POPO:

I feel the sun burn onto my dark coloured fine hairs as I walk through the forest. Out of the corner of my eye I spot an attractive female. Wait, I know this girl. It's Bobo! I've been trying to catch her attention for months, but she's just so stubborn. I notice a pinkness around her private part, meaning she can be mated with, now's my chance to impress her. I slowly approach her, making sure none of my friends notice that I'm being a simp again. I stand up on my legs, showing off my private parts, an action that should surely make her want to mate with me. Except she hasn't turned around yet. I shake the closest branch to me, making the green leaves fall to the forest floor. And still, no sign of recognition. She hasn't changed a bit. I shake the branch a little harder this time. Oh my god, she's turned to face me. I quickly adjust my position into something more inviting, my arms now stretch out towards her. She takes a few steps. The distance between us is only a few centimeters. It worked! My mission is completed. And my hard work was all worth it in the end.

COCO:

I can see Popo’s eyes wandering around. I am trying to catch his gaze so that he’ll see me. I want him to notice me so badly. I wonder if he thinks I am attractive. I stand tall and try my best to seem confident because that’s what I’ve heard most male Chimpanzees like. My heart sinks as I see him walk away. He stops and stands directly in front of Bobo. Another female Chimp. Someone that's not me. Everyone says she’s the best. And all the males try way too hard to impress her. She rejects them most of the time. Popo spreads his arms wide but I cannot see exactly what he’s doing. I climb up a very small hill to get a better view. My knuckles hit the ground softly as I take each step. When I reach the top, I can see that his arms are spread out and he is displaying his genitals to all the females, especially Bobo. He surely has impressed most of the females since I can see them all smiling and tapping on Bobo’s shoulder. She has accepted his “proposal”. I guess I will have to try harder. I will have to build more confidence to get a male to truly like me. I’ve been trying to find a mate for a really long time but I don’t think I’m attractive enough. I have reached my puberty stage and have even started my menstruation cycle that consists of 36 days. I have been avoiding all my brothers because they are within my family. My mom told me that I shouldn't go around searching for a mate in my family. I am going to join another troop and see if a miracle happens.

Us Orcas come in three distinct types: Northern residents (like me which are the best in my opinion), Southern residents (our less cool brothers from another mother) and Transient (the weakest of the three if you ask me). For Northern residents like me, a doctor as you humans call them, found that we will almost never mate with an orca from our own pods because we have dignity of course! I mean it’s like if you humans kissed your own brother it’s just gross! Southern residents on the other hand are way more likely to inbreed which is just ew, but the fact they tend to prefer that to going out and finding other orcas is just crazy! I mean first you try to steal our name now this! Now don’t get me started on Transient orcas. They already tend to travel in smaller groups called clans because they hunt mostly mammals which is like whatever. Like us they will leave and go find a female orca like yours truly who they can mate with. I guess it has something to do with the fact they travel in smaller groups or whatever.

I’m actually a lot like you humans to my disappointment. Unlike some other weak animals us orcas take our time and only have one baby and spend two or so years taking care of them. In most cases our babies leave the group in search of other orcas like I did not too long ago I’ll have you know! But sometimes for whatever reason they decide to stay with their moms for their entire lives which is so weird but it’s not that big of a deal I guess. We have a very similar lifespan to you humans so that can be from 50 and upwards of 80 years. That's a super long time! Since we have such long lifespans we try to normally look for another group of orcas so we can have our own families and pass in our DNA to the next generation of orcas. Ensuring that even when we pass on we will have lived a fulfilling and accomplished life! At least that’s what the older whales say, this will be my first time heading out to look for a mate so I can start a family of my own!

Now while I’m very civilised other animals are the farthest from it. Take for instance the chimpanzee. The guys will threaten and harm the females and babies to coerce them into mating with them! They also will attack and stop any other males from mating with the female! It’s almost as if I’m talking about human teenage boys except less cologne and more sweat. To add on top of that females will take their time to just pick a mate they know they didn’t grow up with. Talk about a waste of time! And what’s the point of it all if it just takes time away from you in the long run! It’s just plain dumb if you ask me!