Art. Art is good.

It actually reminds me of I'll Give You the Sun for the way the art was described so VISUALLY that you could see it. I lowkey wish there'd been sketches on the page though. I would've fallen onto my face with adoration then. <--- um yeah somehow that's a compliment. IDK, etiher mate. With my reviews we just roll with it.

+ It was really sad though.

Feelings. So. many. feelings.

+ I don't even have much to note that I didn't like???

I found the lack-of-communication frustrating, but like it was realistic. And I loved the character development and arcs a LOT. And the writing was gorgeous. 😍

It's so hard to write a review honestly. I've been reviewing for like 4+ years and sometimes you just have to raise a book in the air and say: "IT GOOD. READ PLEASE." 

By C.G. Drews