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How to Overcome Debilitating Stress and Feel Confident and Successful
Have you ever felt stressed about an upcoming performance or recital?
Have you ever felt fear about messing up or letting other people down?
If so, I'd like to share some tips with you regarding overcoming performance anxiety and stress.
First of all, it's important to note that stress isn't inherently bad. Many people associate stress with fear of "messing up" or fear of people not like liking what we do. I think a more accurate and healthy way to look at performance related stress is thinking of it as coming from "wanting to do a good job", wanting to "feel successful", or to "feel the confidence associated with being able to do what we set out to do"
That said, there are times when performance stress can whack us out of balance in our life. In college, I felt this frequently when serving as concertmaster in the symphonic and opera orchestra. Nowadays, I'm dealing with a lot of difficult stress associated with wanting to make a good impression on bluegrass band that's hiring me as their fiddle player which involves improvising at high speeds and learning a ton of new repertoire.
Here are two of the ways that I deal with moments where stress feels overwhelming.
1. Listen to calming music. Close your eyes. Take several deep, slow breaths. Imagine you are breathing in the music. I have a playlist dedicated to this kind of music. Feel free to check it out if you'd like: Calming Acoustic Music
2. Remind yourself of "the WHY".
Ask yourself what is it that you really like about music in the first place? Think broadly, not just in relation to your own musical journey, but ask yourself why you like music in the first place.
Bring back memories of how music made you feel a certain way.
Maybe it was a song that made you felt understood and not alone in the world.
Maybe it was a concert or lasting the radio in a car with your best friends.
Maybe it was watching a superstar performer pour themselves out into a performance.
I've had all of these experiences and more. Feel free to read my "Why Music" Reflection
12 Tips for Staying Motivated in a Pandemic
Are you feeling tired, unmotivated, apathetic, or disinterested? These feelings are normal - we are in a Pandemic that has placed a tremendous amount of stress on each of us. Let's overcome this together! I've experienced a lot of these feelings and I believe you will find these strategies helpful for maintaining that natural desire to pursue your dreams! Let me know what you think of them
12 Motivation Tips for Staying Inspired in a Pandemic
Have a Hero/Musician you Admire
-Find someone who you see yourself in- a musician who plays the type of music or moves and experiences music in a way that is inspiring to you. This will take some intentional time on the internet or in conversation. This person may change over time. That's okay. Derive inspiration from a few inspiring people at a time.
Get Posters of them
-Remind yourself of that hero by surrounding your space with them. These can make for good talking points as well. Talking to family or friends about your hero/listening to them together can help generate even more motivation.
Declare Goals/Dreams/Vision
-A good vision and dream should produce strong feelings when you think about it. Start with a big dream/vision, spend time feeling those emotions, then move towards creating smaller, more achieveable goals towards that vision.
Share your vision or goals with others
-Sharing your vision can help you feel it more deeply. It will become more a part of your identity. That's why I openly share my Teaching Vision for Students, Parents, and the Community. I also have dreams to perform in the biggest bluegrass festivals. You can also ask what people think of your vision. This feedback can help you refine it further.
Put it on the Calendar
-There is nothing more motivating than having to show up. Whether its a rehearsal or a time that you declared for yourself that you were going to share/post something, having it on the calendar creates a sense of urgency and can even give a little adrenaline boost as the date comes closer. For me, this is a rehearsal I have with a new band two weeks from today. I want to make a good impression, so I'm listening to a 55 song playlist on my commute and am feeling more motivated than ever to practice.
Hang out with people who feel similar to you/play the same music
G Rockwell in the recent Q@A session said it best, find people who love the music you love and hang out with them. These people will make you want to practice more because you know that the direct result of your practice means MORE FUN with these friends of yours. By the way, you can watch the whole replay of last week's livestream here. Check out the timestamps for specific moments.
Keep instruments out of their case
I've mentioned it over and over again, and my violin is sitting on my chair at home right now... Taking it out of the case is half the battle. Beat that battle by keeping it out. By the way, did you notice what the walls looked like in the musician house I was staying in? Check out the livestream above to see what I mean...
Get feedback from people you trust
I pay $200 a month to get unlimitted feedback on my teaching, my musicianship, and my life skills. I trust this teacher and they make me feel like I can achieve anything. Sometimes I ask a question, sometimes I post a video of my playing. Either way, they make me feel like I can accomplish anything and give me self-confidence in pursuing my dreams.
Get a good pair of headphones or speakers and respect listening to music
We have gotten used to hearing music through terrible mediums. It hurts me to hear music played through these projector systems in most school classrooms. Develop a deep love and appreciation for music by investing in a good pair of headphones or a speakers system and transform the way you experience music. I love my beyerdynamics. They make my feel like I am right there next to the musicians.
Attend weekend workshops, camps, festivals, or live music events
-I'm doing this as often as possible and my attendance at them is a big reason that I have the such a deep love for music. Some of my favorites are Ashokan, Podunk, and Strings without Boundaries <-- this one has backlogged/recorded all of their recent online sessions. Click "Choose an option" under class to see if any of them pique your interest
Scour the Internet for inspiration
-Another memorable moment from the Q@A was G Rockwell talking about how he got inspired to play. He mentioned going down the path of "Internet Banjo Mania", where he searched obsessively for everything there is to know about banjo online.
Personalize your instrument or case.
-Have you seen my violin case?
My case carries so many memories and decorating it has been a big part of my building an identity around my musicianship. I also know musicians who decorate their instrument with feathers or roses. You can even get colored bow hair or bows. Just be careful with the colorful instruments. They can be lower quality. Get them from a trusted source like the electric violin shop.
What do you think of these tips? Let me know in a response. I'd love to hear from you. Would you consider forwarding this to someone you think might benefit from it? I'm committed to Arts Advocacy in the greater Darien Community and want to help spread the love and joy of music to a bigger audience.
How Creativity Can Change Your Life
Are you a Parent, Teacher, or Student...
-Looking for creative inspiration or natural motivation ?
-Interested in pursuing music as a career or developing a fun, satisfying hobby?
-Looking at colleges and wondering about opportunities for exploring the arts?
If so, check out this insightful and informative livestream. I've timestamped parts of the Q@A so you can find just what suits your curiosity in seconds!
Some Questions explored....
What advice would you give to someone interested in pursuing music?
What are your favorite genres and how did you get into them?
How did you get into music/when did you start/who influenced you?
How did you choose your Degree/What do different careers in music Look like?
I'm sharing this with you because during COVID lockdowns, I've had the chance to evaluate my role and value to Middlesex and the Darien community. I've realized that, beyond just teaching the students in front of me, my role and service as a Darien Public School Music Teacher includes Arts Advocacy to the community at large.
I truly believe that Creativity, Music, and the Arts enhance our lives in unique ways. Being creative is more than just expressing yourself artistically, it also expands our imagination, helps us envision a brighter, more exciting future, and gives us the opportunity to dream more.
I also think that a stirring vision helps us make a bigger impact in our lives. That's why I have recently created a vision for my students, their parents, and the community.
What do you think of it? What's your vision? Do you have any ideas about who we can partner with to enhance arts advocacy in Darien? I'd love to hear from you.
Mr. Scelzo Interviews Musicians
Sofia, was there a specific person that made an impact in your life?
"When I first met and took a lesson with Stacey Phillips, I was brand new to non-classical music, and felt intimidated and uninterested in fiddle music. He even made me cry after my first few lessons! But as I got used to his (brutally honest at times) personality, he showed me that in every type of music there is a beautiful history to be learned. He made me learn music not only from the players I admired, but the players who those players admired, and so on up the generations. Stacy was very harsh in his critiques, but that's what I needed in a teacher. He pushed me to work hard because he believed in me: otherwise, he wouldn't have wasted the energy to correct me at all. He also showed me that everything is connected, encouraging me to study all styles of violin outside of bluegrass, and even to be more rigorous in my study of English and science. To really excel in any subject, Stacy taught me, you first have to be a well-rounded person. It can be your teachers, parents, or even friends: my wish for any student is to find the people who will inspire and encourage you to always ask questions and dig deeper in your learning."
Ariel, what was your journey to musicianship like?
All my life I wanted to be a singer and I wasn't sure how. I decided Opera singing was for me, but had a lot of vocal health related troubles in college. After losing control of my voice, I looked for other ways to be a musician and I discovered the mandolin. After putting in hours of practice and focusing in on other aspects of music life arranging, music production, composition, playing in a band, I realized that I could make the musician life work. Berklee College of music gave me the tools to teach myself new skills, allowing me many different opportunities in my music career.
G, you grew up in Bridgeport CT, how did you get into banjo?
"I started playing guitar at age 8. After playing for a year, my uncle gave me a banjo on my 9th birthday and I went down a rabbit hole of "internet banjo mania". I learned about bluegrass, jamming, and the opportunities to perform on a unique instrument and have been pursuing that ever since"
Careers in Music
As you can see, each of these performers have decided to pursue music in different ways. Did you know there were that many different degrees in music? Music Production, Music Business, Music Performance, Music Theory/History, Music Therapy, Musical Composition, Music Education... There are many flexible opportunities for music lovers to pursue their love professionally.
Yo-Yo Ma at the Vaccination Clinic
A video of Yo-Yo Ma (Arguably the most famous cellist in the world) went viral because he brought his cello to play in the vaccination clinic. I thought this was a great idea- what a better way to spend the 15 minute wait time than to play and share music (And with a captive audience!) I intended to play for my 15 minute wait time but ended up playing until the clinic closed. Why? I love playing and sharing music- and I think you might too! Music brings people joy, it creates space for people to process feelings, and it brings back memories. I play all sorts of music from many genres and eras in history because I recognize that everyone has a different relationship to music- certain songs carry special meaning. Sharing music is scary for some people - It is no longer for me because of the number of times I practiced doing so when I was young. As a teenager, I played for my grandparents every week. Where are opportunities for you to share music?
Confessions from my School Orchestra Experience
I have a confession to make. I don't remember a single piece of music that I played in my three years of middle school orchestra. There are many reasons for this- the vast majority of sheet music created with "middle school difficulty" in mind are not popular pieces. Making and distributing sheet music takes a LONG time, and going against the current here is very difficult. Nevertheless, I vowed to do my best to change this when I became a teacher. That's why I write out most of the music that I share with my students. Even then, everyone's tastes are different. Nothing I choose will serve everyone. When I think back on my musical journey in school, I remember the music that I CHOSE. -Playing Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson and Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana in the school talent show. In high school, I started performing original music at coffeeshops and school events. The point being- my most memorable musical moments were when I had autonomy or choice over the music I was learning. My next goal as a teacher is to create an environment where students can do this. What do you think? I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Teaching Philosophy
I'd like to share a bit about me and my philosophy as a teacher.
I knew I wanted to teach music as a freshman in high school. Music camps, influential teachers, and mentors in my life had such a monumental effect on how I viewed the world that I felt I needed to provide that for others.
Today I teach and play music in a variety of styles- Rock, Pop, Classical, Bluegrass, Folk etc. I feel a particular calling to expose kids in these pivotal years of their lives to as many styles and ways of playing as possible in hopes that one sparks interest for them as they did for me.
Music brings immense joy into my life in the form of community, freedom of expression, camaraderie, and in service.
My deepest desire as a music teacher is to inspire a lifelong
love, appreciation for and participation in music.
I believe part of my calling is inspiring students in class, but as I reflect on my role I realize that my communication to you, the parents, plays a huge role in achieving this goal.
Double Your Music Learning Ability
How to DOUBLE your Music Learning ability
The 21st century offers us amazing opportunities to learn music like never before. Here is a great strategy in learning to read/improve your overall musicianship.
LISTEN to the song on YouTube, Spotify... anywhere you can access music.
TAP your foot to the beat
LOOK at the sheet music while listening- tap each measure along with the beat four times (On some occasions 1,2, or 3 etc depending on the time signature)
REPEAT steps 1-3 as many times as you need to- strengthen the ear to sight connection. As you gain confidence, start to sing along/speak along with the rhythm
If you think back- this is how many of us learned to read! Hearing our parent's voices while looking down at big picture books. We associate what we hear with what we see and make connections organically.
Tips for Parents on Enhancing Your Child's Music Education
I'd like to share with you some tips for developing this love of music in your child.
Try a practice schedule : Habits are the best predictor of success- more so than motivation or talent. James Clear, in his New York Times Bestseller Atomic Habits recommends "habit stacking" or tying a new healthy habit together with one already established. This could mean taking the instrument out right before or after a meal, upon first arriving home, during a specific period every week in school, etc. (Many students would benefit from dedicating one study hall a week to regular practice)
Coach your child's practicing: You don't need to know much about music at all to help your child develop musically. Listen for a steady beat (Can you tap your foot along?) and stop your child if you hear unsteadiness. Encourage working a little bit at a time. Some parents choose to sit with a cup of tea or listen while doing laundry/dishes.
Give your child opportunities to play informally: When I was young, my grandfather invited me to "play for my dinner" every week. He would listen to me while cooking and ask me to learn a new song or two each week. My family also encouraged me to play at family gatherings. Even better- if you play music yourself, participate in your child's musical journey!
Expose your child to music: Attend concerts, watch YouTube videos, go to workshops together. I grew up listening to Led Zeppelin and AC/DC. When my grandparents took me to see David Garrett, a Classical and Rock crossover artist, I saw the potential of the instrument- I could play the music I loved!
Send your child to music camps: My family sent me to Jazz camps, classical camps, Scottish, Irish, and bluegrass camps. Camps are usually a week long (sometimes a weekend) and they are the musical equivalent of cultural language immersion. They also help build lifelong friendships. I'm going to one for Old Time Music this weekend at my favorite spot on the planet, Ashokan Music and Dance
Practice Vs. Play
Today was Spirit Day. I was asked to stop doing what I normally teach and instead do something fun. My first thought... My class is always fun! Haha- All joking aside, I thought about this a lot. Did you know that kids in Denmark are the happiest kids in the world? There are tons of studies that have shown this. The reason, they say, is that Danish children, compared to children all over the world dedicate a lot more time to PLAY.
Playing might mean a lot of things. Recess, board games, video games, trivia... When planning for spirit day, I wanted to be authentic to myself- I don't love trivia or baking or even board games that much. My concept of fun leisure time is playing MUSIC.
There should be a distinction between PRACTICING, and PLAYING, however. Playing (For enjoyment) involves doing things you already know how to do. It feels great and generates motivation. I'll talk about practice in a moment- today was dedicated to PLAYING. The video below is a guitar hero style play along to a popular song. We did these all class.
"I Love Rock and Roll" Guitar Hero Style Play Along 🎸
PRACTICE, on the other hand, involves doing things you do NOT already know how to do. (Reading music, learning new skills...) It involves fixing errors and focusing on weaknesses, so that difficult things can become easy - and ultimately used for more PLAY. Enjoyment in practice is derived from improvement, not by PLAY. My class is normally a mix of both playing/learning. Today I dedicated my classes exclusively to PLAY- and I think a lot of my students enjoyed it.
How often is play a part of your life?? Did you know there was a difference between practice and play? Let me know!
Irish Step Dancing Challenge
I'm wondering if we have any irish step-dancers in the district?
If so, send me a video of you dancing along to this jig and I can put them together with some video editting magic!
A Playlist for your Afternoon
Get in the spirit of the day by listening to some of my favorite Irish Fiddle Players.
Click this playlist - perfect to liven up the afternoon, a commute, or accompany dinner.
My Irish Music Journey
I first heard Irish fiddling as a teenager. I was fascinated by the uplifting feel but also the hauntingly beautiful melodies! I met many Scottish/Irish fiddle players at a summer music camp at Berklee College of Music and was hooked. Today I love all kinds of music, and I am so grateful to my own teachers who exposed me to such a range of music from all over the world when I was young. What is your experience with the music? I'd love to hear from you!
Happy St. Patricks Day!
Boost Achievement and Motivation in One Easy Step
What do all Grammy award winning instrumentalists have in common? Walk into any successful musician's house and what will you see? Whether on the wall, in a prominent corner, or next to their favorite chair, you will see INSTRUMENTS out of their case, proudly displayed.
Think about it- good behaviors are made habits when they are EASY and accessible. What's more accessible in your space? Computers? Phones? TVs? OR are books, instruments, headphones, or speakers more prominent?
You've heard me mention the importance of keeping the instrument out of it's case. Take it one step further and proudly display your identity as a musician with an Instrument Stand! Here are the ones I recommend:
Embracing A Musical Identity
A question I have been asking my students... Did you do anything musical over break?
My hope is to influence all those I come in contact with to be more creative and musical in their life. Over break, I recorded a valentine's day song with musician friends of mine, successfully jammed virtually for the first time using software called "Jamkaazam", and went on a "Strolling mandolin" hike with Mr. Curley.
Embracing a "Musical Identity" means music is a part of you - Everywhere you go, everything you do - music can be a part of it!
Anyone can Compose Music!
Anyone can compose music! I started writing in high school. The pure act of creation is a satisfying and meaningful habit to adopt. I've written and composed a ton of music that I've never shared with the world. I do it anyways! Every once in a while, I will share it with others. I wrote this waltz and recorded it with some friends of mine last year. Maybe it will inspire you to do the same?
Make Money Doing What You Love!
My childhood violin teacher once told me "Find what you love and you'll never work a day in your life!" I remember when I first started sharing my music with the world and realizing as a teenager that I could make money doing what I love. As music became more and more a part of who I am, I found that I couldn't bear to be away from my instrument, even during vacations. One year, I decided to take it with me. I opened up my case on a busy street heavy with tourism and made $100 in an hour! This act, called "busking" (Playing music in public for tips) helped me realize that sharing music brings real joy and value into the world.
Movement in Music
How many of you walk around when you practice? Today, I had my students try it- it is after all how I practice often!
There are two types of movement in music - movement to the beat and actually physically WALKING. The first type shows presence to the music and comfort expressing rhythmic feel. The second type- walking- eliminates tension and is a masterful technique for ENGAGING an audience. I remember when my hero David Garrett walked right past me in the concert hall with his 1 million dollar stradavarius. I felt such incredible energy! This technique, called "Proximity" is a skill that fantastic musicians and teachers alike use to engage their listeners. By the way, cellists, you can do this too using the Block Strap!
Boost your Note Reading Skills
Is reading music a challenge for you? Do you want to read music as effortlessly as you do books? Are you a parent that wants to boost achievement by supporting your child's music literacy skills?
The transition to reading music this year is a challenge for many sixth graders (And a refresher always helps for older students!)
I've put together the following resources for my students:
"I Can Read Music" is a hyperdoc with hours of instruction, tips, YouTube Videos and more. Overseeing the use of this document a few times a week will make a big difference. You can pinpoint areas for improvement there as well.
"Double Your Note Reading Ability with Easy Tech!" is an instructional YouTube Video I made that provide helpful strategies as well.
Make Huge Gains with Tiny Habits
Want to creatively and effortlessly play music? Want more time to do the things you love? Want to follow through with the things you know are good for you? Create SYSTEMS that are EASY and satisfying. I listened to a podcast recently about the power of habit. Here are some systems that work for me. Focus on making tiny changes, not big changes, for the most long term effects. Here are systems that work for me
Practice before school, right when I walk in my room. Sometimes 10 minutes, sometimes 2 hours, doesn't matter. Keeping the instrument out of its case makes it easy
Put an instrument, or music book next to the bed- I play a little bit of something before I fall asleep, and sometimes right when I wake up.
At the end of the day, plug devices in a separate room and "put them to bed". This eliminates screen time in morning and night.
Make Practicing Scales Massively Fun and Motivating
Feel like Scales are Boring?
Shake up the humdrum of forcing yourself to practice. Practicing can be ENJOYABLE if you do it right.
I've also created and organized all your fundamentals here in a tidy Google Drive Folder. Major, Minor, Pentatonic, and Blues scales all in one place.
Country Western Day
Today gave me the opportunity to share a guilty pleasure of mine- Country Western Swing Music!
Want to get in the spirit? Check out this playlist with some of my favorite Western Swing Tunes
Shattering Limitations
In class this week I shared with my students a feeling we can all relate to. When we watch those "Superstar performers" doing the things we deem impossible, we can often feel defeated rather than inspired. "I could never do that..." "I'm not talented like that"...
I felt those same feelings, even in college. One app changed my life forever. "The Amazing Slow Downer" allows you to slow down any piece of music down to 25% speed. The real winning feature of this app is that you can set it to repeat small sections over and over again, increasing in speed by an increment of 1, 2, 3% (Or however you'd like to set it)
A friend of mine who is a jazz pianist explained it this way - "You enter this state of flow, of hyper focus, where you can almost passively watch your hands play faster and faster" I got the app the same day.
Now when I see amazing performers I just think "That's amazing! I want to play that!" and I know that I can really learn anything (With focused, patient practice)
A Story to Inspire
I've shared this with many of my students... When I was in high school, I went to my grandparent's house every Tuesday. While my Grandfather would be busy with his mouthwatering Italian cooking, he would ask me every week "What music have you been learning in school? In your lessons?" I would share music for him in exchange for a lovely dinner each week. Often, he would challenge me to learn a specific song- Familiar ones like "Yankee Doodle" "The Star Spangled Banner", or "When the Saints Go Marching In"...
Over time, as I fulfilled these requests, I developed a love for this challenge. Now I take total joy in effortlessly playing anything I hear- on the radio, TV, or YouTube. It didn't happen overnight, but rather with consistency and repetition.
Have you ever worked at something consistently and been surprised by how far you've come over time??
Finding Joy in any Situation
My beloved 2006 Honda Element ("The Toaster") has been falling apart. For the past 3 weeks I have spent countless hours weighing the cost and time to repair vs. getting a new car... a used car... etc. Long story short the decision making process took a lot out of me- it seemed that the stress of making the right decision took over my mind completely. I found it difficult to focus- I lost my concentration, and I stopped practicing COLD for a couple weeks. Even when I forced myself to play, I was frustrated quickly.
Maybe you are stressed out about something and find yourself distracted and confused as to why the things that came so easily to you before are mind bogglingly difficult. Maybe you've lost enjoyment about something you loved...
Most of the world will tell you to push through (And sometime we have to) but I want to tell you that it's important to take care of yourself. As soon as I came out the other end of this big decision, I drove home in a functional car thinking about practicing!
I got my life back, and my violin was the first thing I picked up when I returned home.
Remember that school, music, learning, and work can all be a joy when we take care of ourselves and manage stress well. Sometimes we are so lost in a pattern of overwhelm that we don't even realize how much happiness and joy is in the everyday.
Tips on Building Musicianship
<--- This is what it look like in my room!
-If possible, keep the instrument out of its case at home. Why? Studies show that we pick up healthy habits more quickly when they are EASY. Leaving the instrument out of its case helps remove a layer of resistance against practicing. Every time we see our instrument out, we get that little nudge to play!
And more tips from my Open House Video
-Perform for family and friends to get rid of performance jitters
-Actively support local artists and attend performances
-Play regularly in a local band, orchestra, or at church
-Play along with recordings or more experienced musicians
-Attend summer camps