4. Language is a Vital Means of Communication

Encourage and support children to tune in to their thoughts and feelings by being attuned and mind-minded with them. Use stories, puppets, visuals. Teach them the vocabulary of emotion. Support them to match the way they are feeling with the related vocabulary. With older children, invite them to talk through situations that have led to specific behaviours, and support them to label these emotions. This technique is referred to as ‘Name it to Tame it’ (Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson). When a child is unable to do this you can employ the technique of ‘Wondering Aloud’ (Louise Michelle Bomber) - ‘I think that you are looking a bit confused. I wonder if it's because of the changes and this is making you feel worried?’

What Does it Mean to be Attuned?

Attunement is about sensitively tuning into a child's communication signals, following their lead and enabling them to take part in the 'magic dance' of reciprocal interaction. Having an attuned adult helps a child to feel listened to, valued and respected.

Guidance for Attuned Interactions

What Does it Mean to be Mind-Minded?

Being mind-minded is an approach that recognizes and validates the independent thoughts and feelings of children. By being responsive and mind -minded, we can tune into children's emotions, desires, and interests in a way that makes them feel safe, loved and cared for. (Meins et al. 2018)

A Mind-Minded Approach to Parenting

Listen to Professor Liz Meins explain her concept of mind - mindedness

A Discussion on Mindmindedness from Edinburgh Early Years

Click link to Episode 6 of the Realising the Ambition series

Being mind-minded is discussed in Realising the Ambition

Reflective questions from the podcast:

In the current context, thinking about each child:

What is their capacity, in this space, to manage their feelings? What can we do to support them?
What is their capacity to look for help? Have they forgotten how to do this?

Teaching Children the Vocabulary of Emotion

In My Heart by Jo Witek

Guessing the Feelings with Inside Out

Name it to Tame it

Watch this video from Dan Seigel to learn more about 'Name it to Tame it'

When we return, children may need more support to link their feelings with words . Help them to 'Name it to Tame it' by giving children the language to make associations with words and how they are feeling:

' I feel ... when ...' 'I am feeling ...because'.

Wondering Aloud

“Once a child has a sense of what their experience might mean, they are then more in a position to take control over their states, sensations and feelings” L. M. Bomber (2007)

Wondering aloud is a process:

Notice a change in the child’s behaviour.
Describe this change to the child.
Ask an ' I wonder...' question or make an ' I wonder...' statement about what this behaviour might mean and how it might relate to the child's thoughts and feelings.

Provide children with different ways of accessing support with emotions e.g. a social story, visual cues when they need help, emotion cards. Practitioners should actively check in with children eg with a lanyard of emotion cards, supported with A3 visuals and noticing when children moved to a quiet corner.

Building Emotional Literacy in the Early Years

Emotions Board Maker Symbols

Speech and Language Therapy Service can support settings to create visuals for emotions cards and social stories.

Help them manage these emotions through co-regulation. Positive and attuned relationships create hope and optimism which in turn can create behavioural shifts when groups are responding to threat and challenge (David Cooperrider & Jacqueline Stavros). Help children talk if they wish to and are able - however remember not all children want to talk. Offer creative and experiential ways for them to express themselves. Prioritise small world play, painting, puppets and give time and space to do this. Enable them to communicate through role play.

Practical Ideas

Children will need a lot of support when returning to the setting, with all its familiar but different ways of doing things. Be explicit about how you want them to manage the new routines or ways of being.
Help children to put their feelings into words through plenty of opportunities and resources that help them to express their experiences and feelings. Small world play is an excellent resource to explore the child's view, as is role play, sharing a story, or puppet
Talk to the children about things that you did while you were apart and encourage them to talk about their own experiences.
Some children will be anxious about being separated from family, having spent so long as a unit. Help to feel positive about returning by reminding them that you care about them, that you thought about them and how glad you are they are back.
Use the children's art work and creations to make the setting feel familiar and give the children a sense of ownership.
Some children may have had very erratic experiences at home, or have lost a loved one. Be prepared. Discuss with your teams and families how you will respond to children's experiences and questions.

Many children will be returning to settings worried and anxious. We need to provide reassurance and safety through explicit messages that will help them to be held in mind, e.g. ‘I’ve missed reading/playing with you’, ’I missed your smile’.

Help Children to Find a Way to Feel Reconnected

This lovely video called 'While we can't hug' is about Hedgehog and Tortoise who want to give each other a great big hug, but they're not allowed to touch - how will they connect?

All children will have experienced a degree of bereavement, loss and grief e.g. loss of routine, friends, nursery and visiting grandparents. We need to think about how to respond to this. We need to acknowledge the grief and loss. Find out how they are feeling and ask them what they need. Be prepared for emotion. Doing this will not make a situation worse. If a child cries or becomes upset, it is because they are grieving and you are supporting them with this. It is important to link with families and find out how they are feeling and coping, and what they need.