Joes and the great seed captor

It's week seven without food or water and I'm sitting, trying to incubate my egg. My babys mother has left. Moved on and started dancing with another guy. How long is this baby going to take to hatch out of it’s egg? I can't believe I've been sitting here for seven weeks, I thought to myself. 

Man, those seven weeks were the worst, doing nothing but sitting all day really messes up your legs. But now, plenty of yoga and five months later, my chick is now on its own, being able to feed itself. 

“BOOM BOOM!” my best friend Kyles goes with his throat pouch. We are searching for food, which is one of the few times me and Kyles get together. Other than that, we emus are usually alone other than when we migrate. I’ve now forgotten all about my emu baby. 

“JOES LOOK AT WHAT I FOUND!” grunts Kyles, “I TOLD YOU I WOULD BE ABLE TO FIND SEEDS HERE!” He says while swallowing the seeds he had found, trying to leave some left for his feathered friend to enjoy.

We both feed on kyles founding but then we hear a deep drumming noise from approximately 2 Kilometers away (I am very good at measuring). 

“I think the other emus found us-” I tried to warn Kyles, but it was too late. The other emus got to us, they started to gobble up all of our seeds, and I mean ALL of them. After they finished devouring our food, they trotted off as if they had done absolutely nothing wrong.

“W-WHAT JUST HAPPENED?” yells Kyles bitterly. As he is angrily grunting. I look to my side and spot something in a large barrel. 

“Hey Kyles I think I found something” I say. Kyles furiously walks towards the barrel and looks inside…

“OH-OH MY GOD JOES.. YOU JUST FOUND A LIFETIME SUPPLIES OF PEBBLES AND SEEDS!” Kyle says gleefully. We both dunk our heads into the tank full of seeds and pebbles and start swallowing them delightfully. Mmm tasty.

“I have no territory and the mating season is near.” I tell the only female iguana I am with.

“Well then you will have no attraction to harems of females if you have no territory and soon I will leave as well as I will follow my friends.” Replied the female Marine Iguana.

“Well I’m going to go and try to get some territory” I sighed.

There is no way I will beat any iguana, I am too weak but I will have to try my best as I do need territory to attract harems of females and for dominance over them. I think to myself.

8 minutes later…

“Hey, you! I want to fight you for your territory and you will have to display.” I yell.

“Well I can for sure fight you as no one has ever beat me.” Replied the 2nd Marine Iguana.

“If I push you into the water, all this stays mine and I get your territory, but if you push me you get all of mine.” said the 2nd male Iguana.

“I do agree but the thing is I have no territory.” I answer.

We start fighting and I have the worst start possible, I’m half off the island already and half in the water. He is too strong for me. I  think to myself. 

“Look who came to fight me, you can’t even survive the start, what were you thinking?” Question the 2nd male iguana.

“Don’t get too confident.” I replied nervously.

The 2nd Iguana laughs loudly, but I don’t care, I have to win this. He applied full pressure on my head and I moved back and ran to the side. He was applying so much pressure that he ran into the water and I pushed him from behind. I have won the battle. 

“Fight Smarter not Harder.” I tell the 2nd.

The 2nd male iguana leaves and all the territory he had belongs to me now.