Habit 4: Think Win-

Win isn’t just about being nice. It’s a character-based code for human interaction and collaboration. Most of us learn to base our self-worth on comparison and competition. We think about succeeding in terms of someone else failing—if I win, they lose; or if they win, I lose. Life becomes a zero-sum game. We start to believe there’s only so much to go around, and if they get a big piece, there’s less for me; it’s not fair, and I’m going to do everything I can to get my share. These paradigms of scarcity are worth shifting. Win-win is about constantly seeking mutual benefit in all human interactions—about finding solutions that are truly beneficial and satisfying for everyone involved. To go for win-win, we not only have to be empathic, but we also have to be confident. We not only have to be considerate and sensitive, we also have to be brave. That balance between courage and consideration is the essence of real maturity and is fundamental to a win-win approach to life.